Any addicts who have a BPD?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 20
Any addicts who have a BPD?
Hello all...I posted here about a month ago about my AS. She recently moved 1500 miles to live 3 miles away from me and since day one lied about her sobriety, and did nothing to improve her already screwed up life!
Well, she ended up taking 64 otc sleep aids in a suicide attempt that was almost successful and since then has been hospitalized (a month now) at the state mental hospital. She was initially diagnosed as schizophrenic at the private hospital that treated her for the suicide, but now has been diagnosed as having a Dependent Personality Disorder which is considered one of the many Borderline Personality Disorders that exist.
Just wondering if anyone here is struggling with recovery and a mental illness such as DPD or another BPD?
Well, she ended up taking 64 otc sleep aids in a suicide attempt that was almost successful and since then has been hospitalized (a month now) at the state mental hospital. She was initially diagnosed as schizophrenic at the private hospital that treated her for the suicide, but now has been diagnosed as having a Dependent Personality Disorder which is considered one of the many Borderline Personality Disorders that exist.
Just wondering if anyone here is struggling with recovery and a mental illness such as DPD or another BPD?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Although I don't have BPD, I do have mental illness. Recovery is possible, even with mental illness in the mix.
I address my addictions/alcoholism through 12 step programs, and I address my mental health issues through professionals in the field. I see a psychiatrist every 3 months to evaluate where I am at in general, if medications need to be adjusted/changed, etc.
I am also in therapy again, which I have done off and on over the years in recovery when I have needed it.
How are you doing in the self-care department? Don't forget to be good to yourself, okay? It's easy to get lost in a loved one's addiction and forget about ourselves.
I address my addictions/alcoholism through 12 step programs, and I address my mental health issues through professionals in the field. I see a psychiatrist every 3 months to evaluate where I am at in general, if medications need to be adjusted/changed, etc.
I am also in therapy again, which I have done off and on over the years in recovery when I have needed it.
How are you doing in the self-care department? Don't forget to be good to yourself, okay? It's easy to get lost in a loved one's addiction and forget about ourselves.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 20
Freedom, good for you! I am glad you are actively seeking out help for your problems. Too many people don't want to admit they have addictions or mental illnesses. I lived with my mother who was ashamed she was bi-polar in the 80's and to this day she never admitted it.
I think so many people would be happier if they'd just say they have a problem and need help. I am seeing a counselor to help me work through all of this and to see where my sister fits into my life...if at all! Thanks for your concern.
I think so many people would be happier if they'd just say they have a problem and need help. I am seeing a counselor to help me work through all of this and to see where my sister fits into my life...if at all! Thanks for your concern.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
That is wonderful you are seeing a counselor, and good for you!
I came from a family where you didn't 'air your dirty' laundry, so my mental illness went untreated till I hit a bottom in my addictions. I actually had an uncle who was in and out of mental institutions for years, but we didn't talk about that in the home. It was a few years into recovery that I was diagnosed.
Please stick around SR and continue to post. I'm glad you're here.
I came from a family where you didn't 'air your dirty' laundry, so my mental illness went untreated till I hit a bottom in my addictions. I actually had an uncle who was in and out of mental institutions for years, but we didn't talk about that in the home. It was a few years into recovery that I was diagnosed.
Please stick around SR and continue to post. I'm glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Can
Posts: 79
Hi Black!
My wife has been diagnosed with depression and BPD tendencies. We're both alcoholics. I addition to SR, you may want to check out Borderline Personality Disorder - Support group for families and relationship partners which has a huge amount of good info and a very supportive community complete with message board. To view some areas, you need to register which is free.
I don't have advice for you but I empathize with the chaos you must endure at times.
My wife has been diagnosed with depression and BPD tendencies. We're both alcoholics. I addition to SR, you may want to check out Borderline Personality Disorder - Support group for families and relationship partners which has a huge amount of good info and a very supportive community complete with message board. To view some areas, you need to register which is free.
I don't have advice for you but I empathize with the chaos you must endure at times.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,899
Originally Posted by Blackkat 
I think so many people would be happier if they'd just say they have a problem and need help. I am seeing a counselor to help me work through all of this and to see where my sister fits into my life...if at all! Thanks for your concern.
I wish you and your sister well. This is probability going to be the most intensive time in your life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I have borderline PD....it is treatable. I expect to have a happy joyfilled life. almost everyone has something that causes them problems...this just happens to be mine.
