Introvrtd1

Its that feeling of unease. Not necessarily a full blown panic attack, but just an annoying little disturbance in the pit of your stomach.

Up at 3am this morn wide awake. Went to last nite at 10:30.

Cant really sit still. Gotta move around. Look out the window. Still dark out. Pacing around the house in the dark while all are asleep. Guess I'll flip on the tv. Be careful of what to watch. NO NEWS. Its all bad anyway. May trigger anxiety.

I'll pop some vit b, c. Makes me feel kinda better.

historyteach

Sorry to hear about the trouble you're feeling, and the consequence of it keeping you awake. I've been up most nights lately myself. Like you, not a panic attack, but, the pit of the stomach thing that tells us something's amiss.
I usually come on the puter; watch the late show with Jay Leno for a giggle or two and go back to bed in a few hours. But, it's not a long term solution. And I know I have to do something about it. I'm just worried cuz, meds effect me strongly, and I have to be careful about which ones I take.
I have used Trazadone in the past with good effects. I may call my doc again for some.
Hope you get some restful sleep soon. Feel free to post again. If I'm up, I'll look for you!

Shalom!

mike_mass

I get this a few times a month. I have found that concentrating on breathing helps. Also have cut caffeine and am trying to wean myself off sweets.

nakur

Falling asleep is really a nightmare for me since I quit drinking. I won't go to bed before 2 am and then I have to do breathing exercises for one more hour to prevent a panic attack before finally falling asleep. Needless to say I wake up very tired almost at noon...

Introvrtd1

I think every time I feel this way or another, I like to think it had something to do with what I ate (or drank) before bed.

Feelin kinda hungry last nite I ate a whole box (12 pack) of breaded mozzerella sticks. First, I rarely eat after 7pm, second, I havent had mozzerella sticks in several years.

With this condition, I kinda keep an eye on what I eat, drink, do. I take notice and try to remember what took place just before a p/a. Usually I can narrow it down to food or drink.

Okay, now Im a little shaky.

Just have to wait till this passes.

Introvrtd1

Dont really do caffeine. Not taking any meds for p/a. Just doing some cbt and coping. Works fairly well for me. As much as it helps, its still difficult.

P/a is a monster. You take a sword and charge to slay it. The confidence is there, but there is that thought you might lose this battle. Nevertheless, you keep swinging, and eventually another battle is won.

Hanging in there though. Think I'll go wash my hands and face a few times (ocd-ing again).

Introvrtd1

Woke up very early this morning agitated and apprehensive. Today was gym day so around 6am I was there. It was hot and humid in the gym today. The a/c is down again and staff was breaking out the giant fans.

(Whats the deal with a/c always breaking down in the dead middle of summer????)

So to make matters worse, the heat & humdity triggers my p/a.

Uh, oh. Here we go again. I ignored it. As crappy as I felt I hit the stationary bike. 5 min into the workout I got nauseas and had to cut it short. I bet it was the heat.

Even after a shower, going outside wasnt any better.

Once I got back to my building, the a/c was a welcome relief.

The agitation and apprehension has subsided.

Lilya

Hang in there, Intro.

You´re doing everything right to cope and you seem strong enough to overcome difficult anxiety attacks with CBT.

Maybe it was something you dreamt? I look at dreams as a cleansing of the soul, but they can be dark and disturbing, like Carl Jung´s dream of the shadow, who is our other side we like to keep hidden, but should maybe expose.

Or it could have been the mozzarella. Diets are importants and it´s true that some spices can make you anxious. White bread and suger is the worst for me, including my favorites, French and Italian bread, and strangely enough, the spice tarragon.

Love and light.

Introvrtd1

Thanks Lil,

It happens every time. Once the agitation wears off. I will sit in my office in front of the computer wanting to fall asleep. One time I actually fell asleep while typing email. When I awoke, I had about 500 letter 'n's across the screeen.

Sounds like narcalepsy but it came from being up since 3am. Once I settle down Im like that.

The problem lies tonite when its actually time to go to bed around 10pm, I probably wont be able to sleep right away, which further gets me apprehensive.

Its not exactly panic, but its just that 'nagging feeling'. Eventually that leads to p/a.

But you're right, I have coped before and can cope in the future.

Intro

Introvrtd1

Okay.

After all that restlessness, Im getting very sleepy. Its 8am, and it usually doesnt hit me until around 11/12pm.

Here we go. I'll be drafting an email and close my eyes for just a minute, and doze off.

I want to just unroll a sleeping blanket, toss it on the table and take a good nap.

Problem is, that wouldnt look too good at the very beginning of a workday.

Introvrtd1

Up at 3am. Lied in bed until 4am.

Feeling restless in a bad way. Decided to read and post here.

Not much new to read for a couple days, so heres mine.

Just thought id rant a while.

You might be up in the middle of the nite too. Awash with panic/anxiety. As i sit here, cant sleep, feeling way bad, u may be feeling it too. Its tiring i know. A seemingly endless fight with this condition.

I drank again this weekend. A lot. Just sharing that.

Knowing how bad my p/a gets when i come down, I still did it. Paying the price again.

sigh

What to do with me. No pity, just feeling really guilty now.

Spoke with my doc. He knows how much i was drinking in the past. He finally set me up for rehab. Looking fwd to it.

