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Old 07-09-2010, 11:02 PM
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New to this forum

I am new here. I have been in Al-anon and AA for several years "in real life" and right now do not attend meetings.. I do miss going. I am a military wife and in a new area. Right now I am having a lot of issues around worrying about mainly my father, he is a cocaine addict who also drinks every day and has for at least 30 years..I'm not sure how long he has had the drug addiction and I'm not sure I want to know.... both my parents are addicts of sorts (more than one addiction) ... I have done meetings and many years of therapy, anti-depressants, group therapy, the works! ... I do know that it helps for me to be living away from him. Sad as it is for me to type that, its simply true. I am grateful there is a forum like this.
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Old 07-10-2010, 10:53 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Welcome to our recovery community....

I certainly hope you can find peace with your Dads
situation. Prayers coming your way...
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Old 07-10-2010, 11:36 AM
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Hello someday, and welcome to our corner of Recovery

Originally Posted by someday231 View Post
..... I do miss going. I am a military wife and in a new area. ....
You're always welcome back to the meetings There's no "attendance policy", you can come and go as you need.

Originally Posted by someday231 View Post
.... Right now I am having a lot of issues around worrying about mainly my father ....
It's always difficult when a relative is in the midst of an addiction. I'm glad you've taken care of _you_ thru meetings, and therapy and all that good stuff us ACoA's end up doing.

Originally Posted by someday231 View Post
.... I do know that it helps for me to be living away from him. Sad as it is for me to type that, its simply true.....
I understand. I kept a _big_ distance from my "Family of Origin" and it did me a world of good. You may want to visit our forum "next door", there's a lot of wonderful information there.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome again

Mike
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Old 07-16-2010, 09:23 AM
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Hi someday231, really glad you found us

Originally Posted by someday231 View Post
I have done meetings and many years of therapy, anti-depressants, group therapy, the works! ... I do know that it helps for me to be living away from him. Sad as it is for me to type that, its simply true. I am grateful there is a forum like this.
I too have limited contact with my addict family - I haven't spoken to my alcoholic brother in nearly a year now. (Alcoholic father died many years ago). I can only bear to be in contact with my untreated codependent mother once every 2-3 weeks for about 1-2 hours. It takes me a few hours after seeing her to get out my toolbox and bring myself back to calm, serenity and normality. Yes no contact can be sad but it is also happy in that you are no longer living in the middle of chaos that never stops.

I haven't done ftf meetings but I have read loads & loads, have done anti-depressants and therapy too. I am so grateful to SR - often just reading around brings me peace and stability.

Hope you stay around and do keep posting, IWTHxxx
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Old 08-20-2010, 10:56 AM
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Thank you for the welcome!

I wanted to follow up about my dad, an update.... I wasn't prepared for this...

I have been attending AA meetings for so long to remember the talk of "miracles of AA (and alanon) that happen sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly."

My dad came to visit me and my husband and then my dad and I drove out of town to see family closeby. He told me of some legal trouble he got into (DUI) ... how he has been dealing with the court system for the past six months and been going to AA meetings(required) ... my dad and I talk on the phone every day and I could hear stress and worry in his voice often, but I never guessed it was that. I know many things go on in his life that I do not hear about and that goes along with being an alcoholic and a drug addict. There was one time he said he had cut back on drinking, and that his boss was in town... and really I thought he was just saying that... you know, false hope. There was no way I was going to hold on to that or believe it, especially when after he said that, I would talk to him on the phone and I could tell he had been using or drunk. I can usually tell within a few minutes or right away how much he has been drinking or if he's high. and I hate it.
Trying to stay on what I was writing... the miracles of AA... I never thought my father would attend AA meetings regularly or cut down on his drinking. Which I can tell by what he said, it might possibly have to do with fear and wanting to hold on to his job. We all need a reason or reasons to keep us coming back to AA/Alanon/etc when we are at our worst. He has lost a considerable amount of weight on worrying about his job. I felt bad that he chose not to tell me for several months but I was glad he told me then. He has been driving under the influence for YEARS and I wondered how he ever got away with it. So it is very upsetting... and DUI;s are no miracle really... but he needed to get into AA and I hope he is letting the message in.
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