Step 2
Step 2 
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
A HP, Sanity & Restoration
Coming to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity is a process that has no set time frame. For some of us the process is simple, and it may bring immediate results. Yet, I’ve learned that I must continually rely on a Power greater than myself to help prevent me from making the same old mistakes, reverting to the same old diseased thinking, and acting out on old behaviors.
From the start, being restored to sanity meant I didn’t have to use drugs anymore. By going to meetings and listening to members share their experience, strength and hope, I came to believe that recovery was possible for me too. Just watching other addicts stay clean was overwhelming proof that a Power greater than myself was at work.
As I kept coming back (and coming back clean) my hope turned into faith because my life began to improve. The obsession to use had been lifted and the fog began to clear. The hugs, the love and encouragement I received from the group were also examples of a Power that helped me begin to heal. Through practicing the principle of open-mindedness, I learned that I could stop relying totally on my own thinking and I also learned to reach out – even if it was nothing more than sharing my thoughts with other addicts and listening to their input. This act, in itself, assisted my process of being restored, because through the principle of humility, I once again became teachable.
My belief, faith and trust is now backed up by personal experience and my understanding of a Higher Power has changed since I’ve been in recovery. Although I still see this power in the program, the group and the God of my understanding, the expressions are deeper and sometimes hard to explain.
Being restored to sanity is a life-long process, yet I’ve found that it doesn’t have to be a difficult process if I accept the fact that I have a disease that is progressive, incurable and fatal. This means working a thorough 1st Step and accepting that I can’t recover alone. Step Two won’t work without Step one.
My insanity is not difficult to see when I get honest about the things I subjected myself to (or still experience without drugs). For me, insanity isn’t just repeating the same things, or same mistakes, over and over again. It is my expectation of a different result that exposes the root of my problem (my thinking). Whether it is a mistake or intentional, the flawed expectation (created by self-centeredness) is what always drove me away from reality.
Coming to believe was fairly simple for me, yet restoration has more to be revealed. By continuing to rely on a Power greater than myself – the program, the fellowship and God, together – just for today I’m able to make some choices and decisions that improve my life instead of destroying it. Slowly but surely I’m being restored.
From the start, being restored to sanity meant I didn’t have to use drugs anymore. By going to meetings and listening to members share their experience, strength and hope, I came to believe that recovery was possible for me too. Just watching other addicts stay clean was overwhelming proof that a Power greater than myself was at work.
As I kept coming back (and coming back clean) my hope turned into faith because my life began to improve. The obsession to use had been lifted and the fog began to clear. The hugs, the love and encouragement I received from the group were also examples of a Power that helped me begin to heal. Through practicing the principle of open-mindedness, I learned that I could stop relying totally on my own thinking and I also learned to reach out – even if it was nothing more than sharing my thoughts with other addicts and listening to their input. This act, in itself, assisted my process of being restored, because through the principle of humility, I once again became teachable.
My belief, faith and trust is now backed up by personal experience and my understanding of a Higher Power has changed since I’ve been in recovery. Although I still see this power in the program, the group and the God of my understanding, the expressions are deeper and sometimes hard to explain.
Being restored to sanity is a life-long process, yet I’ve found that it doesn’t have to be a difficult process if I accept the fact that I have a disease that is progressive, incurable and fatal. This means working a thorough 1st Step and accepting that I can’t recover alone. Step Two won’t work without Step one.
My insanity is not difficult to see when I get honest about the things I subjected myself to (or still experience without drugs). For me, insanity isn’t just repeating the same things, or same mistakes, over and over again. It is my expectation of a different result that exposes the root of my problem (my thinking). Whether it is a mistake or intentional, the flawed expectation (created by self-centeredness) is what always drove me away from reality.
Coming to believe was fairly simple for me, yet restoration has more to be revealed. By continuing to rely on a Power greater than myself – the program, the fellowship and God, together – just for today I’m able to make some choices and decisions that improve my life instead of destroying it. Slowly but surely I’m being restored.
