This may seem harsh but it is how I feel
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: australia
Posts: 26
This may seem harsh but it is how I feel
I read some of the posts from addicts and sorry but sometimes they make me so mad and sick!!My dad was addicted to heroin and I witnessed some things no child should have to . .I even found him od on the bathroom floor and called and ambulance and I was 6 years old!!He died when I was 9,mum had left with my brother and myself by then.
It is 20 years this year since he died and I will always love him but I hate the weakness that took him and soory but I think drug addiction is WEAK!!!
We got kicked out of units left with no food he cheated and bashed my mum,I was raped because he took me to some loser dealers place and he passed out while some freak raped a 6 year old.
I have 3 kids and there is no way I could ever put some drug before them or me!And the excuses some addicts have for using "I had a tough childhood" "My parents didn't love me" I couldn't cope" HELLO???Everyone has sh!t happen instead of being a victim DEAL WITH IT!
My partner died of a od at 20 years old and I was pregnant.I had no idea he used.So can i now go jam a needle in my arm?
1.Tough childhood-check
2.Raped
3.dad and partner dead by od-Check
Sorry but I would rather be an inspiration to my kids than a burden.
If this offends anyone I do apologise but it is how I feel,no one will ever change that.
It is 20 years this year since he died and I will always love him but I hate the weakness that took him and soory but I think drug addiction is WEAK!!!
We got kicked out of units left with no food he cheated and bashed my mum,I was raped because he took me to some loser dealers place and he passed out while some freak raped a 6 year old.
I have 3 kids and there is no way I could ever put some drug before them or me!And the excuses some addicts have for using "I had a tough childhood" "My parents didn't love me" I couldn't cope" HELLO???Everyone has sh!t happen instead of being a victim DEAL WITH IT!
My partner died of a od at 20 years old and I was pregnant.I had no idea he used.So can i now go jam a needle in my arm?
1.Tough childhood-check
2.Raped
3.dad and partner dead by od-Check
Sorry but I would rather be an inspiration to my kids than a burden.
If this offends anyone I do apologise but it is how I feel,no one will ever change that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
Lilmami,
I dont think anyone would ever try to change your mind on how you feel. You have a right to your own feelings and let no one ever tell you differently. Like Done said, you have overcome some life changing events the stronger for it. Congrats to you for the person you have become. Keep using that to move forward and inspire others.
As to the question of why addicts use excuses of crappy childhoods or certain events, well....., some are not as stong in their faith in themselves maybe. Or maybe the addict will throw out the first excuse they can think of that hurts them. Also addiction has shown to be herriditary. Or from natural chemical imbalances in the brain.
My self personally. I got high simply cause I really liked getting high. It was a matter of self esteem. Others find ways to cope with exercise or dr perscribed medication. But now days with health care the state its in, its next to impossible to get good treatment or worse having a doctor making you a drug addict before you know it. Some Dr are so free with their prescriptions. Others are not.
But back to your post. Addiction is a weakness in many forms. Of the body or the mind. And even spirit. I hope this helps for some understanding. As part of my recovery I think the things I learned most was compassion and forgiveness.
I dont think anyone would ever try to change your mind on how you feel. You have a right to your own feelings and let no one ever tell you differently. Like Done said, you have overcome some life changing events the stronger for it. Congrats to you for the person you have become. Keep using that to move forward and inspire others.
As to the question of why addicts use excuses of crappy childhoods or certain events, well....., some are not as stong in their faith in themselves maybe. Or maybe the addict will throw out the first excuse they can think of that hurts them. Also addiction has shown to be herriditary. Or from natural chemical imbalances in the brain.
My self personally. I got high simply cause I really liked getting high. It was a matter of self esteem. Others find ways to cope with exercise or dr perscribed medication. But now days with health care the state its in, its next to impossible to get good treatment or worse having a doctor making you a drug addict before you know it. Some Dr are so free with their prescriptions. Others are not.
But back to your post. Addiction is a weakness in many forms. Of the body or the mind. And even spirit. I hope this helps for some understanding. As part of my recovery I think the things I learned most was compassion and forgiveness.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 80
lilmami,
I'm continually frustrated by all the attention paid to addicts. Alcoholics and addicts will get repeated DUIs/DWIs/car accidents, domestic assault charges, multiple relapses, and people still go out of their way to help them and give them second chances.
