looking for a pattern

Old 03-29-2009, 06:24 AM
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looking for a pattern

I now realize that i do have my limits of what i will not tolerate and alcohol is not on the list. I know that i would avoid a heroin addict, a coke/crack addict, a pot smoker (nowadays), a wife beater, a liar, a thief, a womanizer. I would avoid anyone who looks like a major alcoholic-you know the bags under their eyes, their smell. But to my surprise I have a blind eye to those who drink. I guess i rationalize it. or maybe i want to be tricked into believing they do not have a problem with alcohol. maybe this is the part of the denial in my childhood that my father was not an alcoholic, as my mother clearly defined an alcoholic being her father....therefore my dad could not have been an alcoholic, because why would my mom be with one if it was as bad as her alcoholic father. is that twisted or what?!

Another thing that gets me is how plenty of my relationships i gave up on because of their addiction, and funny how they seemed to stop drinking after i left them. Not all, but plenty. Maybe it was just the timing that it finally got intolerable for them to continue as they were, but then it also makes me feel kindof bad that they had to be drunk to be with me!! My xah has not quit although he claims to have stopped using drugs ( i don't believe it)...however the rest of his drunk family- 3 out of 4 (including his mother) have stopped drinking/drugging...most of them were about to die from it....

I seem to attract crazy people or addicts. I start a new job, new people come into my life-they are either crazy or alcoholic/codie. Not that i am "looking" for it....it just turns out to be "their story". wtf
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Old 03-29-2009, 09:06 AM
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Hey there EA

Originally Posted by escape artist View Post
... I now realize that i do have my limits of what i will not tolerate and....
awesome! took me _forever_ to figure that out.

Originally Posted by escape artist View Post
... But to my surprise I have a blind eye to those who drink. I guess i rationalize it. ....
yeah, that's what I did. Still do a little, but I'm very aware of that "blind eye" of mine.

Originally Posted by escape artist View Post
...is that twisted or what?! ....
* lol * um... yes In my biological family an "alcoholic" was a homeless wino, so I had similar twisted thinking.

Originally Posted by escape artist View Post
... and funny how they seemed to stop drinking after i left them.....
ok, so they stopped drinking. But for how long? And did they switch to another chemical? Did they stop drinking and become "dry drunks"? To me the drinking is just a symptom of something else far more harmful.

Originally Posted by escape artist View Post
... I start a new job, new people come into my life-they are either crazy or alcoholic/codie.....
Alkies / addicts are _always_ looking for a new enabler. They're like sharks drifting around in the ocean checking out every new thing that drops in the water. When I start a new job or move into a new place it's always the alkies / addicts that are the first to show up. The healthy people sit back and wait to see if _I_ am healthy or toxic.

Which is what I have learned to do when I am in a new place. Sit back and watch, wait for the crazies to show themselves first.

Mike
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Old 03-29-2009, 08:27 PM
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thanks Mike, I will take that last bit and apply it right now!! i guess that is what i am dealing with, like they are trying to BAIT me! Hahahahahahaha!!! I have been teetering on whether to chomp down on it or try to make it a nonissue-i would prefer a nonissue-except for the fact it is a pattern which i just escaped from my last job..and viola! here it is again, reincarnated!! i need to remind myself that i do not wish to get caught up in the triangulation.....thanks again. lots to positively work on now.
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