LaFemme

Ok...so towards the end of my drinking career I dropped the ball on a couple commissions. I didn't take deposits for them, which I should have, but agreed to do them and did the preliminary work. However i was still drinking and unable to complete the projects. Now I need to contact these people and fulfill my obligations...its part of being sober and being a grown up.

I'm not sure what to say...or how to approach it. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated. Oh and I basically dodged their calls before...that was how I dealt with it.
Thanks

Fandy

"hello mr. whatisface, this is leFemme calling. I'm sorry i have not been in contact with you, i had been seriously ill. i am doing well now and back to work...I would like to complete XYZ project for you and offer you a 25% discount in good faith for your patience".

you don't have to go into too much detail? would this work for you?

Murray4x5

That's about the way I'd handle it too. I'd toss in an "I'm sorry, I know it's not an acceptable reason for not getting back to you, but I'd really like to have the opportunity to set things right."

There probably is no way to figure it out until you make the call, or set up the face to face appointment. I think your honest regret in not following through will win them over, but I think you're going to have to figure out what to say based on their response.

You got guts...good for you!

Murray

LaFemme

I like the discount idea...one of the pieces was a charity piece so I can't offer a discount, they have already paid in full...just not to me. I know, I just have to suck up and deal...Im strange...I love a good debate but avoid an arguement like the plague.

Thanks so much for your advice and support guys!

oak

I like what others suggested. Ultimately, you can set things right for yourself and make the offer to finish the work. Then, it's up to them what they want to do. But you will have cleaned up your side.

I hate conflict and avoid it often. I am impressed that you plan to contact them. You'll probably feel so much better once you make the calls.

I also let lots of things slip at the end of drinking. It happens.

LaFemme

Oak...I kind of feel I have to contact them...the only alternative is to drink myself into oblivion in order to try to forget, which ain't going to happen. Also on my face the music agenda is paying up bills...that's going to take awhile to clear up...ugh....the only way I can feel better about the big old mess my life is, is by reminding myself I didn't get in this hole overnight so its going to take awhile to get out of it as well.

When I drank I thought all my problems would go away if I got sober...they didn't but at least I can deal with them now!

recycle

LaF, I am doing a lot of this right now with clients and colleagues.Before you contact them have a little heart to heart with yourself. What that person thinks about you does not define what you think about yourself. Not in an arrogant "I don't give a sh!t what you think" sorta way, but in a confident sincere way at admitting your flaws and seeing if they still wish to have you complete the work. You are doing this for you, as much as for them.

Not to be contrary, but I would not offer a discount. Discounts do not make up for poor service. Think about the last time someone was rude or unprofessional to you, would you feel better about the experience if they gave you money? Your work is worth what it is worth.

Fandy

I always tend to feel more at peace when I pay my bills too, it takes me to the "everything is OK" place, bills are paid, nothing hanging over my head.

i think that is why i put the previous booze $$ towards my mortgage principal, it is something I can see every month when i get the statement.

i think you are doing very well at putting your sober house in order. and you are correct, it doesn't happen over night, but you can chart your progress too.

leo21

I wrote this several times before since I started posting. I figured if it took me 5 years to make a mess of things, it might take me 5 years to get it all cleaned back up. And guess what, I'm cool with that. As a matter of fact, it was absolutely necessary (as a piece of recovery) for me to go toe-to-toe with that train of thought or I would likely fail and drink.