Trying.

I am having trouble trying to calm my insides this afternoon. Something silly happened that has caused me to go all over the place, nothing I drink won't make worse, I know :-(

ANyways my hubby who is very supportive to me, we've been married 21 yrs, his a "normie" in the most obvious of meanings, well our neighbours had a visitor who blocked our drive with his motor bike, its not the first time, but its not like everyday it happens.

Hubby came back from the shops in the car, and edged the car into the drive regardless of the bike partially blocking it and hit the guys indicator light.

I didn't know this until the guy knocked and told my husband that the light had been cracked. Hubby was so angry and told the guy to f**k off as he shouldnt have blocked out drive.

I sat in the background knowing that there isn't any legal laws saying the guy couldnt park outside our property, and the guy said he coulld make an insurance claim, which I knew would cause us more aggro, so I shouted out to hubby to pay the guy for the damage.

The guy was being very calm and reasonable and I felt myself being embarrassed at my husbands immaturity :-(

The guy come back with a bill for the damge £30, and hubby paid him and basically just shut the door in his face.

I'ive kept outwardly calm and not said anything to hubby apart from we had no legal leg to stand on.

I've done worse then this in my active drinking days and hubby has to endure this in the past, but no matter how much I tell myself all of this, I feel afriad, let down because I needed to know that hubby could take care of everything :-(

I know this will past eventually, but I feel so awful, and and me and awful and anxiety get manic..

I need someone to give an objective take on the situation. Am I over-reacting??

bostonluv

That's life. It's just something that happened. I understand your frustration. I tend to blow small things out of proportion in my mind and chew on them until they become BIG things. This isn't one of them. Let it go, take a walk, tease your husband today about something. Laugh about it or something else. It's a small thing, don't let this have so much power over you to send you tail spinning. Let it go!!!

Trying.

[QUOTE=bostonluv;1471892]That's life. It's just something that happened. I understand your frustration. I tend to blow small things out of proportion in my mind and chew on them until they become BIG things. This isn't one of them. Let it go, QUOTE]


Thanks. I feel a twit, but alas, my head will do its thing.

mike_mass

Let it go...be happy that something worse is not going on in your life.

stevie g

If someone was injured or worse during this incident, how much worse you would feel?...its just 'things' that got broken, probably your hubby's ego was damaged too!...I am as equally guilty of letting things get out of proportion, I flipped today...and I mean really lost it!...just because my stepson rang to say he still hasn't got a job and needs the sanctuary of home again, just as I thought he was making it on his own....I think its all part of being human...if there isn't a problem then somehow we find one even though what we latch onto is reallyno big deal.....just wondering what it will be tomorrow?!

Trying.

I think seeing my hubbys blind anger reminded me of my fathers blind anger and I always was trying to "fix" the atmosphere.

I spent the rest of last night fighting and fighting the inner frustration I felt, then this morning it just hit me, I cannot fix anyone by me.

Simple but not so easy eh?

Thanks for taking the time to read my post.

Morning Glory

This is what we call a trigger in the anxiety world.

Sometimes the triggers are good and help us work though a past issue it brings up. I've experienced the same thing trying to fix the atmosphere. Circumstances will trigger that old childhood fear and I am tempted to fall back into the coping method of trying to fix the problem to get myself out of harms way.

It takes time to work it through and your reaction was not stupid at all. Your reaction was normal caused by abnormal childhood circumstances. We have to learn to replace those old childhood coping methods with new adult coping methods and that takes time and creates fear because it feels like a huge risk to us.

The suggestion you made to your husband was a good suggestion.