help2ndtime

Hi everyone. I'm here because I need help. I'm an addict of painkillers and am trying to recover from my 3rd relapse. I've been taking about 50-60 mgs of percocet a day for over two years. I've been tapering by 5mg a week and today is supposed to be the 1st day with just 20mgs. It's so so hard and just wondering how long before I can get out of bed and start my day with just coffee?

Ollie909

Yes that is the hardest problem, because you like the perc buzz. No different than any other buzz. The problem with this is you build a tolerance and have and to keep taking more and more more and it it never frickin quits. Then when you do you decide to quit you have go though withdrawals, get suboxone. Go Back and do it again. Screw this ****.

Dee74

welcome back help2ndtime

I looked through your old threads. There's some good advice there that still stands, I think.

I really hope you decide to do something about your addiction - visit your Dr and be honest with them, check out NA or some other recovery group, even investigate some rehab programmes - but do something for yourself....it's really true that nothing changes if nothing changes.

I can attest to that myself. You'll find a lot of support here - please use it.

D

help2ndtime

Thanks for the reply. I'm just trying to push through my morning without getting back in bed, my back hurts so bad and I can't think straight, but I can get through this. I am so ready to be done with this crap. I don't want to have to take a pill just to get through my day, how pathetic. I want to be able to handle life on my own. I have to get through this.

tsmba

Welcome! You can do this....but not by yourself. Check out Dee's advice, its all right on target. Stopping the drug and getting through the withdrawals is only the beginning, but you must do this one day at a time.

dreamscape

Hi, I know from being clean for good amounts of time and from being addicted that there is now way around this, your going to have to go thru it (me too).

There is just no way of having our cake and eating it too. Millions have tried it and continue to do so (many right to the grave).

The addiction tells us,that life is too hard without dope, but it's lying it's ass off.
It's tells us that the pain is enough to justify using, but it's lying it's ass off.

I'm tapering down and you can keep doing it too............ we all believe in you!

help2ndtime

Thanks everyone. I've found that most of my strength comes from God through prayer. He is really helping me. I know how hard the WD's are as this is my 3rd relapse. I can't believe I've done this to myself for the 3rd time. Actually, when I quit after my 2nd relapse it was because I was pregnant. I ended up having a miscarriage at 12 weeks, and was devastated. I found comfort in being high again. I could just take a pill and life was okay for awhile. What a lie. Tapering down is working so far, I have to get my body and mind used to a little less at a time. Cold turkey is not going to work because I haven't been getting my pills from a dr. I get them every month from someone that does not take his script, he gives them to me. So I can still get them if I wanted to. But I don't want to anymore.

karma35

keep believing - good luck - i third dee.... take care xxkarma

Angelic17

Hello Help2ndtime, So many people here understand what your going through, and have suffered with the same withdrawals. There is no easy way off of opiates. Suboxone has helped me, but I only took it for 3 days. Then I had to get used to my life without the opiates. It took me over a full year to start feeling any type of normal again. I was tired, and weak for the first year off of my opiates. I was addicted to Vicodins for years. I took almost 30 extra strength pills a day. The thing is that addiction is a brain disease. For me, my brain kept sending me out for more. Even when I wanted to be totally off of drugs, my brain was scheming on how to get more. I had to ignore my brains message in order to stay clean. The knowledge of knowing my brain would try to trick me was very helpful. I knew better than to listen to the message. I also prayed alot which gave me a distraction from the drugs, and I found some peace and comfort with prayers.

I will have 6 years clean in a few months. It wasn't easy, but I'm glad I went through the process of getting off of the drugs. It was worth the struggle. I no longer have to chase a drug. And I was also able to set a positive example for my own son when he showed up addicted to opiates. He is clean now too. Get through one day at a time. If you get anxiety keep in mind it will only last for about a minute or less. Tough it out. You will be glad you did. I'm sending you a hug of support. You can do this. If I could do it, so can you.

help2ndtime

Thank you for the reply. It's very intimidating hearing that it took you a year to feel normal again. But I can relate, because a few years ago I had become addicted to vicodin (used for a year) due to kidney stones. It took about 6-8 months to be able to not think about wanting to get high. And that was with the help of 3 anti-depressants. I'm not looking forward to the long road ahead, but it has to start sometime. I can't live like this. This is not me. I'm so ashamed. I come from a good family and have a beautiful husband and daughter. I finally broke down and told my husband last month about my addiction. I had hidden it from him for 2 years. I knew once I told him there was no turning back. I'm still tapering and it's so hard. I wish I could go to rehab, but I have no insurance.

