I'm really worried.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1
I'm really worried.
I think my mom has an alcohol problem. We had a great relationship while I was in high school. Her and my dad fought and it made me sad but now, her relationship with me, my little brother, and my father have gotten horrible. Especially after she's been drinking.
She goes out almost every night or at least has a friend over. And they always seem to drink. I'm never sure how much but she's driven home before. This scares me to death. If she doesn't crash and get hurt or worse, she could get a DUI and lose her job. In this economy, money's tight (especially with me in college.) and her losing her job would mean a lot against the family. I's probably end up dropping out of school.
Whenever I try to talk to her, she gets defensive and tells me I don't know what's going on and that her life is really stressful. She then gets really angry and usually gets mad at my father for "telling me things". I'm a 20 year old though. I can see it fine. From what I've read on the internet, I think she might have alcohol abuse. I don't know what to do. She won't listen when I express my concerns and after she drinks, she can get kind of mean and snap on everyone. (My brother's only 13 and is a real sweet, quiet boy despite being over 6' tall.)
Can anyone let me know if I'm over exaggerating or if they have any ideas how I might be able to reach out to her? Thanks.
She goes out almost every night or at least has a friend over. And they always seem to drink. I'm never sure how much but she's driven home before. This scares me to death. If she doesn't crash and get hurt or worse, she could get a DUI and lose her job. In this economy, money's tight (especially with me in college.) and her losing her job would mean a lot against the family. I's probably end up dropping out of school.
Whenever I try to talk to her, she gets defensive and tells me I don't know what's going on and that her life is really stressful. She then gets really angry and usually gets mad at my father for "telling me things". I'm a 20 year old though. I can see it fine. From what I've read on the internet, I think she might have alcohol abuse. I don't know what to do. She won't listen when I express my concerns and after she drinks, she can get kind of mean and snap on everyone. (My brother's only 13 and is a real sweet, quiet boy despite being over 6' tall.)
Can anyone let me know if I'm over exaggerating or if they have any ideas how I might be able to reach out to her? Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Hi Mango, and I'm glad you found us here at SR.
Neither of my parents are alcoholics, but my dad is an adult child of two alcoholics, both of whom died within a year of each other while he was still in high school.
I am a recovering alcoholic myself.
The thing is, you can't get her to see her problem, hon. Alcoholism is a disease that tells us alcoholics we don't have it! It's called denial.
There is much you can do for yourself however. Check into local Alanon or ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) meetings for yourself. There you will find the support of others who have been where you are at.
Educate yourself on alcoholism.
You might also want to post over in the Friends & Family of Alcoholics forum as there are several who have grown up in alcoholic homes who post there.
The best thing you can do for your mother is to find recovery from the effects of her alcoholism on you.
College should be an exciting time for you, and I understand how hard it is not to worry about your mother.
Again, welcome to SR!
Neither of my parents are alcoholics, but my dad is an adult child of two alcoholics, both of whom died within a year of each other while he was still in high school.
I am a recovering alcoholic myself.
The thing is, you can't get her to see her problem, hon. Alcoholism is a disease that tells us alcoholics we don't have it! It's called denial.
There is much you can do for yourself however. Check into local Alanon or ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) meetings for yourself. There you will find the support of others who have been where you are at.
Educate yourself on alcoholism.
You might also want to post over in the Friends & Family of Alcoholics forum as there are several who have grown up in alcoholic homes who post there.
The best thing you can do for your mother is to find recovery from the effects of her alcoholism on you.
College should be an exciting time for you, and I understand how hard it is not to worry about your mother.
Again, welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 197
Hi there Mangomeow
Welcome to SR
My father was an alcoholic and I am an acao.
Firstly, I don't think your are over-exaggerating and well done you for reaching out for help at age 20
It took me a lot longer - like 25 years longer.
People at Alanon talk about the 3C's of alcoholism:
You didn't cause it
You can't cure it
You cannot control it
It is up to your mother to take ownership of her drinking, no-one can do that for her.
Is there a student counsellor who you could talk to in confidence at your college? There may be ways in which they can help support you both practically and emotionally.
Good luck and do keep posting either here or next door on the Friends and Family forum - there are a lot of wise heads around here,
IWTHxxx
Welcome to SR
My father was an alcoholic and I am an acao.
Firstly, I don't think your are over-exaggerating and well done you for reaching out for help at age 20
It took me a lot longer - like 25 years longer.People at Alanon talk about the 3C's of alcoholism:
You didn't cause it
You can't cure it
You cannot control it
It is up to your mother to take ownership of her drinking, no-one can do that for her.
Is there a student counsellor who you could talk to in confidence at your college? There may be ways in which they can help support you both practically and emotionally.
Good luck and do keep posting either here or next door on the Friends and Family forum - there are a lot of wise heads around here,
IWTHxxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 197
Hi there Mangomeow
Welcome to SR
My father was an alcoholic and I am an acao.
Firstly, I don't think your are over-exaggerating and well done you for reaching out for help at age 20 It took me a lot longer - like 25 years longer.
People at Alanon talk about the 3C's of alcoholism:
I didn't cause it
I can't cure it
I cannot control it
It is up to your mother to take ownership of her drinking, no-one can do that for her.
Is there a student counsellor who you could talk to in confidence at your college? There may be ways in which they can help support you both practically and emotionally.
Good luck and do keep posting either here or next door on the Friends and Family forum - there are a lot of wise heads around here,
IWTHxxx
Welcome to SR
My father was an alcoholic and I am an acao.
Firstly, I don't think your are over-exaggerating and well done you for reaching out for help at age 20
It took me a lot longer - like 25 years longer.People at Alanon talk about the 3C's of alcoholism:
I didn't cause it
I can't cure it
I cannot control it
It is up to your mother to take ownership of her drinking, no-one can do that for her.
Is there a student counsellor who you could talk to in confidence at your college? There may be ways in which they can help support you both practically and emotionally.
Good luck and do keep posting either here or next door on the Friends and Family forum - there are a lot of wise heads around here,
IWTHxxx
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