barb dwyer

... the Daily ditty ... and also to the TOPAMAX thread ...

I'm starting week four and I've noticed a few things - I want to post about here, in hopes others could relate?

One - I've experienced a MARKED increase in TYPOS ... Im calling it a TOPA-TYPO syndrome. I see in the paperwork about dyslexia ... an that it will pass or level out... sux to be a witer right about now.
(witer? who am I allasudden?
Elmer Fudd?
see what I mean WRITER for craps sake!)

I was never good at going back to check my work to begin with but now ...

I'm talkin' ... damn. So I apologize.

Second - Dolls was just talking about anxiety - I wanted to share about that -

I have had some manic stuff going on - noticed by my "person' ... and now frequently commented on by my 'person' ... I mentioned it to my Counsellor - who found that singular and interesting - so there's some talk about just dropping the topamax and getting me back on my old ADHD medication. I posted about that on the 'last to know' thread.

HOWEVER -

the TOPAMAX ...
makes for an anxious tummy.
Well, it makes for a sensation in the tummy ... that TRANSLATES to the feeling when we were kids that 'oooo I'm in trouble' feeling.
WHich the brain interprets as anxiety.
I'm talking milliseconds to happen, here.
When in reality - it's just chems releasing.
When we have TIME to stop and think of it as that - the 'feeling' ...
goes away. (impending doom, in trouble...sky is falling... all that)
And all is well.

When we get caught up in daily crap though - work, deadlines,
GUESTS at a HOTER that should be asleep for craps sake ...
we don't GET the time to stop and remind the tummy of that.

Last Saturday -
I didn't leave my house.
Nothing terrible -0i just ... had nowhere to go.
But I had a fullblown anxiety attack.
Wassamatter? WhadI do? DidI say something?> OMG?
Kind of thing.
I had to actually STOP WHat I was doing...
and tell myself -
dumbs$$ -
you havn't spoken to a single person all day.
you cou.nd't have said anything.
you have BEEN anywhere.
you couldn't have DONE anything.
your stomach is in knots
because you're on a new MEDICATION
and you haven't EATEN today.
maybe you shoud go into the kitchen hand have a cracker.

so I did.
and it went away.

and ... I thought about these threads.

so I thought I'd throw this out there.

see what happens.

Love to all - have a great weekend.

barb
:chatter
:ghug3

PaperDolls

Hey Barb ..... I think posting about your experience when on a new med is a good idea. I just went back through my old thread and read last night. I had forgotten so much of it. It's a nice reminder.

I can relate to the tummy anxiety thing. It's strange. It seems to happen out of left field for me.

I don't know anything about Topamax, is it for anxiety? I'm on adderall xr for add but it's fairly new to me and I'm not noticing a huge change in anything. My anxiety and fear at night had all but gone away but it's creeping back in.

Funny thing about your topa-typo syndrome. I've noticed a ton I made when reading back last night. I don't have the topamax to blame. I rely on a spell check but almost never go back over my posts to edit and catch mistakes. O'well.....

Keep posting.

historyteach

Hmmm, well, I can't say I notice any more typos than normal. I had plenty when I quit smoking, though, LOL!

As for the tummy thing, does it have to do with not eating? Topamax is known for causing weight loss. And I've noticed that I eat less since I went up to the 100 mg level. Between that and being sick with bronchitis, I have lost 5 pounds! It's a good thing for me, though, LOL!

I don't have any anxiety with it. In fact, I think my anxiety is better for being on it! And it sure helps my sleeping alot. Sleep like a baby most nights. I'm really happy with it. So far, anyway, lol!

Hope your experience turns out better. How long have you been on it? Cuz, it may just be a temp thing till you get used to it? Oh, and I take mine at night, to deal with the sleepiness it brings on. When are you taking yours? Could that be a factor?

Shalom!

shutterbug

hi Barb....i didn't realize you were a writer may i ask what kind?
I often kid that i'm the world's worst speller who also happens to make my living as a journalist....so your TOPA-TYPO connection is an interesting one to me. I did actually call a she, a he in a photo caption the other day!! and it got printed that way!! Darn.

I also hadn't guessed about the tummy issue! I have parania issues surrounding being in trouble all the time at work anyway so that's an interesting connection to the Topamax also.

Are you on a mood stabalizer? or just the Topamax? How much of a dose?

