Krys_wyo

My Brother Robb is 36, he has been drinking for 20 years, the last 10 years it has been vodka, once the beer didnt give him the instant effects he started with hard liquor.
Ill go back a bit..... 5 years ago he lived in Salt Lake City, had a job and made over 100,000$ a year , a big expensive house he had built , a brand new acura fully loaded and all the toys (computer,t.v.s ect) anyone could imagine.
In the last 2 yrs he lost his job, cashed in his 401 k didnt pay the tax on it owes irs 35thousand, had his house forclosed on, left his wife , accually went to narcanon for 2 weeks in michigan that cost my Mom $20,000, he left there saysing that they were forcing their christian science stuff on him (damn good excuse is better then none i guess) then he moved into my moms basement, went to work for a few weeks on then a few weeks on a bender(this lasted a year til he moved out).Still went to work for 2 to 3 weeks did ok for awhile then back in the bottle and off work for 3-6 weeks, this went on for a year.
Now he is completely unemployed (his boss wont take him back anymore) lives in my uncles rental (hasnt paid rent for 4 months), my older brother gave him a vehicle he had to take away cause he was drinking and driving, one time even with my 15 yr old son with him.
I dont know where he is getting money for vodka now, but he seems to get it.
The other day he even had the NERVE to use my 85 yr old Grandmas car to come get my son while i was out hunting and go to the liqour store with money he asked Grandma for, he said it was for smokes.
We as a whole family have to some point enabled him alot, my mom and older brother especially and i have bought him smokes and some groceries when he has been sober (or i thought ) for a week or more.
He says he has tried to kill himself everyway possible, no proof of that i think it is a big sympathy getter to him.
He does say he wants to die, has been saying that for 2 years. When comfronted drun he cries he wants help and when the family pulls together to help he will sober up a few days to get what he wants like groceries, smokes, sympathy, he has even gone to a few AA meetings with us although he was drunk at the time.
I am right now to the point of preparring myself and 3 children for the worst, im numb, i care but i dont care. He is a very smart, gifted awesome person sober, he has been my best friend since our teens and now i dont know him.
we live in a smaller town with not alot of resources, what do we do? how do we help him help himself?
I know you cant do anything till they are ready to help themselves, i to am an alcoholic and know i couldnt quit till i was ready, and i have been sober almost 5 months.
We need to help him now or start writing his eulogy!
sorry this is so long but were desperate!!!

LIL_Pebbles

Hi I'm an opaite addict, however my brother drank alot and did try to kill himself about 11 times, ended up in ICU, ironic a drunk driver took his life he was a passenger...When people say I want to die, take them serious. Your sober 5 months now and all your focus is on him and in honestey I would too, but this could cause you to slip? You being a alcoholic this may help you understand your brother? He lost alot and wants to keep forgetting all he did have he had lost, so it is a circle he drinks to get numb, days and nights go fast. Here is the thing: what caused him to start wanting to get mentally numb,. that is the trick.

A family Intervention I would try, feed him and shelter him see about him getting to detox and perhaps him taking Antibuse if he drinks with this it will make him sick, it is a medication for alcholics so once they pop that pill they know they can't drink, however the craving can be madness and some have, my dad did was brought to the hosp.
Never say sorry, because it is your life and brothers you are trying to seek out answers, this is the place for that. Many here will better help you...

By The Way Mark will get to you as soon as possible, I just seen the title and took action, I see that mark will better help you for he is a professional
anytime too.

T

Krys_wyo

I asked on another thread but never got a reply about how to do an intervention and what all takes place, and who all needs to be there.
He is not going to change anything about my sobriety if anything it has kept me sober watching him.

I wish i knew the awnser to that!

LIL_Pebbles

Good to see that you seeing him has not set you off. Mark should answer you, or you can create another thread on how to do an intervention, also best to decrib yours brother's persona, basic back-ground this way Mark can further help you.

I hope all works out, I know what it is like to see a sibling destroy themselves, this was before and even now that I am an addict, also ironic that my family uses drugs...