Rancorous

So, my "family" and I have finally moved into our new house. Surprise, surprise...my family is still picking on me for being "lazy". I'll give them that I havn't unpacked much, if anything but thats because the drywall guys are still fixing my room so my ceiling doesn't cave in and crush me in my sleep a la Donnie Darko. Theres going to be dust on everything anyway. I may as well wait until they're done so everything can be clean in my viewpoint. That way I can easily move things so I can get the painting done. But no, my mom is complaining that I should magically have everything moved into its individual place but help her too and blah blah blah blah blah. I have a job where i'm running around all day. I'm not even around most of the time and she expects me to come running to help her at any spare moment I have and i'm not superwoman...i'm just not. I really resent the way she treats me. She treats me like i'm nothing but a piece of garbage. I know I was ranting about the same thing when we were still having showings and I know that its never going to be any different with her. I heard her talking to my sister about cutting me out of the will and putting a restraining order on me or something like that. =| I don't think she'll do anything because shes an enabler and enabling is what she does best. (In this case, enable my "laziness") On a side note, she got a job too finally, though she still has no right to treat me like this. But I really can't take the two of them anymore. I keep thinking of taking my chances with homelessness. I'm still not in the position to get a better job really since i'm not through school yet and i've stayed with the job I have just because anything else I would get would suck just as much and have the same amount of gossip or more. She also keeps ranting about the quality of the house and saying dumb **** like "Your father's idea of a perfect house was a white house with a black roof and our house is like that and his shelves fit! Its a sign hes still there "protecting" us!" Which really makes me want to puke. This is just too much. Should I just ignore them or what? =|

dothi

*phew* Take a deep breath! Sounds like all these close quarters are very uncomfortable for you.

Your post is a bit confusing. Could you explain is this your house or your mom's house? Is this arrangement permanent or until you can move into your own place?

Since it sounds like can't do anything about it immediately, I really suggest doing something small and nice for yourself each day - just to give you a break/escape from all the tension. Something to keep you sane, even if it's just sitting and listening to a good song or watching a good tv show. When I *absolutely* had to live with my family, I read books or got into a good game. That way, at least everyday, something was done that made me happy (instead of just thinking about the stress and lack of boundaries).

The thing about being so immershed in old, ugly family dynamics is that it can help you lose your "sane bearings" in a real hurry. It can really make you crazy; even if you see yourself slipping, it feels like there's nothing you can do because *everyone* is constantly reinforcing your role for you. It's just too much of a tide to turn.

Please elaborate on your post.

Rancorous

Its my mother's house...so I can't really say anything. I try to hesitate to argue on most things but yeah. Until I am able to move out on my own i'm stuck living there and i've got nobody at all who can help me.

guiab

That is one H%$ of a rant. I didn't get the whole picture but I hear your frustration. You don't deserve the treatment but you can't change your mother. You can change you. Set boundaries with your mom and set a goal of being out of there in X number of months. The goal will help you focus on you, you, and you.