Clean4ever

Growing up the youngest of four in an alcoholic home wasnt any fun. Today as a 43 year old man Im really feeling the after effects of an abusive household. Im trying my best to stay away from blaming, Im also understanding that Isolation and silience was the best way to cope with the madness and violence.but today Im stepping out back into life. Trying to trust and feel my feelings....I no longer have to be afraid and hide. I can feel again and not deny what Ive been through...Today its okay to speak up and be counted as a human with faults. God help me with these imperfections....

dollydo

I don't call it "imperfections" I call it "being human", yes, we are entitled to have faults. We have a voice and we need to use it.

Wascally Wabbit

I remember those times. I always hid somewhere. I lived in fear of everything. Some of those fears became reality. By the grace of God, I am still alive. I am always trying to find ways to cope and find peace. For the most part I can. I do have rough patches and that's when I come here.
Growing up with the most hateful spiteful mother who still to this day at 80 yrs old, continues to belittle me. I limit my contact.
I hope you find comfort here. I sure do.

GingerM

When I catch myself being harsh on myself for being imperfect, I say (usually out loud) "I am human. Humans are not perfect. I grant myself permission to experience all aspects of being human, including making mistakes at times. It would be creepy if I was perfect."

I have to say it out loud because it doesn't carry as much weight if I only say it in my head. And if you really try to visualize a truly "perfect" person, wouldn't they be really creepy? They'd be a little too Stepford Wives I think.

tromboneliness

It would also be pretty dull! I'm a bowler, and although I'd like to be as good as I can, being perfect would be great for a week or two, but no more. "OK, here's Trombone Boy, time for another 300 game; ho-hum!" After a few weeks of that, no one would bowl with you anymore! Who wants that?

T

EveningRose

Isn't it amazing how it takes us years to realize what might be obvious to someone looking in from the outside. In my 40's, I'm just beginning to understand that it's obvious why I was introverted. As you say, silence and staying out of the way were safer. I, too, have had to learn to trust my gut and my feelings.

Clean4ever

Thanks for sharing that Evening...Yes what Ive been learning in my 40's people learned in their teens or twenties...My Nephew is a great example of this..He does stuff and I ask him where he learn that....He says I just knew...I learned about assertiveness from a book {Your Perfect Right By. Dr.Robert Alberti & Dr. Michael Emmons} just this year...He learned it from living life...He says if you dont assert yourself people will take advantage of you and he is absolutely right. I also need to be gentle with myself. We all grow in different ways. I guess thats whats its like being human...Thanks Clean