Anxiety in divorce - First year
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1
Anxiety in divorce - First year
hello, I am new here and hoping to find some help.
My spouse left me for a variety of reasons (including alcoholism) and I began AA about a week later. I was 27 and am now 28. I began about a year ago and have had continuous sobriety since Jan 2nd ( I reset my sobriety date after a suicide attempt). It's been a tremendously difficult year. My ex cut me off for months (my addiction included an affair), I had to move home with my parents cross country. The ex couldn't care less about my getting help in AA. I recently returned from NY and have suffered unrelenting anxiety and depression since. I am scared to be alone, AA has been a savior but I certainly have never had the pink cloud people speak of. I still cry every day. I pray, I go to meetings, but it's still unrelenting. I know for a fact that anxiety is the reason I drank. We had our official divorce court hearing this Friday.
I should add that in my time at home I worked my twelve steps and attended daily meetings. I was feeling okay, in the womb of my parents but also frustrated as I was in an isolated place, missing what I enjoy.
I recently got into a new relationship (after being separated for over a year and with the approval of my sponsor) and this provokes anxiety as well. He's sober too (though i didn't meet him via AA). In a way I am glad my anxiety has continued with this relationship, that I don't use him as a crutch but rather as another form of support.
I just need to know it's get better. Has anyone else gone through a divorce in the first year?
thanks, Kerry
My spouse left me for a variety of reasons (including alcoholism) and I began AA about a week later. I was 27 and am now 28. I began about a year ago and have had continuous sobriety since Jan 2nd ( I reset my sobriety date after a suicide attempt). It's been a tremendously difficult year. My ex cut me off for months (my addiction included an affair), I had to move home with my parents cross country. The ex couldn't care less about my getting help in AA. I recently returned from NY and have suffered unrelenting anxiety and depression since. I am scared to be alone, AA has been a savior but I certainly have never had the pink cloud people speak of. I still cry every day. I pray, I go to meetings, but it's still unrelenting. I know for a fact that anxiety is the reason I drank. We had our official divorce court hearing this Friday.
I should add that in my time at home I worked my twelve steps and attended daily meetings. I was feeling okay, in the womb of my parents but also frustrated as I was in an isolated place, missing what I enjoy.
I recently got into a new relationship (after being separated for over a year and with the approval of my sponsor) and this provokes anxiety as well. He's sober too (though i didn't meet him via AA). In a way I am glad my anxiety has continued with this relationship, that I don't use him as a crutch but rather as another form of support.
I just need to know it's get better. Has anyone else gone through a divorce in the first year?
thanks, Kerry
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northen Europe and France
Posts: 1,657
Hello Xix,
Welcome to this board. You will find help and support, and you need it, as you´re going through lots and lots of changes. It´s normal it takes toll on you.
I was very anxious after I got clean and sober and in my experience, most people are because this is a lifechanging event. Congratulations on your sobriety, well done.
Moving, breaking up with a boyfriend, beginning a new relationship, all this is incredibly stressful.
I would take it one day at a time, even one hour at a time. Keep things real simple. This should lessen the anxiety, and if you can, see a therapist. When you stop drinking, a huge amount of energy is freed. It takes a while to readjust it, so be kind to yourself and give it time.
Love and light,
Welcome to this board. You will find help and support, and you need it, as you´re going through lots and lots of changes. It´s normal it takes toll on you.
I was very anxious after I got clean and sober and in my experience, most people are because this is a lifechanging event. Congratulations on your sobriety, well done.
Moving, breaking up with a boyfriend, beginning a new relationship, all this is incredibly stressful.
I would take it one day at a time, even one hour at a time. Keep things real simple. This should lessen the anxiety, and if you can, see a therapist. When you stop drinking, a huge amount of energy is freed. It takes a while to readjust it, so be kind to yourself and give it time.
Love and light,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ft Worth, TX
Posts: 174
Yeah, you should definitely be seeing a therapist or counsellor on a regular basis, if you're not already. Are you taking any meds for the anxiety or depression? Are you seeing a mental health professional? There is a lot of help available and I hope you take advantage of that, especially given your suicide attempt. There really IS a lot to live for and life can be great, but some of us need a little help figuring out how to make that happen. I think you can have a good and happy life but you're gonna need some professional help to figure out how.
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