SlvrMag

I have been feeling so empty inside for over a week.

I don't know why, my life is great. I have no reason to feel this way.

I did lose a friend last week, but I think I'm dealing with that ok, this feeling was there before though.

It's not my normal pre-menstrual "bummed out-ness".

I have been on Welbutrin for 3 months, but that is for quitting the cigs.
I'm gonna go see the Dr. but feel I should wait another week or two???

I am in love with a wonderful man.
My 9 year old son is here with me for the school year and that is awesome, but still...something inside feels "missing".
Maybe I am still figuring out who I am. I've only been clean a little over two years (not counting a 2 week relapse which I bounced back quickly from)
so maybe I'm ready to find out more about me.

My therapist says I am incredibly self-aware.
I think I am too self aware. I am always analizing every damn thing I feel.

I have also been diagnosed with ADD. Maybe it's related to that.

We'll see I suppose.

Sorry for the rambling!

Live

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

I've no idea what it may be. I have noticed a few people that I know have a bit of a rough turn with the onset of autumn. sort of a seasonal thing.

I am sure you will work it out.
for now just (((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

shegirl

just hang in the sweetie, it will work out, and things will start looking up again, I promise. xoxoxo

joey8262

s.a.d-seasonal effective disorder-or winter blues-google it-personally i love winter cos you know xmas and the happy days are coming-but just look into it-and sorry on the loss of your friend.

also look here http://www.sada.org.uk/symptoms-of-SAD.html to see if any of the symptoms match to the way you're feeling.

john

SlvrMag

Thank you


Can a person still suffer from this seasonal sadness if they love the weather and the season? Doesn't make sense to me, but I can't make sense of anything right now.

Live

yeah,....I love autumn and it still can get to me.

All year round it is important and very beneficial to me to get at least an hour's sunlight a day.

Might also consider a supplement of vitamin D.
It's the "feel good" vitamin...just don't overdo it....LOL

SlvrMag

I'll try Vitamin D.

I hear B12 is good too?

Live

yes, but even moreso they are finding that fish oil helps.

But definitely try the vitamin D

just to anyone who reads this tho'...I feel a responsibilty to inform that too much D is toxic.

SlvrMag

I was hoping I would magically feel great today, no such luck.
I have to work all day, but I just want to go to bed and stay there.

Ugh. =(

Dee74

Have you seen the Dr yet SlvrMag?
There could also be any number of physical reasons at play here.

I do hope you feel better soon tho

D

SlvrMag

I can't make the appt 'til Monday.

I am going for sure though, for a number of reasons.

I hate this.

SlvrMag

Nothing has changed. I feel I have plumeted (sp?) into this dark hole.

WTF is wrong with me? I've NEVER felt this down before.

I have made a Dr. appt but it's in mid-November. *Sigh*

Live

deperssion.

the best things I can do for myself when waiting for an appmt..as I have in the past and am now but not because of depression..anyway

sunllight and enough excercise of any kind to get my heart rate up and blood flowing.

Freedom1990

I understand completely.

My depression has been steadily getting worse.

It's difficult because I don't know if the Cymbalta is no longer effective, if it's the increased pain level I'm experiencing with my degenerative disc disease, or both.

The pain is also breaking through during the night, which the mirtazapine usually helps me sleep, but it's not working.

Lack of good sleep increases my depression.

Ugh.

Sending you hugs on the Kansas winds, dear!

Bamboozle

Take care, SlvrMag, and keep hanging on.

Live

do you have a pet to wuzzle with?

Zencat

I think that's the deal with depression, it can come out of the blue for no apparent reason. It works like that for me. Everything is good in my life except I feel like crawling under a rock and wishing I would just fade away.

I know that I have to keep my mental health treatments up even tho I have no desire to do so when depressed. I know for me that my depression comes and goes in cycles. So I just keep plugging away at life no matter what.

keepinon

Hang in there..the dr. can swith or increase your meds..sometimes it can take a while to find a good fit..Personally I am a Lexapro gal myself! The excercise and sun thing that live talked about is really necissary.My doc told me walking around our local lake is great because you get excercise sun, and the relected light off the water. Maybe also be gentle with yourself and be extra good..lots of water,fresh fruits,veggies, and enough sleep. This too shall pass....

SlvrMag

Thanks so much for responding everybody. I also had something happen to me that I thought would NEVER happen. I was sitting on the couch watching tv when out of nowhere my heart started pounding and this fear came over me. The fear seemed equal to my house being on fire and my children were inside. I had to tell myself, out loud, that everything was fine. I looked around the house and all was fine.

That lasted only about 15 seconds, but it was real. And it was scary.
My friend, who suffers from frequent anxiety attacks, said that is what she feels like, only it lasts longer.

I'm gonna mention that to the Doc too.




I have a very cute hampster that likes to bite your fingers when you hold her...so, no

I wish I had a kitty again, but that's not gonna happen for a while.

SlvrMag

I've also been daydreaming on how good it would feel to get high again...

I'm not going to, but I recognize that my stupid "addict voice" may be taking advantage of my recent depression, saying things like "You'd feel good again if you'd just get high".

I know that is bull$*it and I'm not falling for it.