My Dead Friends
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
My Dead Friends
Hi Everyone....
On another thread I mentioned
I had lost 26 friends since I found recovery in '89.
Then I got to thinking ...so many of us
equate drunk driving to alcoholic deaths.
Others assume an alcoholic is jobless
friendless....a nomad living in parks.
My dead friends lived in D.C.
Drunk driving was not why they died.
None was a skid row drinker.
Norman in my bed...a heart attack
He took a legal pain med and had 5 beers.
John P......a suicide ..alone .Cocaine and Burbon
Bob...I found him dead in my apartment
when I came back from vacation.
He had been there 6 days and I did not
realize it was a person I loved.
I had to throw out my carpet and chair.
Wayne...who shared a home with me
I cleaned up his vomit and blood
as he bled to death on his way to ER.
Pat...I last saw him 2 hours before he died of
alcoholism. He was restrained in a hospital bed
raving and yellow.
Leo...I worked with him for 10 years.
He died on the restaurant floor
Convulsing and vomiting blood.
Joe...hit a bridge head on...drunk...in his PJ's..sucide
Princess....froze to death passed out in an alley
Richard ... shot himself in his bottle strewn car.
Charlie ..died waiting for a liver transplant
Stephen and Ann...liver cancer
Jeff and Ted...drunk...alone...found days after death in apartments
Not possible to pin point causes due to body decomposition.
A few had tried AA....2 died recovered
Sooo....while I do stress
"Don't Drink and Drive"
my personal list of who I mourn
has nothing to do with it.
With the hope that someone will save their own life
I share some of my dead friends with you.
Thank you for reading ...please find a
way to live without alcohol.
On another thread I mentioned
I had lost 26 friends since I found recovery in '89.
Then I got to thinking ...so many of us
equate drunk driving to alcoholic deaths.
Others assume an alcoholic is jobless
friendless....a nomad living in parks.
My dead friends lived in D.C.
Drunk driving was not why they died.
None was a skid row drinker.
Norman in my bed...a heart attack
He took a legal pain med and had 5 beers.
John P......a suicide ..alone .Cocaine and Burbon
Bob...I found him dead in my apartment
when I came back from vacation.
He had been there 6 days and I did not
realize it was a person I loved.
I had to throw out my carpet and chair.
Wayne...who shared a home with me
I cleaned up his vomit and blood
as he bled to death on his way to ER.
Pat...I last saw him 2 hours before he died of
alcoholism. He was restrained in a hospital bed
raving and yellow.
Leo...I worked with him for 10 years.
He died on the restaurant floor
Convulsing and vomiting blood.
Joe...hit a bridge head on...drunk...in his PJ's..sucide
Princess....froze to death passed out in an alley
Richard ... shot himself in his bottle strewn car.
Charlie ..died waiting for a liver transplant
Stephen and Ann...liver cancer
Jeff and Ted...drunk...alone...found days after death in apartments
Not possible to pin point causes due to body decomposition.
A few had tried AA....2 died recovered
Sooo....while I do stress
"Don't Drink and Drive"
my personal list of who I mourn
has nothing to do with it.
With the hope that someone will save their own life
I share some of my dead friends with you.
Thank you for reading ...please find a
way to live without alcohol.
getting there
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
Carol, thank you for this post. You are so strong in your sobriety... I am sorry for all that you have been through but it helps me to know that this affliction can be beat, even in the face of life's worst circumstances.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Carol, thank you for the reminder. I have no idea why I am one of the few who is sober today but I have a greater appreciation for my sobriety knowing that there are so many who this disease kills.
I love it when I see a chairperson put an empty chair in the middle of the room to acknowledge the alcoholic who died before they could make it and for the alcoholic who still suffers.
I love it when I see a chairperson put an empty chair in the middle of the room to acknowledge the alcoholic who died before they could make it and for the alcoholic who still suffers.
God's Kid
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,820
Thanks
Thanks Carol
When I first got sober, I can still remember at treatment and in meetings hearing 'people die from this disease' and I thought 'yeah,yeah' - I love a bit of the melodramatic stuff too.