I have therapy, take medication, and am functioning well in my life and relationships....well...i'm functioning as well as anyone else i know...even those without BPD or other ilnesses
I have therapy, take medication, and am functioning well in my life and relationships....well...i'm functioning as well as anyone else i know...even those without BPD or other ilnesses
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Originally Posted by ananda
I have borderline PD....it is treatable. I expect to have a happy joyfilled life. almost everyone has something that causes them problems...this just happens to be mine.
I have therapy, take medication, and am functioning well in my life and relationships....well...i'm functioning as well as anyone else i know...even those without BPD or other ilnesses
I have therapy, take medication, and am functioning well in my life and relationships....well...i'm functioning as well as anyone else i know...even those without BPD or other ilnesses
thank you, for posting this. it makes me see that health and recovery is as much attitude as anything else.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
should have been a new thread- sorry:(
I have been here for a few weeks, trying to learn, from reading posts from all areas.
It is about my son. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I cannot figure how to know whether he has a mental disorder, or addictive or both. I am thinking it is both. He went to two psychiatrists, one said bipolar, one said situational depression. the first one gave a quick, 25 minute diagnosis. the other 1 1/2 hours. I think my son was hoping for some relief from his distressing life. he has no job, lost his girl a year ago, is living with me (38 yrs old) has no car, no license, has fines, due to bad choices. was homeless in his car and got caught with a pipe of pot, a birthday present, and a beer which was in the back and opened, but being saved for later.
my son seems to be not accepting of rules. he feels that life shoudl be as he would treat others. it is not that way. the law is not negotiable, usually. he feels if he is homeless, and not bothering any one, why is it wrong to have a pipe of pot, which was a birthday gift from some friend. He would not hurt a fly-but is not going forward, only backward.
he has had about 12 jobs in the last 5 years, none lasting more than a few weeks. one lasted a few months, but he would drink, and call in to work. it was his first job with goodmoney ,and his girl, who i never met, would always be around for him to spend money on. and he felt that he was her night in shining armor, when he had money.
she is gone, moved away, to live at home. he is so broken about it. i took him in , and say he cannot drink, while here. i know that if he had money he would want to.
he went to the doctor, and found that he needs surgery on his sinus, and is mad that none of the doctors, except for one, would rx any pain meds, for his discomfort.
i have always seen things in black and white, so i worry that he is only seeking meds. maybe not, but maybe so. how do we know, for sure?
I am alone in helping him. his dad is miles away, and his wife does not want to be bothered- fear of having to spend a dime. i have gotten him evaluated, appts for his sinus, and got financial aid approved. take my days off to take him to the docs. in my disfunctional way, i try to help. to understand. to encourage. i feel that i cannot do it alone. how do you get someone help, if they do not think they need it? he says that anyone who had his problems would be depressed, and angry. He has fines he cannot pay, there are not many jobs close enough to us. he got a job at mc donalds, and quit after two days, he cannot take any stress. i think he cannot bear feeling stupid, or inadequate, so he could not make him self work with kids half his age.
i feel he has lost so much. he must not feel like a man, and living with mom must make it worse, but what can he do? he has burnt his friends, by staying with them and not being able to job hunt. i know it may seem like he is lazy, but he is not. i feel very strongly that he is totally dreading any more failure. and cannot bear any more rejection. that he cannot bear having to ride a bike to a job, when most men his age have a car , a home and family.
he stays in his room and is on the computer. he says that his sinus has made him miseralbe and unable to focus on anything much for years. at least the cat scan showed a problem and he is scheduled for surgery on it.
what do you do, when you feel someone needs mental help, of some kind, and they wont listen to you? it hurts his pride, and he feels very insulted. but all of the family feels that there is something wrong, we dont know what. ADHD seems to be the most close to his personality. If someone offered him help- antidepressants, beer, pot or pills, for his problems, he'd take the pot. he feels it helps him with the stress he is under. he has no access to it here, and i will not allow it, for it is illegal.
i feel badly, that this man has only his mom, and I feel like it hurts him more, and that he needs to be out of here, but what would happen? I dont want to be free of the responsibility, but i want the best for him.
i am sorry about this disjointed post. i am pretty sure that i have adhd myself, from all i am reading.
thank you , for any ideas, or insights. i am sure that this post is going to look pathetic to a lot of folks. it is not always so easy to put someone out on the street. perhaps they are not mentally responsible for their situation.