TEACH.....!!!!! Topamax is known for causing weight loss!!!???????? Cool Beans!!! I need to up my dosage, like now! lol (kidding...kinda )

And you are taking 100mg all at once, at bedtime? Well i wonder why mine is 25mg in a.m. and 25 mg in the p.m.? I was just sitting here wondering if it has to be a twice a day kind of med.....because i don't do well with that. But if i could take 100mg or more all at bedtime then NO PROBLEM!!

Thanks all.

Barb, keep us posted please...you seem to have a keen awareness on how this med might be affecting you.

Jenna

historyteach

Yup; I take the 100 mg at night to prevent the tiredness it can bring on during the daytime. And as a side effect of the nighttime dose, I get a good night's sleep, (normally -- a belly ache woke me tonight. )

Barb;
How's it going lately? Still having the same issues, or is it settled after a few days?

Shalom!

barb dwyer

Hi everyone -

Sorry for the delay - had a few days off - it's hard for me to get to a machine on these days ...

The TYPO-TOPO ... I *think* is due to the tingling/numbness in the hands and shoulders mostly. They say that goes away after a few weeks. The dyslexia ... is an 'onset' thing and also goes away, along with dizziness, bla bla bla ... *sigh*.
Soounds like those commercials - you know - the ones that list sympto=ms tha are worse than what your'e taking the drug to treat in the first place...

Thanks, PD - I kinda thought it would be a good thing, too ...

Shutter -

I am the currently kind of writer - LOL ... the most surplus population kind. The kind you can't swing a dead cat in Montana without hitting ... LOL! Actually, I haven't published anything in years, drunk,you know. I wrote mostly article stuff in the last years, horse stuff, that kind of thing.

I haven't been serious about publishing in almost twenty years.


I'm on a twice a day - 50/50.

Now, in the last three days - i've experienced a marked DECREASE in the anxiety feeling. Which is what the doc said was going to happen as soon as it climbed to the 'much to be desired 100mg doseage. Then we're to hold there and see what happens.

Which is funny in and of itself.
Anyone who ever drank with me would tell you those words, if spoken by ME ... are dangerous.
"Hey guys - let's jsut take the boat to the EDGE of the falls and rev the motor in reverse..." See what happpens"
that kind of thing.

yeah.

ANYHOO - things really DO seem to be levelling off.
*shrug*
I had my doubts there for a few days.
Big time.

shutterbug

this is all pretty much new news to me....same with Abilify...i hadn't a clue of anything about it.

When struggling just to get dressed each day....i just don't have the energy to research anything. I usually try to ask as many questions of the docs as possible, but since my switch to Topamax was pre-ECT....i don't remember anything asked or nothing at all about being put on it. I just know i got put on it somehow and thought it was a mood-stabilizer.

Everything i'm learning from you guys sure sounds like it's a good thing for me to be on....i just also NEED to be on a mood stabilizer....me arguing with my boss over stupid things that we should be laughing at....is definetly NOT good.

Barb....i had no clue swinging dead cats was such a sport!!
Nor did i realize Montana has so many writers!
Ever written a book? Even tho i'm no where near close to completing one....i've been feeling a huge urge to find out the best ways to go about trying to get one published, the promoted, then...yadda, yadda....

btw...i rode through Montana once....on my way to Washington from when i had landed in Colorado. Can't remember a thing about it except that Yellowstone is nearby...somewhere....and that in the summer it's too cold at night to sleep in a truck with cheap traveling buddies and a dog (the dog got the seat to sleep in...i ended up curled up in a ball in the floorboard near where the heat came out....for about 5 minutes each hour!!!) LOL

barb dwyer

hey Shutter -

I'd never heard of a mood stabilizer either... go figure.

LOL about swinging dead cats - only from Huck Finn and removing warts at midnight. In graveyards. Yet another coloquialism.. I'll PM ya about the other.

MT Really *is* a big place and yes - other than CA - probably a large populus of movie stars, and writers, out of work of course - excuse me - between projects - LOL. The big attraction with Butte is Blues Musicians and incognito rock stars pwalking ionmto local bars and jam sessions all nighters.
Butte is about 180 miles NW of Yellowstone.
So the summer nights are about the same for comparative coldness.
Gene Roddenberry lived here (in MT not in Butte) and wrote a good many of his final Star Trek series here, his Copyright attorney was/is my Copyright attorney, (along with about thirty others in the area) quaint little circumstances like that and a couple of dollars will get you a latte'...

This country keeps me going.
The land, the sky, the animals...
I'm here because of the land.
Nothing else.

I love it.