Then when I was 4 years sober people I knew and recovery friends started dying, the first one being an ex boyfriend of mine who was found murdered (after being missing for a year) and the local paper said he was a drug addict who faked mental illness to get drugs, which as far as I can remember was probably true.
I rang his family to get an address to send a card and spoke to his aunty who kept saying over and over, ' I don't understand why the papers are saying that stuff about him. He was such a nice boy.' I can vividly recall thinking, he was a nice guy. And not being sarcastic either - he was a really nice guy, underneath all the ugliness of his illness.
I have been told that all of us have a 'messge' to carry even those of us who die.
When I first got sober, I can still remember at treatment and in meetings hearing 'people die from this disease' and I thought 'yeah,yeah' - I love a bit of the melodramatic stuff too.
Then when I was 4 years sober people I knew and recovery friends started dying, the first one being an ex boyfriend of mine who was found murdered (after being missing for a year) and the local paper said he was a drug addict who faked mental illness to get drugs, which as far as I can remember was probably true.
I rang his family to get an address to send a card and spoke to his aunty who kept saying over and over, ' I don't understand why the papers are saying that stuff about him. He was such a nice boy.' I can vividly recall thinking, he was a nice guy. And not being sarcastic either - he was a really nice guy, underneath all the ugliness of his illness.
I have been told that all of us have a 'messge' to carry even those of us who die.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 201
Thanks Carol...I have a few that I know of...
Davey...we went to Jr high...Cocaine & Whiskey bender 2 years ago, found dead in front of a carry out, The police report said he had a can of beer in his hand. So twicked on Cocaine he was waiting for it to open so he could buy more beer to come down!
Cid...out boating on lake Erie when the boat capsize...he was so drunk he belived he could swim all the way in as the storm raged...everyone else survived by holding onto the boat.
Jeff...drummer for a band I played in...died waiting for a liver transplant
Ricky...friend from elemently school...died from heart failure after 5 day bender, Cocaine, Whiskey, beer and anything else he could get his hands on....
Leo...drunk walking down the road, hit by a car and killered!
Terry....Hep C (Drinks heavy) still living in CA...rumor has it lives in the mountians and is a farmer...if you know what I mean!!!
Thats all I know of but I have not in lived in my home town in many years. I"m sure I have lost many friends from drugs and alcohol. Funny how I think back to 70's, it was all about Love, bell bottoms, peace signs, smokin weed n trippin... but it really took its toll on many of us!
Davey...we went to Jr high...Cocaine & Whiskey bender 2 years ago, found dead in front of a carry out, The police report said he had a can of beer in his hand. So twicked on Cocaine he was waiting for it to open so he could buy more beer to come down!
Cid...out boating on lake Erie when the boat capsize...he was so drunk he belived he could swim all the way in as the storm raged...everyone else survived by holding onto the boat.
Jeff...drummer for a band I played in...died waiting for a liver transplant
Ricky...friend from elemently school...died from heart failure after 5 day bender, Cocaine, Whiskey, beer and anything else he could get his hands on....
Leo...drunk walking down the road, hit by a car and killered!
Terry....Hep C (Drinks heavy) still living in CA...rumor has it lives in the mountians and is a farmer...if you know what I mean!!!
Thats all I know of but I have not in lived in my home town in many years. I"m sure I have lost many friends from drugs and alcohol. Funny how I think back to 70's, it was all about Love, bell bottoms, peace signs, smokin weed n trippin... but it really took its toll on many of us!
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Originally Posted by nandm 
I have no idea why I am one of the few who is sober today but I have a greater appreciation for my sobriety knowing that there are so many who this disease kills.
Thank you to all of you for sharing this.
Cathy31
x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
thank you carol
alot of my friends from my first sobriety have died over the years sober, and a few drunk or using.
But one very nice and wonderful person that i spent time with in treatment basically couldn't deal with sobriety...he had a very dificult time with other issues which drinking had made worse. He attended an aa meeting, left the meeting and went and shot 2 people.
