Spending a weekend half-drunk
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Sask
Posts: 117
Spending a weekend half-drunk
Alcoholism is present on both sides of my family. I've had a tendency to drink too much at once since I was 18, but those times were few and far between.
Now, like many here, I am seeking help and a way to get out of this hell.
I won't go into thembarassing things I've done,.....but I would like to tell you how I got here, noting that I'm not excusing myself, but explaining how alcohol became a crutch.
About 8 years ago, my job became increasinglt stressful, my boss increasingly a power hungry arse. I started to drink in the evenings, began to get depressed (but didn't know what it was) and drank more to ease that feeling.
Then my mother got diagnosed with Cancer, which invited more alcohol, more depression. 2 months after my Mom died, my wife filed for divorce, and sudddenly not only was my Mom gone, but now my wife and kids. My wife was aslo drinking heavily, and we weren't happy. I'd plead with her to slow down, because I was trying desperately to. All our friends were heavy drinkers.
I almost lost my licence shortly after my wife left, but the Police Officer, God Bless him took me home instead.
My depression is getting better, but I'm still having troble with alcohol.
I convince myself that I've got ahold of it, and am controlling it now, but that's not true, and eventually the amount creeps back up.
I don't believe moderation can work for me.............right now I'm sipping on Vodka and water, sparingly to try and control the withdrawal symptoms and wean off.
I look forward to being a member here, and hope you can inspire me, and that later I can inspire others.
I took last Friday off to get some yardwork and housework don, and spent it instead drinking, then picking my kids up. I was never totally blitzed, and have improved, but I DID drink about 15 drinks each day. I'm tired of this.
Now, like many here, I am seeking help and a way to get out of this hell.
I won't go into thembarassing things I've done,.....but I would like to tell you how I got here, noting that I'm not excusing myself, but explaining how alcohol became a crutch.
About 8 years ago, my job became increasinglt stressful, my boss increasingly a power hungry arse. I started to drink in the evenings, began to get depressed (but didn't know what it was) and drank more to ease that feeling.
Then my mother got diagnosed with Cancer, which invited more alcohol, more depression. 2 months after my Mom died, my wife filed for divorce, and sudddenly not only was my Mom gone, but now my wife and kids. My wife was aslo drinking heavily, and we weren't happy. I'd plead with her to slow down, because I was trying desperately to. All our friends were heavy drinkers.
I almost lost my licence shortly after my wife left, but the Police Officer, God Bless him took me home instead.
My depression is getting better, but I'm still having troble with alcohol.
I convince myself that I've got ahold of it, and am controlling it now, but that's not true, and eventually the amount creeps back up.
I don't believe moderation can work for me.............right now I'm sipping on Vodka and water, sparingly to try and control the withdrawal symptoms and wean off.
I look forward to being a member here, and hope you can inspire me, and that later I can inspire others.
I took last Friday off to get some yardwork and housework don, and spent it instead drinking, then picking my kids up. I was never totally blitzed, and have improved, but I DID drink about 15 drinks each day. I'm tired of this.
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