New and just figuring all this out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 316
New and just figuring all this out
Hey everyone,
I'm a 20-year-old woman and I'm new to SR. I'm an alcoholic trying to get sober while in college. 13 days so far! I also have bipolar II, which is part of the reason I'm trying to get sober so young.
One of my other reasons is my father. He's a very highly functional alcoholic and has been for many years. He goes back and forth between saying he has a problem, saying he doesn't, saying he's quitting, saying he doesn't need to and so he's not. He went to AA once or twice and said he "wasn't as bad as the people there" so he didn't go back. Looking past the very successful career and the good father that he's been to me, I can see the truth all too well. I'm somehow the only one who completely missed my family's talent for denial!
I feel guilty that I'm affected by my dad's alcoholism because he's always provided for me so well financially and done the best he could to be there for me emotionally. We're so similar that we often don't get along. It's like looking into a mirror, and when neither of you want to look at yourself, it can get ugly. I'm his only child.
I thought every adult drank like my dad did until middle school when we started learning about drugs and alcohol. I was confused. I thought about his behavior and briefly decided he did cocaine. I never thought alcohol could be to blame until he left my mom when I was 13 and told me he was an alcoholic. I didn't find out that both of my mom's parents are alcoholics until 2 weeks after I turned 18, when I was facing expulsion from college for my drinking. I somehow talked my way out of expulsion-- multiple times-- but I wish I had found out how genetically vulnerable I was at a younger age.
I'm sure my family would tell me I'm being too sensitive for saying all of this! But I recognize so many of the ACoA traits in myself that I can't help but think I belong here.
I'm a 20-year-old woman and I'm new to SR. I'm an alcoholic trying to get sober while in college. 13 days so far! I also have bipolar II, which is part of the reason I'm trying to get sober so young.
One of my other reasons is my father. He's a very highly functional alcoholic and has been for many years. He goes back and forth between saying he has a problem, saying he doesn't, saying he's quitting, saying he doesn't need to and so he's not. He went to AA once or twice and said he "wasn't as bad as the people there" so he didn't go back. Looking past the very successful career and the good father that he's been to me, I can see the truth all too well. I'm somehow the only one who completely missed my family's talent for denial!
I feel guilty that I'm affected by my dad's alcoholism because he's always provided for me so well financially and done the best he could to be there for me emotionally. We're so similar that we often don't get along. It's like looking into a mirror, and when neither of you want to look at yourself, it can get ugly. I'm his only child.
I thought every adult drank like my dad did until middle school when we started learning about drugs and alcohol. I was confused. I thought about his behavior and briefly decided he did cocaine. I never thought alcohol could be to blame until he left my mom when I was 13 and told me he was an alcoholic. I didn't find out that both of my mom's parents are alcoholics until 2 weeks after I turned 18, when I was facing expulsion from college for my drinking. I somehow talked my way out of expulsion-- multiple times-- but I wish I had found out how genetically vulnerable I was at a younger age.
I'm sure my family would tell me I'm being too sensitive for saying all of this! But I recognize so many of the ACoA traits in myself that I can't help but think I belong here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
Welcome to SR.
It sounds as if you're beginning to see the tip of the iceberg of the family dysfunction. It's very good that you are able to see it - I often wonder if what some refer to as "denial" is actually an inability to see (denial would mean they know but refuse to believe, inability to see would simply be blindness and unintentional). Either way, that you can see and are seeing is the first step.
I went dry after my second year in college (I was 20 also). I started drinking again after graduation (huge life transition), but within a year had gone sober again. You can do this.
We're here for whatever support you need.
It sounds as if you're beginning to see the tip of the iceberg of the family dysfunction. It's very good that you are able to see it - I often wonder if what some refer to as "denial" is actually an inability to see (denial would mean they know but refuse to believe, inability to see would simply be blindness and unintentional). Either way, that you can see and are seeing is the first step.
I went dry after my second year in college (I was 20 also). I started drinking again after graduation (huge life transition), but within a year had gone sober again. You can do this.
We're here for whatever support you need.
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