I'll PM ya the other stuff.

historyteach

Hey, Barb;

What's the "much desired" 100 mg of topamax all about?
That's the dose I"m on. I'm liking it, and doing well.
I had tingling in my hands one time only, and thought it was funny, cuz I recognized what it was right away. It never came back.

But, why did your doc call 100 mg a "much desired" dose?

Shalom!

barb dwyer

Teach - I dunno...

she's a pretty good 'talker... but she didn't tell me that... and everyone I know at the club (alano) is also on a minimum of that much....

*things that make you go hmmmmm*

ok now I'm having the catswing anxiety too - so a DISCLAIMER


I *barb dwyer*,,, have not ever, nor do I intend to start - engage in the practice of, or the experimentation therin, of the actual swing o or the experiential performance to swing a dead cat - that is a TURN OF PHRASE, begun by, to the best of my knowledge by MARK TWAIN in his beloved american literature classic HUCKLEBERRY FINN please do NOT PM me, or censor my posts....
geyah.



I had to do that.

heehee

anyhow - I read the last few posts -
the mispellings and dropped words ...
are really beginning to bother me.

Feels like going around with yer skirt tucked into the back of yer panty hose, ya know?

barb dwyer

Back to it -

Teach - I have noticed - a marked decrease in the anxiety.
In 48 hours. Of reaching the 100.

My mind .. such asa it is - can settle so I can meditate-
I can ready my spiritual stuff, I can write my spiritual stuff...

however -

I went in to work last night -
jsut for a little bit.
things there ...
it's a war zone.
two people walked out in the three days I had off.

I've no idea swho's gona be gone when i go back tomorrow night -
myself included.
it's that bad and tense there.

I tried a couple of posts.
TOPO-RAMA.
I got jittery.
Angry.
"disgruntled' .. *snicker*.
And I've got to pull a TEN hour shift there tomorrow night.
The energy there is just terrible.

It's an energy septic tank right now.

SO ...I dunno what's going to happen on that front. I'm just going to get as spiritually fit as I can muster, and hit as many meetings as I can meanwhile.

Clean House
Trust God
Be of Service.

*shrug*

It's all any of us can do, right?

historyteach

Geezzz, Barb...
It sounds almost as bad as my last school! LOL!
I'm sorry. It's horrible to work in a place with that much bad energy.

I laughed about the disclaimer!!! :rof
You certainly have a way with words, there, Barb! LOL! Twain would be proud!

Shalom!

shutterbug

hi Barb...thanks for the PM...my box is full now, so i'm going to have to clean SR mail room before i can reply to said pose. lol....i have such a hard time letting anything go! dang.

i, too, thouht the dislaimer quite amusing!

Sorry to here about the job! that really sucks.

i also got the hand tingling thing...it's happened at least 3-4 times now and really made me stop and wonder why they were tingling! i never thought about it perhaps being a med side affect.

have a great day!

Jenna

StayinAlive

There has been a rise in the number of cats in therapy located in Montana. Many felines find the need to take meds for depression, anxiety, PTS and mood swings. Most wont even go out doors. The culprit? A serial cat swinger seen whipping dead cats around and around by the tail in an effort to specifically strike writers .

Disturbing? Yes. Ludicrous? Indeed. What would inspire such a heinous act? Some say its the writings of Mark Twain and retailers are pulling his books of the shelves. Authorities are checking possible leads on a disgruntled Hotel worker but so far the search for her has turned up nothing.

Reporting live from Butte Montana, I'm StayinAlive the cat whisperer.

Hi Barb

shutterbug

!!!!!!
Writen like a pro!

barb dwyer

:rof

****{stayin}}}


also blows any mystery about why I prefer MANX ...

barb dwyer

three.

three people.

two walk out.

one fired.

wow.

whadda zoo.

historyteach

Ai yi yai!!!
Not a healthy place to work!

Stayin
That was a RIOT!!!

Shalom!

barb dwyer

you get the whole BOOMERANG thing goin on with a manx....

barb dwyer

and no not healthy at all...

update on meds - the leveling out seems to be continuing ... but frankly - I'm OVER this.

I'm just waiting on the transfre of my old records - and let's get a'goin on the old stuff .. get these people to stop trying to teach this old dog new tricks - expecially when the old dog in question ... can make a fairly lucrative livin off'n the OLD meds, ya know?

this new stuff... I am startin' to think ... not.

teach um's ... I'm just not havin a great feelin' about the whole thing, ya know?