Freedom1990

The discomfort is just that, discomfort.

When I went in for a hernia repair, it turned out to be more than a simple repair, and I was sent home with percocet. Never again. The worst part was feeling like I was going to come out of my skin, mild panic attacks, being out of synch with everything around me.

I called my sponsor a lot, and stepped up my meeting attendance.

Angelic17

I totally understand what your going through, and where your coming from. Don't worry that it will take a year to feel better, because everyone is different. It might not take you that long. You might not even feel bad at all. When I was going through it, I just felt tired, and weak. I was very unmotivated. Everything was an effort for me. I kind of just dragged through the day. Eventhough, I was basically feeling pretty good.

It was a couple of years later when I realized that at that point I wasn't perfectly normal yet. I too hid my addiction from my husband. It is the only thing I have ever kept from him. He still to this day doesn't know that I had that problem. I never wanted to tell him because he is so good, and didn't deserve an addict for a wife. My husband and son were the two main reasons that I wanted off of drugs. Ofcourse I did it for myself, but I wanted to be a good wife and mother. I felt my family deserved better. I'm sorry for saying that I wasn't feeling so great for a year. It's a known fact that opiate addiction takes between a year and two years for the brain to go back to normal. The good news is that it does go back to normal. Fight for your sobriety. It will be the best gift you can give to yourself, and your family. I'm sending you blessings, and a hug of support.

help2ndtime

It's getting easier to get going in the morning without taking a perc right off. I'm still feeling very lethargic, heavy. I'm not completely clean yet, still tapering, but not giving in to temptations. Actually kind of proud of myself. Never say myself getting this far. Still a ways to go, but I'm on the road to pure sobriety! (and excited about it)!

Kyomi

I understand what you're going through... I'm 8 days clean off of 120 mg of morphine extended release and up to 20 a day of 10/325 percs... Basically anywhere from 100-200mg of oxycodone a day.... It does get easier. I did a taper as well. I still had some withdrawal symptoms, but they weren't horrible. My main problem is controlling my body temp... It does get easier every day! Good luck

Angelic17

Help2ndtime, I'm glad to hear your tapering, but tapering and being totally clean are two different feelings. It's good to taper so your body doesn't get shocked. I tapered too. Like Kyomi, When I stopped using opiates I had problems with my body temperature too. I was hot and sweating, or cold and freezing. I couldn't get comfortable in my own skin. I had some anxiety, and that was the worst for me. I dragged myself around for about the first 6 months. I didn't want to give up my clean time so I wouldn't take a pill. The first year is really tough, because my brain kept telling me to go and get the drugs. Now I am almost 6 years clean. I feel better now, than I ever did on opiates. That's for sure. It's good not to need a drug. Your brain heals, if you let it. Most people don't have the patience to wait it out, and they relapse. Help2nd time, the real test is when your not taking any opiates at all. Then you might feel a bit of discomfort, and maybe you wont. Everyone is different. When your done tapering, If you have the desire to use, DON'T. Keep in mind that whatever your feeling will pass. Drink alot of water, Drink chammomile to help you sleep. Stay away from your triggers. I will be here waiting to hear your progress. GOD BLESS YOU. Be strong and fight.

thejuiceman

Stay Strong! I am on day 9 of perk withdrawal. Feeling good finally!

Angelic17

Congratulations on 9 days Juiceman. I remember being there. Be proud of yourself, and don't ever let your guard down. Addiction creeps up on us, like a snake in the grass.

Ollie909

Thank you Angelic17 and helpful2ndtime and everyone else's comments on this brain disease. I've been clean a while since Nov. from the percocets. But your so right in the time of healing. I still get up and think of perc like a cup of coffee. But just don't listen to your brain and this takes a while. I appreciate that info. This is a rough one. Really have to try real hard. Just don't and keep don'ting. God Bless