Help finding a thread
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Bullhead City, Arizona
Posts: 89
Help finding a thread
Hello everyone-
I've been "lurking" here for several years but haven't posted, mostly because I'm not *really* an ACoA. But I might as well be - both my parents were very abusive and rejective of me. I have found many of your posts to be extremely helpful - so all of you should feel real good that you and this forum are helping a lot more people than just those who post.
I have a request... since this is my first post, I can't PM or e-mail anyone. I printed out a post by DesertEyes several months ago re: Forgiving your parents. Today I finally went over it with my psychologist and he was almost overwhelmed at how deep it was... Although I can *logically* see the truth in it, it's going to take at least several months before it sinks into my heart.
I want to print out a copy for him. but I can't find it. It's dated 1/21/2007 and titled "Forgiving my parents." I can't get it to show up using the search. Can someone point me to it?
And, DesertEyes, you should be VERY proud of how many people you've helped with this thread!!!
Mike
I've been "lurking" here for several years but haven't posted, mostly because I'm not *really* an ACoA. But I might as well be - both my parents were very abusive and rejective of me. I have found many of your posts to be extremely helpful - so all of you should feel real good that you and this forum are helping a lot more people than just those who post.
I have a request... since this is my first post, I can't PM or e-mail anyone. I printed out a post by DesertEyes several months ago re: Forgiving your parents. Today I finally went over it with my psychologist and he was almost overwhelmed at how deep it was... Although I can *logically* see the truth in it, it's going to take at least several months before it sinks into my heart.
I want to print out a copy for him. but I can't find it. It's dated 1/21/2007 and titled "Forgiving my parents." I can't get it to show up using the search. Can someone point me to it?
And, DesertEyes, you should be VERY proud of how many people you've helped with this thread!!!
Mike
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Mike)))
I couldn't find it either. We've had a few "crashes" and lost a lot of posts. I pm'd Mike and hopefully, he has a copy or can remember what he wrote. It may take a day or 2 for him to get back to you, but he will.
I'm glad you finally joined. Lots of great people here, including the other ((Mike)).
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I couldn't find it either. We've had a few "crashes" and lost a lot of posts. I pm'd Mike and hopefully, he has a copy or can remember what he wrote. It may take a day or 2 for him to get back to you, but he will.
I'm glad you finally joined. Lots of great people here, including the other ((Mike)).
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hey, Mike, welcome, and thanks for the kind words. I know that, if it still exists, DesertEyes (Mike#2) will be able to find that post and get it to you. Heck, I'd like to read it again myself!
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello there MikeH, and welcome to our little corner of recovery.
And thank you for the wonderful compliments
You definetly qualify
See, ACoA was started in the mid 80's as an outgrowth of Al-Anon. A number of shrinks published some excellent books about us, most notably Claudia Black, and that sparked a revolution in how we saw ourselves. Almost overnight we were all starting meetings and putting together a whole new organization.
Back then there was a lot of research money being spent on Alchoholism. It was the fad. So all the research was based on alcoholic families, and we incorporated with the name "Adult Children of Alcoholics".
We've learned a _lot_ since those pioneering days.
Today we know that the name is all wrong, it really should be "Adult Children of Toxic Environments", or something like that. It's not the _alcohol_ that twisted our emotions as children, it was the _behavior_ of the people who raised us.
It doesn't matter if they boozers, pill addicts, druggies, gamblers or just plain mean. Being raised in a dysfunctional environment makes dysfunctional emotions.
So if you were raised by emotionally ill people, and you are today suffering from the injuries of their "toxicity", then you are more than welcome to be a member of "ACoA" and join us in our road to recovery.
Welcome again.
Mike
And thank you for the wonderful compliments
Originally Posted by MikeH 
... but haven't posted, mostly because I'm not *really* an ACoA. But I might as well be ...
See, ACoA was started in the mid 80's as an outgrowth of Al-Anon. A number of shrinks published some excellent books about us, most notably Claudia Black, and that sparked a revolution in how we saw ourselves. Almost overnight we were all starting meetings and putting together a whole new organization.
Back then there was a lot of research money being spent on Alchoholism. It was the fad. So all the research was based on alcoholic families, and we incorporated with the name "Adult Children of Alcoholics".
We've learned a _lot_ since those pioneering days.
Today we know that the name is all wrong, it really should be "Adult Children of Toxic Environments", or something like that. It's not the _alcohol_ that twisted our emotions as children, it was the _behavior_ of the people who raised us.
It doesn't matter if they boozers, pill addicts, druggies, gamblers or just plain mean. Being raised in a dysfunctional environment makes dysfunctional emotions.
So if you were raised by emotionally ill people, and you are today suffering from the injuries of their "toxicity", then you are more than welcome to be a member of "ACoA" and join us in our road to recovery.
Welcome again.
Mike
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