It is about my son. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I cannot figure how to know whether he has a mental disorder, or addictive or both. I am thinking it is both. He went to two psychiatrists, one said bipolar, one said situational depression. the first one gave a quick, 25 minute diagnosis. the other 1 1/2 hours. I think my son was hoping for some relief from his distressing life. he has no job, lost his girl a year ago, is living with me (38 yrs old) has no car, no license, has fines, due to bad choices. was homeless in his car and got caught with a pipe of pot, a birthday present, and a beer which was in the back and opened, but being saved for later.
my son seems to be not accepting of rules. he feels that life shoudl be as he would treat others. it is not that way. the law is not negotiable, usually. he feels if he is homeless, and not bothering any one, why is it wrong to have a pipe of pot, which was a birthday gift from some friend. He would not hurt a fly-but is not going forward, only backward.
he has had about 12 jobs in the last 5 years, none lasting more than a few weeks. one lasted a few months, but he would drink, and call in to work. it was his first job with goodmoney ,and his girl, who i never met, would always be around for him to spend money on. and he felt that he was her night in shining armor, when he had money.
she is gone, moved away, to live at home. he is so broken about it. i took him in , and say he cannot drink, while here. i know that if he had money he would want to.
he went to the doctor, and found that he needs surgery on his sinus, and is mad that none of the doctors, except for one, would rx any pain meds, for his discomfort.
i have always seen things in black and white, so i worry that he is only seeking meds. maybe not, but maybe so. how do we know, for sure?
I am alone in helping him. his dad is miles away, and his wife does not want to be bothered- fear of having to spend a dime. i have gotten him evaluated, appts for his sinus, and got financial aid approved. take my days off to take him to the docs. in my disfunctional way, i try to help. to understand. to encourage. i feel that i cannot do it alone. how do you get someone help, if they do not think they need it? he says that anyone who had his problems would be depressed, and angry. He has fines he cannot pay, there are not many jobs close enough to us. he got a job at mc donalds, and quit after two days, he cannot take any stress. i think he cannot bear feeling stupid, or inadequate, so he could not make him self work with kids half his age.
i feel he has lost so much. he must not feel like a man, and living with mom must make it worse, but what can he do? he has burnt his friends, by staying with them and not being able to job hunt. i know it may seem like he is lazy, but he is not. i feel very strongly that he is totally dreading any more failure. and cannot bear any more rejection. that he cannot bear having to ride a bike to a job, when most men his age have a car , a home and family.
he stays in his room and is on the computer. he says that his sinus has made him miseralbe and unable to focus on anything much for years. at least the cat scan showed a problem and he is scheduled for surgery on it.
what do you do, when you feel someone needs mental help, of some kind, and they wont listen to you? it hurts his pride, and he feels very insulted. but all of the family feels that there is something wrong, we dont know what. ADHD seems to be the most close to his personality. If someone offered him help- antidepressants, beer, pot or pills, for his problems, he'd take the pot. he feels it helps him with the stress he is under. he has no access to it here, and i will not allow it, for it is illegal.
i feel badly, that this man has only his mom, and I feel like it hurts him more, and that he needs to be out of here, but what would happen? I dont want to be free of the responsibility, but i want the best for him.
i am sorry about this disjointed post. i am pretty sure that i have adhd myself, from all i am reading.
thank you , for any ideas, or insights. i am sure that this post is going to look pathetic to a lot of folks. it is not always so easy to put someone out on the street. perhaps they are not mentally responsible for their situation.
Last edited by chicory; 07-28-2010 at 06:23 PM. Reason: inadvertently hi-jacked someones thread.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,899
When I finally realized that I needed professional help, seeking treatment was my saving grace. Currently I'm seeing a therapist that holds group therapy once a week, going to a day care center tailored to those that have a condition like mine and regular visits to a psychiatrist that oversees my progress.
I glad to live a life beyond my mental illness. Something that I thought wasn't possible when I was untreated and trying to figure things out on my own. There is hope...that's what I believe today, for yesterday I was hopeless and beyond reproach.
I glad to live a life beyond my mental illness. Something that I thought wasn't possible when I was untreated and trying to figure things out on my own. There is hope...that's what I believe today, for yesterday I was hopeless and beyond reproach.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
I have BPD. I am on medications which help with the symptoms, but I still struggle with times when I just stop caring-- about my recovery or anything else. This has been my biggest setback in my recovery. I am learning to rely on my higher power and call on that power when I start to stop caring. I find something to do to gain some gratitude and serenity.
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