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
Yeah I surrender to that one really Quick I did Believe that a Power Greater
than my self could restore me back to sanity, But here is were I would fall of
the waiting process expecting miracles over night Gees what and In-sanity
Behavior Like God was going to give me a Quick fix that's crazy
than my self could restore me back to sanity, But here is were I would fall of
the waiting process expecting miracles over night Gees what and In-sanity
Behavior Like God was going to give me a Quick fix that's crazy
sandyshores
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Marsh Harbor,Abaco Bahamas
Posts: 6
I love it,this post is awesome,I understand it just as you do and you put into words what I've tried to explain but couldn't get my thoughts in alignment as to how you posted this.wow.exciting.I feel the same way.This gives me hope. I am not where I was last year this time I know how much I have grown in recovery and come to believe that this is a process and not a one time deal,my way never worked but my insane thinking was telling me it would, that its a decease and will come back if I don't humble myself and work the program and remain in conscious contact with my higher power.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2
this step comes quickly to me... i have always believed there is something up there. there for step two was dont almost instantly. Life is the miracle all we have is today so live it out loud... for me wakin up with a smile on my face, feet on the ground, and a heart beat in my chest is plenty miracle for me
Rebecca
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 9
Re: Step Two
My name is Rebecca (beccaflight9) and I am a cocaine addict and have Bipolar Disorder Type I. I have recently had another relapse (this makes three) since I began C/A and A/A in June '08. I started with N/A about 2 1/2 months ago and really get a lot out of it, as well as liking the people in n/a. But since June '08 I had mostly clean times but with binges at around the 2 to 4 month mark.
My trouble began last February when I fell in love with cocaine. In May '08 I went to the hospital to get clean because I knew I could not stop and was terrified and paranoid. I had continued to stay clean over the summer but was in the hospital 2 times over the summer and was in again in November, but proceeded to relapse again one week later.
I thought I was doing fine and approaching the 2 month mark, then relapsed and binged. The insanity is back andI now have begun to spiral down into the pit of hell and depression, from being up for about 27 hours of using last week Wednesday. I am bipolar and that is just suicide and insanity. I was in bed for 4 days last week just due to pure exhaustion. Because I had so stressed my body, I got a herpes infection in my eye and my vision was completely blurred. I cannot, at this time, tell what will happen with my mind. I feel a nervous breakdown (exhaustion also) coming due to the imbalance of the chemicals in my brain, and the act of the relapse itself. I have been reworking Step One with my sponsor, but Step Two is now in progress right now. I pray God that He can and will restore me to sanity. I suffering of living through addiction has nearly consumed me and the emotional and psychological pain is such that I need my meds to put me out. When I sleep I have very bad dreams and wake up crying. I have been crying for the last week. I have lost connection with the world again, and fear I am dissociating from my feelings and mind.
Please help me to stay sober tomorrow. Please respond to let me know who you are and maybe this website can help me make it through the pain and suffering of a relapse from an incurable obsession and compulsion with cocaine. I am, in fact, a crackhead.
I am 53 years-old and acted impulsively and out of control. My body and mind cannot take this drug and it will kill me in the end without continued sobriety. My emotions feel dead and distored and my body is wracked up and broken. My mind is broken also. Getting hit by a train would be a better option, for at least you may not feel so much pain when you get hit... (joke)?
So, whoever is out there, please talk to me so I can make it through the next hours tonight and into the morning. When I wake I feel terror and panic; my heart races and my thoughts are horrible. I have been going back to bed to sleep to avoid the horror of life right now. I just want to make it to a meeting tomorrow and hope to get to an online meeting tomorrow night here. This is all new to me, but I like the "extras" this site has to offer.
Thanks for listening, and know I am praying and taking it one minute at a time and taking it easy (as easy as I am capable of right now!)
Beccaflight9
(Rebecca)
My trouble began last February when I fell in love with cocaine. In May '08 I went to the hospital to get clean because I knew I could not stop and was terrified and paranoid. I had continued to stay clean over the summer but was in the hospital 2 times over the summer and was in again in November, but proceeded to relapse again one week later.
I thought I was doing fine and approaching the 2 month mark, then relapsed and binged. The insanity is back andI now have begun to spiral down into the pit of hell and depression, from being up for about 27 hours of using last week Wednesday. I am bipolar and that is just suicide and insanity. I was in bed for 4 days last week just due to pure exhaustion. Because I had so stressed my body, I got a herpes infection in my eye and my vision was completely blurred. I cannot, at this time, tell what will happen with my mind. I feel a nervous breakdown (exhaustion also) coming due to the imbalance of the chemicals in my brain, and the act of the relapse itself. I have been reworking Step One with my sponsor, but Step Two is now in progress right now. I pray God that He can and will restore me to sanity. I suffering of living through addiction has nearly consumed me and the emotional and psychological pain is such that I need my meds to put me out. When I sleep I have very bad dreams and wake up crying. I have been crying for the last week. I have lost connection with the world again, and fear I am dissociating from my feelings and mind.
