Clean4ever

No.......Thats a complete sentence. Im a people pleaser and always use to put people above myself because I had such low self-worth. Today Im learning new ways of just being myself...Saying NO when I dont want to do something is something Im learning to practice. I would always say yes to something then get resentful and fuss and fret over it. What I was really mad at was myself for not saying NO. Learning to be honest with myself and others is tough, but well worth it. Also learning to speak up and assert myself is something I also need to work on. Growing up the youngest of four in an alcoholic home was no fun. I learned to hold my thoughts and feelings to myself for fear of stirring up more violence in the house. It was'nt worth it. So I learned the skills of silence, escapism, and Isolation. Which worked well in a house of madness...My escape into myself eventually lead me to drugs/alcohol. Today Im learning its okay to feel. I have nothing to hide anymore. Sounds like the laundry list of ACOA..1) We became isolated and afraid....2)We became approval seekers...3) We are frightened at angry people...4) We either become alcoholics...etc...I am an Adult Child....Clean

GingerM

That same behavior nearly destroyed my marriage many years ago. Thankfully, we had a good marriage counselor who had experience with dysfunctional families.

Good for you for being clean! I've been sober since 1991, and think it's one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I'll grant you, it isn't easy sometimes, but it sure beats the alternatives! So GO YOU! Keep practicing saying "no," it gets easier, I promise!