People really got angry at him and really put him down, but i remember my old sponsor telling me once after a sober suicide in our group....some people come back...just not soon enough. and i do believe tht there but for grace go I.
My friend was/is a very good person and i love him. i do not envy his path and it made me realize that there may be in fact worse things than dying of this disease...I wasn't afraid of dying at the end...but living with the knowledge of what we have done can be worse.....but of course i am grateful today that i lived and found sobriety.
alot of my friends from my first sobriety have died over the years sober, and a few drunk or using.
But one very nice and wonderful person that i spent time with in treatment basically couldn't deal with sobriety...he had a very dificult time with other issues which drinking had made worse. He attended an aa meeting, left the meeting and went and shot 2 people.
People really got angry at him and really put him down, but i remember my old sponsor telling me once after a sober suicide in our group....some people come back...just not soon enough. and i do believe tht there but for grace go I.
My friend was/is a very good person and i love him. i do not envy his path and it made me realize that there may be in fact worse things than dying of this disease...I wasn't afraid of dying at the end...but living with the knowledge of what we have done can be worse.....but of course i am grateful today that i lived and found sobriety.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Thank you so much Carol.
I have also lost several family members and friends to alcoholism & drug addiction. Last August, I was a pallbearer for a friend - 43 years old, same field of work as me, heavy daily drinker, brain aneurysm while at his office, didn't make it to the hospital. A good man lost. What I remember most vividly from the funeral is trying to comfort his little nieces & nephews.
On occasion, I tried to talk to him about his drinking, to get help. He would start crying.
His grave is near to my fathers and I visit often. I think he would be proud of me.
We truly are the fortunate ones.
I have also lost several family members and friends to alcoholism & drug addiction. Last August, I was a pallbearer for a friend - 43 years old, same field of work as me, heavy daily drinker, brain aneurysm while at his office, didn't make it to the hospital. A good man lost. What I remember most vividly from the funeral is trying to comfort his little nieces & nephews.
On occasion, I tried to talk to him about his drinking, to get help. He would start crying.
His grave is near to my fathers and I visit often. I think he would be proud of me.
We truly are the fortunate ones.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
I have a friend who is coming up on 18 yrs sober this Dec
he has a list of names who died since he got sober in 1990
all has come to aa at some time
67 people on his list
some drank themselves to death
some was in car wrecks,some suicides
some od`ed
none died sober
there are probally many more we never found out about
he has a list of names who died since he got sober in 1990
all has come to aa at some time
67 people on his list
some drank themselves to death
some was in car wrecks,some suicides
some od`ed
none died sober
there are probally many more we never found out about
He who seeks, will find
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Galway Ireland
Posts: 35
ken dead in stupid motorbike smash 5 years ago mad drunk at the time, his wife died this weekend, took aload of pills, jumped in a canal. Philip in a car smash while smashed, not dead but as good as, he can only move his fingers on one hand. my god what a post. I never put it all togeather that all this was a result of addiction one way or another. a great post even though a tragic one.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
thanks Carol for the space to remember in loving gratitude, those who did not live to recover from alcohlism. I remember
bill c age 42 (my dad) 1972
sandy m age 43 (my bf) 1995
terence w age 37 1985
michael g age 39 1979
scott j age 29 1982
walter h age 48 1987
leah s age 17 1972
chris c age 19 1973
jane s age 45 1990
jeffery c age 52 2004
nelson j age 51 1999
freddie p age 43 1996
charlie f age 55 2007
matt q age 48 2007
bob t age 53 2007
and the others
rest in peace~
bill c age 42 (my dad) 1972
sandy m age 43 (my bf) 1995
terence w age 37 1985
michael g age 39 1979
scott j age 29 1982
walter h age 48 1987
leah s age 17 1972
chris c age 19 1973
jane s age 45 1990
jeffery c age 52 2004
nelson j age 51 1999
freddie p age 43 1996
charlie f age 55 2007
matt q age 48 2007
bob t age 53 2007
and the others
rest in peace~
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