Please help me to stay sober tomorrow. Please respond to let me know who you are and maybe this website can help me make it through the pain and suffering of a relapse from an incurable obsession and compulsion with cocaine. I am, in fact, a crackhead.
I am 53 years-old and acted impulsively and out of control. My body and mind cannot take this drug and it will kill me in the end without continued sobriety. My emotions feel dead and distored and my body is wracked up and broken. My mind is broken also. Getting hit by a train would be a better option, for at least you may not feel so much pain when you get hit... (joke)?
So, whoever is out there, please talk to me so I can make it through the next hours tonight and into the morning. When I wake I feel terror and panic; my heart races and my thoughts are horrible. I have been going back to bed to sleep to avoid the horror of life right now. I just want to make it to a meeting tomorrow and hope to get to an online meeting tomorrow night here. This is all new to me, but I like the "extras" this site has to offer.
Thanks for listening, and know I am praying and taking it one minute at a time and taking it easy (as easy as I am capable of right now!)
Beccaflight9
(Rebecca)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 34
I have a hard time with this step. I easy gave into step 1. I know I am an addict of everything, not just drugs. I know I need help and cant do it alone. I have swapped addicitons to cover the fact that I cleaned up with the other. When in fact, I just shifted to narcotics instead of booze. I cant control this.
I have been for a large part of my life an aethiest, or agnostic. I can't accept that there is someone or something that is in control of my actions. I am the only one in control.
However, I can't help but feel something led me to make the decision to become sober. My decision was not triggered by anything other than I knew I was headed down a bad path.
I have to find an NA meeting in my area, but the website doesn't list one in my small town. I am looking at a long drive in the evenings. Northwest Montana in the wintertime can make that difficult.
How does one find it, feel it, or know when a higher power is in control?
I will pray, It may seem silly to me. I don't even know who I am talking to, but i will give it a try.
I have been for a large part of my life an aethiest, or agnostic. I can't accept that there is someone or something that is in control of my actions. I am the only one in control.
However, I can't help but feel something led me to make the decision to become sober. My decision was not triggered by anything other than I knew I was headed down a bad path.
I have to find an NA meeting in my area, but the website doesn't list one in my small town. I am looking at a long drive in the evenings. Northwest Montana in the wintertime can make that difficult.
How does one find it, feel it, or know when a higher power is in control?
I will pray, It may seem silly to me. I don't even know who I am talking to, but i will give it a try.
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Rebecca,
I'm an ex-crackhead and NA helped me save my life. I certainly relate to your pain and suffering. What you need to know is, recovery is possible and you can do it. If you can't make it to a meeting tonight or call someone in recovery to talk with...just hang out here with us at SR. There's always someone popping in and out that can share their ES&H with you. There may even be an NA Helpline in your area that you can call. Do your best not to use TODAY and tomorrow get yourself to a meeting...introduce yourself...get phone numbers...reach out. Help is available.
UncleChunky,
If you scroll back and read my post you'll see that nowhere in it do I mention a God/HP controlling anything. IMO, that isn't what Step 2 is about. Step 2 is about coming to believe that a Power greater than yourself (whatever you want to call it) can restore you to sanity. Many of us struggle with this step because we project to Step 3 or interpret it to mean we have to be converted. Such is not the case. NA is not a religious program.
Do you believe that NA works? Do you believe that it has worked in the lives of others? Do you believe it can work for you? Do you believe that others can help you? If your answers are yes, then you really have no problem with Step 2. The program of NA is a Power greater than me, and the fellowship is a Power greater than me. Step 2 is an exercise in open-mindedness....opening your mind to the possibility that SOMETHING or SOMEONE can help me to do what I could not do alone: recover.
tflms
I'm an ex-crackhead and NA helped me save my life. I certainly relate to your pain and suffering. What you need to know is, recovery is possible and you can do it. If you can't make it to a meeting tonight or call someone in recovery to talk with...just hang out here with us at SR. There's always someone popping in and out that can share their ES&H with you. There may even be an NA Helpline in your area that you can call. Do your best not to use TODAY and tomorrow get yourself to a meeting...introduce yourself...get phone numbers...reach out. Help is available.
UncleChunky,
If you scroll back and read my post you'll see that nowhere in it do I mention a God/HP controlling anything. IMO, that isn't what Step 2 is about. Step 2 is about coming to believe that a Power greater than yourself (whatever you want to call it) can restore you to sanity. Many of us struggle with this step because we project to Step 3 or interpret it to mean we have to be converted. Such is not the case. NA is not a religious program.
