GailJ

don't think I can hold out till Oct 1. Life is hell there is an apartment advertised right beside work. Have no faith is the other apartment. Check it out by cab tommoraw. ot involved with hubs at all or his friends. sorry burbling.

sunkensky

If you can't hold out maybe there is a shelter in a nearby city you could go to??

bluenena

Gail I sorry you are having such a hard time. Hang in there.

Lots of Hugs,

GailJ

There ar no sheters here. I will go check out the other apt tomorrow. Right beside work and no phone. the other apt is hubbys friend and his wife. She is madcause I told hubs she also took full advantage years ago and does not want hubby to know. dicking me around so I will get right out the realm completely. Guess people cant handle truth. My joho upbringing coming back to haunt me. Its a big world not the be alll end all. just have to face it and live it. Am Hamging in there. thanks

GailJ

thankyou all you are my only support. your real and real people who do care. thankyou

GailJ

truth is truth

GailJ

good morning I am here, I am locking myself away today. Just need a day off of stress and decievers. I have my seven kittens with me to keep me occupied mother got killed on the road and we picked her up yesterday on my way to work. hub buried her yesterday. Kittens had fist hard food and still have to wipe them to help them go doo doo. not sober still bingiging and probably till I see doc on monday.
At least I'm safe. You guys and kittens. love you all.

GailJ

two panick attack todayso far.I give, I am binging big time. So tired of defending self and just so damned tired. Havn't the energy to fight off the labels. going to be vey drunk thats what everybody here thinks and expects. Hubby has trained them well. Damn it I hate them all and mysel more fore giving in.

GailJ

just had a fiill infrom grandma on my boys.not good. but at least I know whats going on truthfully. Still bingding. Why......................

sunkensky

Maybe you could try to sleep.

GailJ

have slept, probably rank more beer today than I have my entire life, completely anorexic and waiting fo tomorrow. Declined the apartment by phone. hubbys friends not mine but still will find my way out. Saw hub and hs new friend at barn, he asked why there are no ribbons on car for mental health. Hubbytold meto **** off. I did

GailJ

Will sleep more

GailJ

I think I give up girls and guys. Tomorrow I leave this world. nobody cares anyway except on here. Have it all planed out Just can't take any more abuse.

Lilya

Gail,

Please read this Sticky: If You Are Feeling Suicidal by Morning Glory.

Please get some help. Call a hotline now.

Love and light.

GailJ

Im sorry a weak moment and binged really heavily yesterday. I'm ok sick, embarrassed, ashamed, seeing psychiatrist tommorow. this breaking up stuff is getting to me. sometimes I don't think I'll ever get over the abuse, feel like i'm going crazy over it, think maybe time to see a therapist as well, Will set it up when I get moved into town and join AA.