akimmel1302

Well i still get depressed almost everyday...the worst part? I know i shouldn't....i know what to do when i am depressed, i know that it is a comfort zone for me, i know that it is just something i do to sit in my pity and take the easy way out, and i know that i crave being depressed and its one of my biggest defects....the other thing is i have no reason to be!!!

5 good things in my life which prove i shouldnt be depressed..
1) Ive been sober for a year now and am continuing to go to AA and work the steps and things like that so that i can stay sober
2) I have a place to live where my 2 best friends live and a great role model
3) my family relationship is awesome and i get along better than ever with my family now
4) I have a job that allows me service work and a way to give back to others being a peer counselour (sp?) at a teen drug treatment center where i get paid not a lot but i dont have bills so it doesnt matter
5) and i really have no worries...i am ina position to completely focus on myself and helping others without having too much stress in my life....

Now let me ask you this...Why am i still sitting in my depression?
You may say i need medicine but i have been on it and i feel like i do not...i just need to stay out of this depression but it is hard because i feed off of it....and its worse becasue i know all of that and when i am sitting in the depression i say to myself...."i am feeding off of my depression because it is a comfort zone"

im just a crazy alcoholic i guess.....Any help? Oh man.

reader

First off, great job on staying sober.... No, you are not a crazy alcoholic. I think just the opposite I think u are strong person in recovery. I know that when I was 1st given diagnosis of manic depression I was in denial. I did not fill the script I even trough it out, well next time I had an episode I could no longer keep my head in the sand. I would suggest u see a Dr. and let them know your symptoms. I feel 85-95% better, yes I still have bad days but compared to how I use to be a major improvement. The things that u said #1-5 were the exact things I said to my Dr. and he said that has nothing to do with it, your body isn't making enough serotonin. I would suggest u get to the doctor. Know u are not alone in this battle.

PaperDolls

Well......I'm a crazy alcoholic so I can relate. :ghug3

I've been dealing with depression for a long time now. I think mine really came to the surface after I quit drinking (nearly 2 years ago). I've been in search of the right medication to treat my depression since then. At the moment I'm on a combo of meds that's working for me.

I can relate to some of what you said. When It was bad for me, I was depressed because I was depressed. It really is a vicious circle. A therapist of mine told me I tend to want someone to take care of me. It really struck a cord with me and I'm trying to be more aware of that about myself. Trying to be more independent.

Since I can remember, I've always wanted someone to notice me and recognize that I need help and then get me the help. It never did happen. No one ever offered help to me. I finally started helping myself.

I think a lot of people are able to get out of their depression without meds. I don't think I would have. Do you see a therapist for talk therapy? It could help?

shutterbug

i'm sorry, but i didn't even bother to read your list of reasons why you shouldn't be depressed. There are 2 general types of depression: situational and clinical. Situational is the kind people talk about when they say "snap out of it" or "what do YOU have to be depressed about your life is perfect compared to most"(they don't realize that there is any kind of different depression other than the kind they've experienced when they had a toy taken away as a child so they think telling someone not to be depressed is a possiblity) Clinical depression is caused by chemical changes in the brain...it truely is a physical illness that manifests itself into emotions, hopelessness, low energy and lowered immune system and other things of course.

You could be the richest person in the world with NO life problems and still could be the most depressed person in the world. Someone in your life has made you think you can control your depression by your thoughts and will power. not true.

i'm sorry, but i just don't agree with most of what you've said here. That kind of mentality is why there are still so many stigmas surrounding depression and mental illness.

I think a bit of education about clinical depression is in order.

Also, most of the time depression is only a symptom of something greater at work. Find out what that root illness is and you will be one step closer to learning how to keep your body and mind healthy. (oh and depression can be caused from diabetis, thyroid malfunction, sleep apnea, other sleep disorders, as well as mental illnesses and other possible root illnesses).

It's your puzzle to solve, but it's an excellent first step by posting here and talking aobut things.

welcome,
hugs,
best wishes,
jenna

shutterbug

Doll.... a lot of people may "seem" to get out of depression without meds, but that's only what it looks like. Usually what is happening is a cycle at work and the depression will return without meds. The depression going away is almost always going to be temporary.