I know I need help and cant do it alone.
tflms
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
This step helped me to see the need to stop my way of doing things. It started the process of accepting responsibility for my life. i became aware of the harm i had done to myself by blaming people, places, and things. It helped me to realize the futility of trying to fix my past with what i was still doing each day clean. i started to see the patterns of inconsistency between my words and my actions. i became intolerant enough of my self destructive and self defeating ways to surrender them to a power greater than myself.
As i continue to allow this step to find it's way deeper into my life, i am much happier, calmer, and saner. Believing i can be restored to sanity is an ongoing process for me because of my self obsessive tendancies. i don't resort to my thinking as often, but i do have lapses. i reach out again to that power that keeps me clean and ask to be willing to accept the sanity that is available to me. i still feel as though i need to have something different every once in awhile, but a better way continues to be proven in my life because i remain committed to my recovery.
As i continue to allow this step to find it's way deeper into my life, i am much happier, calmer, and saner. Believing i can be restored to sanity is an ongoing process for me because of my self obsessive tendancies. i don't resort to my thinking as often, but i do have lapses. i reach out again to that power that keeps me clean and ask to be willing to accept the sanity that is available to me. i still feel as though i need to have something different every once in awhile, but a better way continues to be proven in my life because i remain committed to my recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Miami, Florida
Posts: 2
Believe God can restore your sanity?
I guess it would take a miracle, and that is what it comes to. I have been sober since October 14, 1988, but have been crazy if not crazier even though drug free. Lots of other addictive behaviors and lots of insanity and stupidity and self destruction. A waste of a life. Now I come to see that only God can save my soul and only God can restore my Sanity. I pray to God for sanity and guidance and salvation. Please God help me. :praying
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: marion ky.
Posts: 1
I am on day 2 of codine withdrawl. I have the shakes,haft to stay close to the bathroom, cant sleep at night. pluss i'm quiting smokeing too, and my wife has left me,due to an arguement. my have been related to withdrawl , not sure. or maybe i just need an exscues. court 16 th. of june . hope everything turns out ok. need all the prayers i can get.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: worthington, oh
Posts: 11
okay i am trying to find the reasoning in all of this, i am two days without, i do beleive in a higher power but i just cant seem to find it latly, so just keep praying for me
Last edited by hidemypain; 06-29-2009 at 08:30 AM. Reason: lost
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 2
My name is Courtney, and I'm a heroin addict. I know there has to be a power Greater than myself to keep me clean for 8 months now. I know I couldn't be doing this on my own. For me, my Greater Power is the fellowship of NA and God. Without the fellowship, I'd probably be dead. That's why I have the NA symbol tattooed on me...it saved my life. If it can work for me, it can work for anyone. I'm now sane, and fully aware of my surroundings. Life is good.
FREAKING AWESOME!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Paris KY
Posts: 255
This is hard for me to accept because I used to know God before I used. I was a devoted Christian and now I feel like I am so far away from God, why in the world would he help me now. Why do I deserve to have him take my life. I know I am an addict, I know I am powerless, I know my life is unmanagable which is more the reason to have God! I just can't seem to find him, I can't get in the habit of medatation or prayer. I feel like I am going crazy, I should really get to a meeting but this is a small town and I am a shy girl. So, I don't know. If you all can give me any advice I would appreciate it. I am only nine days clean and new to recovery. I am an addict to opiates and my body is still going through it. So, I really need you guys right now!! I have no one else feel free to leave me a message!
Thanks,
Ashlee
Thanks,
Ashlee
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: fairfax va
Posts: 2
One day at a time love and believe in yourself, love JM 
Originally Posted by beccaflight9 
My name is Rebecca (beccaflight9) and I am a cocaine addict and have Bipolar Disorder Type I. I have recently had another relapse (this makes three) since I began C/A and A/A in June '08. I started with N/A about 2 1/2 months ago and really get a lot out of it, as well as liking the people in n/a. But since June '08 I had mostly clean times but with binges at around the 2 to 4 month mark.
My trouble began last February when I fell in love with cocaine. In May '08 I went to the hospital to get clean because I knew I could not stop and was terrified and paranoid. I had continued to stay clean over the summer but was in the hospital 2 times over the summer and was in again in November, but proceeded to relapse again one week later.
