screen_name

Someone on another forum posted a personality disorder test that we all took for fun. But what was seriously interesting about it was the descriptions of the symptoms of the various disorders. When you put them all together, and they are severe, they define a disorder, but they're all things that are a part of healthy human being's thoughts and reactions to situations he faces every day.

In short, I think that sometimes people with anxiety disorders expect that being well means calm in all circumstances, never feeling anxious.

But anxiety is natural, it's nature's way of telling you that there's something you might need to be concerned about. It's what tells the gazelle to run when he senses a lion around. It's natural to feel it when your job situation becomes uncertain, when you are having relationship problems, etc.

In other words, we don't want to get rid of anxiety, per se, all together, any more than we want to get rid of any of the nerve endings that cause us to feel pain. Otherwise we wouldn't remove our hand from the flame and we'd roast.

The thing, of course, is what we do with those feelings of anxiety. Our problem has been that it paralyzes us, completely overtakes everything making it impossible for us to function. And then maybe, as I mentioned in another thread, the anxiety wears us out mentally and physically and leads to depression. Then, even though we'd like to do something about the situation that needs attention, we can't, because the depression has knocked us on our ass.

Just as with recovering from alcohol dependency, I believe I am noticing that getting better doesn't automatically make everything better, so to speak. Contrary to numerous testimonials that people always proffer, it's not the not drinking or the not feeling anxious that makes the job or relationship better. Feeling better simply puts us in a position to where we can learn to deal with the things that our previous state would not allow us to.

All that just to say that I don't hope I never feel anxious again. I hope I do. At the right times and in the right proportion. And I hope I learn how to properly respond to those neurological cues.

This is why medication isn't the be all end all. It doesn't solve problems; it just makes problem solving possible.

Spacecat

Thanks for your post, Screen Name,
you summarised the subject skillfully, & once again provided another useful post to both inform & encourage us onward & upward.....

God Bless,

P.S. I have been thinking & praying for you....believing that you will be successful in your quest & in all your endeavours..

Wascally Wabbit

Thank you for the insightful post.

screen_name

Thanks, folks.

I have to admit that I'm finding all this not a small challenge at the moment. I've got job issues and associated financial stresses to deal with and the heavy relationship stress that naturally results from such a situation.

I'm finding a tendency to think, "oh, how much less stressed out I would be if I was back on the meds!" Which is utter BS. This is simply my opportunity to continue along the path, to overcome an obstacle instead of freaking out running to some temporary solution that's not going to solve the essential problem.

Patience is the thing, I think. Both the Buddhists and the Christian monks of the desert said that the impressive thing is not maintaining your calm when all is calm, but to be able to maintain your calm in the midst of challenges and obstacles.

And I think they were right. Meds aren't a substitute for the process of learning to control one's emotions. In Christianity, for example, self-control is a virtue, a "fruit of the Spirit," as Paul puts in it the New Testament. And there are very few fruits that I know of that one obtains other than through cultivation: in a word, work. Some grow wild, to be sure, and for those we're thankful, but the rest, many of which are necessary for surviving and thriving, only come through work. And sometimes that work is hard, painful stuff.

And sometimes it's useful to remember what Winston Churchill said: "when you're going through hell, keep going."

Spacecat

I will be praying & thinking of you at this difficult time, Screen Name, for it is a brave effort to resist using medication to treat your illness & I agree with you that medication is not the only solution to treating anxiety/depression,
& I would like to resist using it, but I'm not at that point yet where I can handle my depression/anxiety, but I hope that I will one day, no longer have to rely on meds.....
God Bless you Screen Name,

screen_name

>it is a brave effort to resist using medication to treat your illness

I should make sure it's clear that I'm not just trying to be tough or something. I was on Celexa for just over a year and it was a lifesaver. Just for the record, I am definitely not suggesting that it's preferable to grit it out without medication, if medication can help. I'm just at the point where meds had done pretty much all they were going to do.

Spacecat

I was having trouble putting my last post into words, Screen Name, but thankyou for clarifying....
I wish you the best, I know you can get through this hard time....
We will always be here for you to encourage you on, in your quest for wholeness.....

God Bless,