worthyoflove

My mother called me to see if I would pick up my grandmother's mail. Grandmother has moved in with her and she lives about an hour away. I pick up the mail down the road and while I am running errands I drive to my mother's and put the mail in her mailbox. I had just enough time to drive back home and finish one more errand before picking up my child. I call my mother and let her know I dropped off the mail and placed it in her mailbox. My mother says, "You drove up here and didn't stop in?". I told her no since I was running errands before I had to pick up my child. She hung up on me and I haven't heard from her since. What exactly was so wrong that she would hang up on me?

PurpleWilder

Probably nothing.

I don't know your family, but if my mom had to live with me for even a nanosecond, I would be beyond irritable 24/7. Maybe she is feeling stressed out from having her there all the time and was just looking for a little break and a distraction. I am assuming here that your grandmother moved in with your mom for health reason? Maybe financial reasons?

Despite these possibilities, you have a right to run your life as you like on any schedule that pleases you. You could always get the mail fowarded at the post office.

EveningRose

I agree, probably nothing. Either she's stressed from her mother being there, or just has unreasonable expectations. You had to pick up your child, and you'd already made a 2 hour round trip (do I understand that right???) to pick up mail for them. Your child comes first.

dothi

Whether she was irritated or super-stressed out, if she wanted you to stop in then she should have told you. You picking up mail shouldn't be code for "come in and visit me".

Besides that, I hear you justifying why you didn't stop in even though you didn't know that this was what she wanted. Even if she had asked you to stop in, and the circumstances were the same, aren't you finish taking care of your life? Or would your mom refuse to accept that you were being anything but rude by not stopping in?

If she was hanging up on you to punish you for not reading her mind and fulfilling this invisible desire, then this sounds an awful lot like passive-aggressiveness.

tromboneliness

I think it's punishment for WoL's life not revolving around Mom 100% 24/7 to the exclusion of all else. It's supposed to be all Mom, all the Time, and any life of your own is not allowed.

Or at least that's my take, based on how my Dad behaved a lot of the time, until I started pushing back -- by visiting less often, answering the phone... oh, maybe half the time at best, and generally being less and less helpful, until he started to get it -- or at least started bugging me less often.

With my Dad, no amount of help/attention is enough -- he wants me (at 46, with a wife in tow and a life of my own going on) back in his employ. Nothing short of that is acceptable to him. Well, f890 that -- it ain't happening.

Sincerely yours,

T

GingerM

I'm going to guess that you didn't give her what she wanted, even though she wasn't even aware that that was what she wanted until you called her. Then, to "punish" you for not giving her what she wanted, she hung up on you to "show you". If you think of a 2 year old exhibiting the "I'm not ever gonna talk to you again!" behavior, that's exactly what it sounds like to me.

So, in a nutshell, you did her a favor, which she couldn't appreciate. Not your problem - her problem. You didn't do anything wrong.

worthyoflove

Thanks everyone for your responses. I still have not heard from her. I'm sure this will pass and she will let this go. I did the best I could for everyone involved. That's all I can do. Love to you all.

Wascally Wabbit

Sounds like something my mom would do.
Your mom was mad that you didn't stop in. That's what she hung up on you for. I guess she assumed you'd stop for a visit if you were going to drive all that way.
Parents expect us to read their minds!