I thought I was doing fine and approaching the 2 month mark, then relapsed and binged. The insanity is back andI now have begun to spiral down into the pit of hell and depression, from being up for about 27 hours of using last week Wednesday. I am bipolar and that is just suicide and insanity. I was in bed for 4 days last week just due to pure exhaustion. Because I had so stressed my body, I got a herpes infection in my eye and my vision was completely blurred. I cannot, at this time, tell what will happen with my mind. I feel a nervous breakdown (exhaustion also) coming due to the imbalance of the chemicals in my brain, and the act of the relapse itself. I have been reworking Step One with my sponsor, but Step Two is now in progress right now. I pray God that He can and will restore me to sanity. I suffering of living through addiction has nearly consumed me and the emotional and psychological pain is such that I need my meds to put me out. When I sleep I have very bad dreams and wake up crying. I have been crying for the last week. I have lost connection with the world again, and fear I am dissociating from my feelings and mind.
Please help me to stay sober tomorrow. Please respond to let me know who you are and maybe this website can help me make it through the pain and suffering of a relapse from an incurable obsession and compulsion with cocaine. I am, in fact, a crackhead.
I am 53 years-old and acted impulsively and out of control. My body and mind cannot take this drug and it will kill me in the end without continued sobriety. My emotions feel dead and distored and my body is wracked up and broken. My mind is broken also. Getting hit by a train would be a better option, for at least you may not feel so much pain when you get hit... (joke)?
So, whoever is out there, please talk to me so I can make it through the next hours tonight and into the morning. When I wake I feel terror and panic; my heart races and my thoughts are horrible. I have been going back to bed to sleep to avoid the horror of life right now. I just want to make it to a meeting tomorrow and hope to get to an online meeting tomorrow night here. This is all new to me, but I like the "extras" this site has to offer.
Thanks for listening, and know I am praying and taking it one minute at a time and taking it easy (as easy as I am capable of right now!)
Beccaflight9
(Rebecca)
My trouble began last February when I fell in love with cocaine. In May '08 I went to the hospital to get clean because I knew I could not stop and was terrified and paranoid. I had continued to stay clean over the summer but was in the hospital 2 times over the summer and was in again in November, but proceeded to relapse again one week later.
I thought I was doing fine and approaching the 2 month mark, then relapsed and binged. The insanity is back andI now have begun to spiral down into the pit of hell and depression, from being up for about 27 hours of using last week Wednesday. I am bipolar and that is just suicide and insanity. I was in bed for 4 days last week just due to pure exhaustion. Because I had so stressed my body, I got a herpes infection in my eye and my vision was completely blurred. I cannot, at this time, tell what will happen with my mind. I feel a nervous breakdown (exhaustion also) coming due to the imbalance of the chemicals in my brain, and the act of the relapse itself. I have been reworking Step One with my sponsor, but Step Two is now in progress right now. I pray God that He can and will restore me to sanity. I suffering of living through addiction has nearly consumed me and the emotional and psychological pain is such that I need my meds to put me out. When I sleep I have very bad dreams and wake up crying. I have been crying for the last week. I have lost connection with the world again, and fear I am dissociating from my feelings and mind.
Please help me to stay sober tomorrow. Please respond to let me know who you are and maybe this website can help me make it through the pain and suffering of a relapse from an incurable obsession and compulsion with cocaine. I am, in fact, a crackhead.
I am 53 years-old and acted impulsively and out of control. My body and mind cannot take this drug and it will kill me in the end without continued sobriety. My emotions feel dead and distored and my body is wracked up and broken. My mind is broken also. Getting hit by a train would be a better option, for at least you may not feel so much pain when you get hit... (joke)?
So, whoever is out there, please talk to me so I can make it through the next hours tonight and into the morning. When I wake I feel terror and panic; my heart races and my thoughts are horrible. I have been going back to bed to sleep to avoid the horror of life right now. I just want to make it to a meeting tomorrow and hope to get to an online meeting tomorrow night here. This is all new to me, but I like the "extras" this site has to offer.
Thanks for listening, and know I am praying and taking it one minute at a time and taking it easy (as easy as I am capable of right now!)
Beccaflight9
(Rebecca)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...and thanks for your thoughts Foley
..
This is an old thread in our NA Step study Forum...most of these members are no longer here.
Here is the correct Forum for you to find support and understanding
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
..
This is an old thread in our NA Step study Forum...most of these members are no longer here.
Here is the correct Forum for you to find support and understanding
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
