hopeangel

finally the therapist has diagnosed ah with prolonged posttraumatic stress disorder. i have known for a long time that there was some mental illness, but could not put a handle on exactly what. now so much makes sense. he has all the symtoms. i hope he may now be able to get the treatment he needs with this and it helps just to have understanding.
the psd was caused by prolonged abuse, mental, physical, sexual. ah was adopted. both biological parents were alcoholics and he biological dad was a vet that suffered from psd after coming home from war. ah was then in several foster homes. the people that adopted him were severily abusive to him. he went from a bad situation to a worse one.
so, those with any experience with this. what do i need to know? what can be done to help?
thanks

margo

Hi Hopeangel - this link has some very helpful info about PTSD. I'm glad to hear a diagnosis has been made - being able to put a name to something can be a huge psychological relief and hopefully now some healing can begin.

Here's the link:

http://soberrecovery.com/forums/anxi...-families.html

screen_name

There was a time in my late teens and early 20s where it seemed like every girl I dated would eventually reveal to me that they were abused in some way.

Beyond stating the obvious, that these men should be taken out behind the woodshed and beaten to within an inch of their lives and, if sexual abuse was committed, also castrated and possibly hung from the nearest tree, the thing I notice most about all these cases is that the women invariably feel guilty about all this, as if they were somehow responsible for the actions perpetrated on them by these animals (though that's an insult to animals everywhere).

As a result, in my experience, the most important thing is that you focus on getting to the point where you don't believe you're in any way responsible for any of this. I don't mean repeating it to yourself in the mirror, I mean really believe it. Because no abuse victim is responsible for any of it.

Obviously, these kinds of things have a huge impact on one's relationships. As a guy, let me assure you that any man who would reject you because of this isn't someone you want to be with anyway. The proper response of a man who cares about you is a lot of righteous indignation and a clear desire to comfort you and make you happy. Don't waste your time on anything less.

We should have a zero tolerance policy toward this sort of thing. Did I mention that I think these men should be beaten, castrated and hung? We used to execute rapists in this country, you know.

The good news is that the vast majority of these women that I knew back then have worked through things. I haven't kept in touch with all of them, but many of them are happily married with children now, in healthy relationships with men who love them and care for them and treat them as they deserve to be treated.

My own wife has such issues. Not sexual, but having been beaten by a weasel of father, she's still working through some things, as you can imagine. But she's a successful woman, a wonderful mother, and the best wife a man could dream of.

All that to say, don't worry. Zillions of women have crossed to the other side and now live very fulfilling lives. Will you bear some scars? Sure. But that doesn't mean you won't live a happy, emotionally healthy life.

My wife thinks the key is committing to never treating anyone the way you were treated.

All the best, hopeangel. Hang in there and you will get through this. You have a lot to look forward to. Never forget that.