It felt so good when i wasnt drinking for a couple weeks. Sleep was awesome.

Look at me now, ha. What a mess.

Dont mind me folks, just ranting. Feels weird to expose myself like this in front of the world. Talking it out seems to make me feel slightly better. Like some weight of this low self esteem has been lifted. Some, not all.

This is such a drag. I feel like crap.

Guess i might as well go to my office now. Yeah, its too early, but i'll lock the door, keep the lights out and read SR. When people start showing up in the building around 8am, i'll make a slight appearance. Keeping a stiff upper lip so to speak. At the same time, shaky, scared, alone, feeling low.

Thanks for reading. Since my relapse, guess i'll go post on the alcoholism forum now.

Intro

Lilya

Hi Intro,

I´m sorry to hear about the panick attack. I just know how difficult and agnoizing it is.

My therapist told me once to let go of them. When I would get one, just go with it, and say to myself: "Today I accept to be anxious."

It sometimes helps. Sometimes I find it good to talk about it, sometimes, I feel it´s good not even mention it, as the anxiety can become even more out of hand.

The thing is, it goes away.

About drinking, sure, deal with it where you feel like it, but don´t go from this board here. I feel you have been such a good support to me and others here.

It took me so many years to stop drinking and using, but it happened. You are aware of your problem and you are doing everything right to deal with it.

I´m sure you´ll do well.

Love and light,

Introvrtd1

Just got to work early this mon morn. Up at 3am from a weekend binge.

Uuuugh! Why, why, why.

Oh i know why....Denial for one.

No man is an island. I have isolated myself from all those waiting for me to ask them for help. I finally did it. I asked for help. My doc set me up with rehab this morn. Good guy.

I often wonder if docs ever get tired of helping people like me. I guess thats why i never asked him for real help. Hmmmm.

I failed in my self help approach. Entering this new therapy should be interesting.

I'll let u know how it goes.

Intro

Introvrtd1

Thanks again Lil,

For the encouragement.

Intro

Introvrtd1

Well,

Visit this morning was nothing more than a psych eval. Have another appt in a few days with the therapist.

Tempted to hold back......Must tell all for trustworthy recovery.

Determined to get better...........Quit drinking..................

Must..........trust..............help............. ..

Aaaaaaaaaaaggggghhh!! Its tough to change!!!!!!!!

Introvrtd1

Since 1am this morn.

Roaming the house in the dark, while the family sleeps.

Geez, what a drag.....

Looking out the window. Still, dark, quiet. Wondering who might be wandering around out there.

Im watching this cat walking around in the street. It seems to be roaming carefree. Just doing his thing. Hes rolling around in the grass, as if to be scratching his back.

I hear that watching cats is theraputic to some extent. Maybe i should consider getting one. As long as they have a home and a good owner, cats dont seem to have a care in the world.......besides dogs being a threat that is.



He seems to have heard something.....He perks up and gets ready to run....False alarm. Guess it was nothing. Back to frolicking.

..........sigh..........

4:30am now. Might as well head off to work. Yeah, kinda way early, but soon after I get to the office, I'll be sleepy, ha.

Anxiety not too bad this morn..........so far. But, ah, the day is still early.

Eek5

People at work have no idea what i go thru. I put on such a face. Keeping up appearances.

Why is it that when someone says, "hey, howsit going?", we say great, or fine, or something quick and positive.

Try this response: "well, ya know, things are really not going too well, I woke up at 1am, feeling a little anxious, couldnt sleep, yada, yada, yada......"

Could u imagine the weird look of being annoyed you might get from the listener?

We really dont want to know how its going, its just a figure of speech. Im guilty of the same thing.

We can only get away with that at therapy/meetings.


Oh, Lord, help me get thru this day.

Thanks.

Lilya

Hi Intro,

Cats are calming. It´s a scientific thing, I hear. If you let one sleep on your chest, your bloodpressure is supposed to go down.

I have two and they are very calming.

Hope your day will be good, despite your apprehensions.

I´m a little anxious, but not too much (a good day, I guess. LOL)

Sending you good vibes from across the ocean.

Love and light,

Introvrtd1

......good vibes received......

Thanks,

Intro

Viki

Hi Intro
Walking helps me relax plus it burns some of that extra energy. I don;t know how it is said to be extra due to no rest but somehow or another our bodies are making too much adrenaline and not enough seratonin. something like that. I'm sire that thry are medical people around that will correct me. Any way.....I really can understand what you are gooing through. i do the same exact thing night after night after night. People say that I will sleep when my body runs out of energy. I am running on empty here and still can't sleep. I went somewhere with my twin daughters yesterday and while i was in the car i got so sleepy. i can remember when they were little and i used to drive them around late at night to get them to go to sleep. I kicked back in the passenger seat and closed my eyes. The next thing i knew we were at the tattoo parlor. I slept so good and so sound. Iwander if i could hire someone to drive me around at night? lol...viki

Introvrtd1

Okay, I said a while ago anxiety not too bad, but also said the day was still young.

Well..............It kicked in and im a mess this morning. I dont need this right now. I have a lot to do, meetings, phone calls, site visits, etc.

Oh, man.

It will pass (no it wont).

I'll just sit here in the office until it passes (its not passing).

Im about to do some ocding.