Meanwhile, comparably little attention is paid to us, the families and friends of these people. I don't recall seeing any codependency rehab clinics! And do we go around destroying everything around us? No; we're just trying to be happy!
So yes, I share your anger, and don't think for a second that you have to be ashamed about it or that you have to make excuses for it or justify it.
I'm continually frustrated by all the attention paid to addicts. Alcoholics and addicts will get repeated DUIs/DWIs/car accidents, domestic assault charges, multiple relapses, and people still go out of their way to help them and give them second chances.
Meanwhile, comparably little attention is paid to us, the families and friends of these people. I don't recall seeing any codependency rehab clinics! And do we go around destroying everything around us? No; we're just trying to be happy!
So yes, I share your anger, and don't think for a second that you have to be ashamed about it or that you have to make excuses for it or justify it.
AKA 'grewupinabarn'
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 471
I would rather be an inspiration to my kids than a burden
I have known a bunch of single moms and dads who are really heroes, and you are up there with 'em.
It does suck that you heroes always have to rise from the ashes.
I don't recall seeing any codependency rehab clinics!
Well, we have this place.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
Chiming in with my own little tiny gripe here:
I would like to know why it is alcoholism/drug addiction is treated as a disease, but if you happen to be addicted to nicotine, one of the most addictive substances out there, you become a social leper.
Most of the people I know are addicted to caffeine - they get the caffeine headache if they don't have their morning cup of coffee. It's okay to be addicted to caffeine, but not to any other drug, and it's more acceptable to be addicted to alcohol or heroine or meth or or or, than it is to be addicted to nicotine.
I hear people who will pity the alcoholic publicly decry smokers. Having been through my own alcoholism (dry for 18 years now), and having beaten it cold turkey with no program, and having tried to quit smoking for many many years now, I can tell you it's much easier to quit alcohol than nicotine. As an alcoholic, I got sympathy. As a smoker, I am "one of those people" and the evil social heathen who needs a good public stoning. I don't get it.
I suppose it simply demonstrates, in yet one more way, how messed up our society is.
I would like to know why it is alcoholism/drug addiction is treated as a disease, but if you happen to be addicted to nicotine, one of the most addictive substances out there, you become a social leper.
Most of the people I know are addicted to caffeine - they get the caffeine headache if they don't have their morning cup of coffee. It's okay to be addicted to caffeine, but not to any other drug, and it's more acceptable to be addicted to alcohol or heroine or meth or or or, than it is to be addicted to nicotine.
I hear people who will pity the alcoholic publicly decry smokers. Having been through my own alcoholism (dry for 18 years now), and having beaten it cold turkey with no program, and having tried to quit smoking for many many years now, I can tell you it's much easier to quit alcohol than nicotine. As an alcoholic, I got sympathy. As a smoker, I am "one of those people" and the evil social heathen who needs a good public stoning. I don't get it.
I suppose it simply demonstrates, in yet one more way, how messed up our society is.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 80
GingerM,
I think a couple of things are going on with nicotine dependency (and yes, I have heard that it is the most addictive drug out there, including heroin):
Personally I feel for you; from what I understand, it's extremely difficult to quit (you can do it, though!). I do hate smoking, but it's too bad that that spills over onto people like you who are trying to quit. You deserve support!
I think a couple of things are going on with nicotine dependency (and yes, I have heard that it is the most addictive drug out there, including heroin):
- For a long time, smoking was seen as cool, and people had to fight against the huge tobacco companies. I believe the tide has turned, with more people against it than for it, and the attitude against smoking will remain until it's like a niche hobby, or illegal, or something.
- Smoking affects other people. I live in a state that outlaws smoking in restaurants, and whenever I go to a state that allows smoking in restaurants, I can barely stand it. For whatever reason, I almost can't breathe when I'm around smoking, so it makes it really tough for me.
Personally I feel for you; from what I understand, it's extremely difficult to quit (you can do it, though!). I do hate smoking, but it's too bad that that spills over onto people like you who are trying to quit. You deserve support!
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