angel08955

how can i not let negative things said to me make me feel worse about myself then i already do? it seems to be that no one sees anything good in me and they voice it. it hurts and i am slowly losing the ground i have made in my recovery from depression. i can't vent on my blog or to friends on and offline without being told i am an attention ***** and having the past throw at me. people want me to change and they say i'm not trying anf stuff because i haven't shown any change. i'm sick of it.

historyteach

I'm sorry you are dealing with other people's opinions -- and letting them affect you so much...
One think I've learned in my recovery is that other people's opinions are none of my business. It's all about them.

In the interrum, I try to keep my focus on myself.
For example, I need to take care of myself physically, meaning to eat right and exercise regularly.
I need to continue to learn new things; to care for myself mentally.
I have to monitor and care for my emotional self; possitive affirmations, meditations and such.
And I need to keep in touch with my spiritual self. I need to stay connected with my HP, whom I call G*D; to take religious education classes and strive to increase my spiritual awareness.

Theses are the behaviors which increase my self worth, and make me less depressed. They also make me far less concerned about other people thoughts about myself. When I'm taking care of me, I don't care what kind of drama others are involved in.

I hope this helps. Try to act on at least one of the above today, then, add to it. When you're working in all four areas, I promise, the world will look different to you.

Shalom!

Missminime

If your friends dont want to listen, fine.. then dont talk to them. Talk to people who cares instead. You can post here, people does care and listen. You can always PM me ill listen, and i have a rough past - im sure we can share experience and give support. If people dont make you feel better, then you have to stay away from them until you feel better and are strong on your own.

Have you tried to talk to someone, a proffesional? It might help.

hugs
//minnie

Golfman

Lovey,

How long have you been trying to make changes in your life? HistoryTeach gave you some very good things to think about. Sometimes the only person with us is us.

For me, I found that when I took a leap of faith and starting working on my self, others started to notice. If you are sincerely trying to change and people around you are still unsupportive, stay away from those people. I confess that I'm guilty of wanting attention sometimes and the easiest way to get it is to play the martyr. I'm saying this just about me, not about anyone else. I was in an AA meeting long ago when someone continued to whine about their problems over and over again. Finally, a gentleman spoke up and said "Get off the Cross, we need the Wood!" I've kept that phrase in my mind over the years to check myself when I start thinking that everyone's against me.

Again, for me, the way to staying positive is to do something positive. The negative reactions of others give me a good excuse to feel sorry for myself. Some folks, including myself, will take any attention they can get, even if it's negative. I see many children like that today. No one pays attention to them so they do anything they can to get it.

I don't know whether you're active in any recovery program, AA, etc., but there are spiritual tools available for you to use. They may be heavy tools to lift in the beginning, but they've worked for millions of people around the world.

Yours in sobriety,
Ed

Bozo

Dear we have talked about this before and came to the conclusion that you are in a very unhealthy situation with where you live. I know you mentioned family members putting you down, well screw them.

Im sorry but that is just how I feel. I have taken crap my whole life and I aint taking it anymore.

Cant you move somewhere else? How about joining a support group like AA for the fellowship.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Mike

angel08955

these are now on and offline friends. would AA help depression?

historyteach

If you are drinking and go to AA to stop, yes, it WILL help depression.
Alcohol is a depressant. If you drink, while taking anti-depressants, they will not work effectively. You are sabotaging your own health then.

If you're not drinking, I would suggest some type of group to get involved with. Maybe an exercise class; a religious class; or an art class -- something YOU are interested in. That will bring you in touch with others who share the same interests. And out of yourself.

I wish you the best. What have you decided to do for yourself today?

Shalom!