pinkgurl87

I'm falling apart. I'm so stressed. Thinking of dropping a course to help the stress load. I have a headache. I have had issues with self harm and purging. I did bad on a midterm and wanted to get high, I probably would have but no one was around that I could get drugs off of, I've been out of the loop for so long now I'm not even sure how to get drugs again. Which is probably a good thing, but my brain doesn't like it. I feel like a failure. I feel so alone. I talked to my CSD ( Center for Students with Disabilities) adviser today, I think we agreed dropping the course would be the best thing, but I'm wasting so much money because i don't get money back and it's stupid because if I kept 4 courses I would only have to pay for 4 because of this form but since I'm dropping down to 3 I have to pay for five courses because I dropped down and the 4 course form doesn't count it doesn't make any sense. I feel like such a failure. I wanted to do 4 courses so I could graduate next year but I can't seem to handle it. I had mental health problems, I've been so depressed, and tired and want to sleep all the time. Their checking my blood sugar because it was high last time, probably due to seroquel. Like really is the meds actually helping or making stuff worse. I didn't take my meds one night and I was way more awake but then I couldn't sleep that night. Meds also made me fat, I am a gigantic person it's so gross, stupid psyc meds. I don't know what to do I'm so stressed. sigh..

Isaiah

Have you ever received any therapy with tricks for lessening the stress? I have some that I could post here if you think that would be helpful. It's kind of basic, almost self-evident stuff, but I find that having a visual list to look at makes it easier to go about doing something to bring the tension down.

It's always a good idea to speak to your provider if you think the medication isn't doing what it should. In my own case, Seroquel did me more harm than good. But the only reason I got taken off was because I was having more symptoms on it that it was meant to treat than I had before I went on it and I was honestly able to relate that to my psych.

pinkgurl87

I've done basic stress stuff but I tend to forget them or not use them. I'm tired . I dropped my course hope I made the right decision. Have to pay a bunch of money for the course so it;'s stupid but I get 20% back which is like nothing but better then nothing, and my loan will probably make me pay it back. It's stupid but oh well. I guess I'm just a failure. I can;t perform like normal people can I can only handle 3 courses most people do five.

Live

When I was over-stressed I also dropped a class. It certainly isn't the end of the world or a failure, it is managing our energies according to our abilities.

I was out on an oval walk track with a friend one time and he made it into a metaphor for life that I have always appreciated.

He told me that he runs in the straight parts and slows down for curves.

You are just slowing down for the curve in life right now and that is the smart thing to do.

Isaiah

I have all my therapy junk in a binder. I forget mine constantly too, even with clever acronyms tied to them. Having the lists to look at has been helpful for me more than a few times. Sometimes there's one thing on it that I'd actually be willing to do that I just couldn't remember on my own.

And one thing my therapist used to tell me over and over when I would stress about not being able to live up to the same standards as other people. She'd say something like, "would you think that a person on crutches was a failure if they can't move as fast as everyone else on a sidewalk?" And of course I'd have to answer no.

Then came the reminder that I have an illness. And I ought to treat myself with the same sort of patience I'd expect for people with physical handicaps and illnesses. It's hard to do because mental illness is invisible to the eyes and the illness itself is telling you you're worthless, but you're not, pinkgurl. Neither am I, no matter how many times I tell myself the very same sorts of things you've said.