Returning to me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
Returning to me.
The Sobriety Calendar tells me that 694 days have now passed sinmce i had a spiritual experience and my alcoholism was taken from me. Events of the past week have shown it's happening again though this time of course alcohol doesn't come in to it.
Since given the gift of sobriety my prayers have held more depth and sincerity and I have prayed for clarity of mind and physical good health. Since Monday the same turbulent experiences have plagued me, never quite ill, never quite well, able to go about my daily life, unable to go about my daily duties, a growing restlessness with those,'attachments' that I once thought enhanced my life and now realise do not and in doing so have no cast aside.
For my 60th my late Mother gave me a card of the like I never seen before, it is a painting depicting a rear view small boy, sat on a beach gazing out to sea, over his shoulder, a large liner is passing. The boy, identified by his appearance and demeanour is undoubtdly me, the ship I call life, a vessel I have not only travelled on but captained at various times of my 63years.
A combination of these two factors plus my knowledge of Buddhist principles would appear to indicate that I am returning to me. In Buddhist Principles the suggestion is that having passed through puberty and adolescence, we enter the arena of life with its backdrop of experiential learning, passing through this we move on to a period of calm and if we have learned lifes lessons recognition of our true selves.
In this case for me, no matter where life has taken me, what pain and suffering I have had to endure, I am simply returning to be me, the little boy on the beach, That in sobriety and indeed in reality was all I ever was and now all I ever am. Mike W.
Since given the gift of sobriety my prayers have held more depth and sincerity and I have prayed for clarity of mind and physical good health. Since Monday the same turbulent experiences have plagued me, never quite ill, never quite well, able to go about my daily life, unable to go about my daily duties, a growing restlessness with those,'attachments' that I once thought enhanced my life and now realise do not and in doing so have no cast aside.
For my 60th my late Mother gave me a card of the like I never seen before, it is a painting depicting a rear view small boy, sat on a beach gazing out to sea, over his shoulder, a large liner is passing. The boy, identified by his appearance and demeanour is undoubtdly me, the ship I call life, a vessel I have not only travelled on but captained at various times of my 63years.
A combination of these two factors plus my knowledge of Buddhist principles would appear to indicate that I am returning to me. In Buddhist Principles the suggestion is that having passed through puberty and adolescence, we enter the arena of life with its backdrop of experiential learning, passing through this we move on to a period of calm and if we have learned lifes lessons recognition of our true selves.
In this case for me, no matter where life has taken me, what pain and suffering I have had to endure, I am simply returning to be me, the little boy on the beach, That in sobriety and indeed in reality was all I ever was and now all I ever am. Mike W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
Without wishing to display any form of vanity, the question has always been,'did I come to Buddhism, or did Buddhism find me?' The answer advanced by others is the latter, for myself when my alcoholism had really gripped me to the extent that I could only crawl to my bed and pray for release from my suffering, formost in my mind was the third Noble Step which, as I'm sure you are aware is, cessation of suffering, on that nmight as proved in the following days my alcoholism was taken from me. Thank you for your comment.
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