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Can't seem to kick it:(

Old 05-31-2010, 04:49 PM
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Can't seem to kick it:(

Hello all. I'm currently in a living hell where I go about 28 hours without an opiate and then take a few vicodin. Then I go another 28 hours or so. I just want to stop. I have a wonderful wife and 3 boys. My wife is very supportive. I also am scheduled back at work in the morning I know I can do this. I was clean for years and had a 2 month relapse. Anyway I'm just looking for some support and inspiration.
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Old 05-31-2010, 05:31 PM
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Welcome to SR Videodrone32

I think support is vital in staying clean and you're certainly in the right place for that.
Have you considered face to face support too like counselling, or NA?

I think we're in the fight of our lives...so use anything you can to help get better V.

D
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Old 05-31-2010, 06:01 PM
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I am an NA member for 6 years. I'm familiar with step work and was quite happy living clean. I let my guard down. Stopped praying and now I'm here in this horrible detox. I can't seem to get the energy to even get up. I feel like I
am being a sissy cause I didn't use long and I tapered to a low dose. It's such a horrible feeling. Thnx for moving me to the appropriate forum
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Old 05-31-2010, 06:08 PM
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No worries

You'll find support and inspiration here Videodrone...we're a bit quiet right now due to Memorial Day though.

D
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Old 05-31-2010, 07:18 PM
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Welcome to SR!! It's hard to stay clean but it is possible, get support, go to NA, and go to a doc and get some help. Hugs <3 Hang in their. You can do this!!
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Old 06-01-2010, 12:27 PM
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Thnx for the encouragement. I'm about 27 hours away from the last time I dosed. I'm taking it one minute at a time right now. I know if I can just make it through another 48 hours or so I'll feel a little relief. I pray alot right now and cry. I have so much to live for and Im sick of living like this. I know how clean living feels and it's much better than this. Please pray for me and please someone post some words of encouragement.
There's hope inbetween the dreams-JJ.
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Old 06-01-2010, 12:39 PM
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Videodrone32:

Hang in there. From what you've already said here, you know what to do and what to expect!!! I've been off and on the opiates myself. The last four years was due to one injury of a sorts or surgery of a sorts. But I always had the desire to get off of them AGAIN at one point or another. I'm a 80% disabled veteran with 22 yrs in the Army. I've been taking Aleve and Midol for my pain. Together they do a pretty good job of relieving the painful areas. And all my female parts were removed over a year ago. I take the Midol for my back pain.

You've tricked your mind and body into enjoying the old love affair with the opiates again. As addicts! WE CAN NEVER TAKE THEM AGAIN. Our mind and body NEVER forgets that love affair. As you have found out! No matter how long we've stayed off our DOC it will consume us like a flame if we ever start taking it again. It gets worse with each time it happens. And it takes more and more quicker to reach that high of feeling good we so love.

I have over 130 days clean this go round. Do I still wish I could take a pain pill like a normal user? YES! But I know where it would lead me. Just one pill would send me into a spinning world of wanting more and more. So I don't take any. I love myself more clean, than I do strung out on pain meds. I get way more done and have more energy. I laugh more, enjoy being around people a whole lot more too.

Put the pills in a burn pile and walk away. You'll be back to your better person before you know it.

Good luck to ya. Let your family love you for being clean and happy. Not doped up and unhappy!
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Old 06-01-2010, 12:57 PM
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Thank you for your kind words. Anyone reading please pray for me. If I can make it through the night I'll be past the point I keep relapsing. Love to all. On a side note the new Jack Johnson album is out. Good stuff. Music is as good as many medicines. Love to all.
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Old 06-01-2010, 01:57 PM
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Yes I've cut of every way and means to get more. I'm also going to a meeting tonight to recommit to NA. I just wanna stay clean. I just feel so ******
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:20 PM
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Hi Videodrone32.

I know it can be very difficult to get a start on recovery. Keep at it...as you know the cravings will lessen as you gather in more clean time. Glad to have you here at SR...you can do this .
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:32 PM
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Thanks. It's hard to tell what's physical and what's mental. I'm just so uncomftorable in my own skin. I'm trying to take it as it comes. It's just super hard.
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:37 PM
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Go check out the post I put on SR. It came from another site on SR.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ne-addict.html
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:46 PM
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Hi Videodrone32:

Was there a medical reason you started taking the opiates again? Or! Was it you thought you could take the opiates for a little bit of feel good, not thinking you'd get back to where you are now? Since you had so much time off of them?
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Old 06-01-2010, 03:17 PM
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You can do it Videodrone. I did it, and I was taking 25-30 Vicodins a day. It's tough at first, but a trip to your doctor might help. If you tell him your situation, he might be able to give you something like suboxone to help you with the withdrawal symptoms. You will feel normal in your own skin for the first few days, and then off the suboxone gradually. If you need some info just visit my page or send a pm. I now have 5 years clean from the opiates. Hang in there. Lots of love and support here on this site. We are all in this together.
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Old 06-01-2010, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Videodrone32 View Post
Yes I've cut of every way and means to get more. I'm also going to a meeting tonight to recommit to NA. I just wanna stay clean. I just feel so ******
Tomorrow without will be a little better, and so on. Glad to hear you're going to a meeting and especially recommitting to your program. Don't look now, but the miracle HAS already happened. God Bless
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:57 PM
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Hey everyone. Thanks for the posts I went a meeting and got a white key tag. I also jogged a little. Try to get my body working right. Well it's off to try TRY to sleep. Gonna try back to work tomorow. Feeling slightly better. Peace and love. Oh to answer the above question. I used recreationally.
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Old 06-02-2010, 04:59 AM
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hope you are feeling better today! glad you made a meeting! proud of you for coming back
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Old 06-02-2010, 05:19 AM
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Yes feeling a little on the way up instead of down. Had a rough time sleeping last night, but I did sleep Took one more day from work. I know I'm only 48 hours clean, but I did a taper so I think I'm on the mend. Thanks again everyone for the support
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Old 06-02-2010, 07:10 AM
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Also I'd like to point out something important. At least to me. When I was with my sponsor and another friend from the program last night getting my white key tag I felt completely normal. No wd whatsoever. Then when I layed down it started back up. Isn't it weird how just being in a meeting made me feel so good peace and love
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Old 06-02-2010, 07:57 AM
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Also I'd like to point out something important. At least to me. When I was with my sponsor and another friend from the program last night getting my white key tag I felt completely normal. No wd whatsoever. Then when I layed down it started back up. Isn't it weird how just being in a meeting made me feel so good peace and love
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