acdirito

I just brawled my eyes out more than I have for a very very long time. My 23 year old daughter completed suicide on May 16, 1995. She suffered from schizophrenia. It took me ten years, and two hospitalization for my grief and major depression before I was able to accept my daughter's death. I was prescribed anti-depressants and sleeping pills. My dry drunk husband and I raised her son ever since birth. He now is 19 years old and has become a handful. I'm afraid he might have inherited some of her traits. He needs to have, at least, anger management therapy. He's been breaking all the house rules. He took off and spent the last two days with friends of his. We didn't know where he was and he never bothered to call us. Well, we had a confrontation with him when he got back home. Needless to say it wasn't a pretty picture. He basically accused us of killing his mother, and that his life would have been so much better if she had lived. He never really knew her. As much as I loved her, we would have raised him even if she had survived. I did the very best I could being his mother, and it just hurts that now he has this much animosity towards us. I don't think he realizes the consequences of his actions. Right now I feel like he hasn't just lost one mother, but two. I raised him as my own son. I called him my son and he called me mom. Just call me grandma from now on!

Morning Glory

My children's father committed suicide when they were very young. My son says the same thing to me whenever he drinks. A lot of it is manipulation even though I know he hasn't processed the abandonment yet. He makes his father the hero and me the villain. It also took me 10 years and 2 hospitalizations to work through my husband's suicide and it created many problems for my son. My daughter handled it all much better than my son.

I've cried many tears wishing that someone could help me with my son, but it boils down to him having to help himself. My problems with him started when he was 18. I learned to set good boundaries with him and not talk to him when he is blaming me for his problems. I just went a year without seeing him at all due to his behavior. I would only speak to him on the phone.

Perhaps its time for your grandson to move out on his own. He is an adult now and probably wants more freedom. With freedom comes responsibility. It might be a goal to work toward.

I'm sorry you are hurting and know what a burden it can all be.

Lots of hugs