I made my mind up.
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Join Date: May 2005
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I made my mind up.
Hey all! 
I've talked about this in the 6 AM Est meeting already. As you all may know (for those who don't or if ya wanna refresh your memory read my story here
) I been treated pretty bad by the free mental health care center and I been playing with the thought of filing a complaint. Yesterday I made my mind up and decided to go for it. I will keep the hurt as minimal as possible by talking to my family dr first about it all. I really get along with her very well and I hope she can advice me on how to go at this without having to set foot in that mental health care facility and/or having to talk to therapists/shrinks ever again. I mean after all it's a fact they're in the 'power' position here and can just say 'oh but you're the one with the problems, you refused help' and make a 'problem patient' outta me. But Karyn, a good friend of mine, is right: "if you don't do anything about it, it'll keep nagging you" and I prefer to live without regrets. I have no expectations that anything will change at all but if nobody says anything at all, the system will certainly never change cuz how can they possibly know what the matter is then eh?
Marte
I've talked about this in the 6 AM Est meeting already. As you all may know (for those who don't or if ya wanna refresh your memory read my story here
) I been treated pretty bad by the free mental health care center and I been playing with the thought of filing a complaint. Yesterday I made my mind up and decided to go for it. I will keep the hurt as minimal as possible by talking to my family dr first about it all. I really get along with her very well and I hope she can advice me on how to go at this without having to set foot in that mental health care facility and/or having to talk to therapists/shrinks ever again. I mean after all it's a fact they're in the 'power' position here and can just say 'oh but you're the one with the problems, you refused help' and make a 'problem patient' outta me. But Karyn, a good friend of mine, is right: "if you don't do anything about it, it'll keep nagging you" and I prefer to live without regrets. I have no expectations that anything will change at all but if nobody says anything at all, the system will certainly never change cuz how can they possibly know what the matter is then eh? Marte
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
I wish you all the best, Marte.
I filed a complaint about a therapist years ago. Later learned that many people complained about the same issue with her - she was very controlling and demanding that I agree with her "diagnosis" of me, and threatening to dump me if I didn't.
I was able to read her records about me. And to submit my own thoughts about what happened.
It's years later, and she still works for the agency. But, I was able to get another therapist, and we went on to have a good relationship. I still see her once in a while, if somehting comes up that I need a hand dealing with. But, I think the "problem" was made clear to all, even though nothing changed.
DO what you think is right, Marte. And maybe just look into another therapist if you feel you could still use some guidance. It can't hurt, right?
Shalom!
I filed a complaint about a therapist years ago. Later learned that many people complained about the same issue with her - she was very controlling and demanding that I agree with her "diagnosis" of me, and threatening to dump me if I didn't.
I was able to read her records about me. And to submit my own thoughts about what happened.
It's years later, and she still works for the agency. But, I was able to get another therapist, and we went on to have a good relationship. I still see her once in a while, if somehting comes up that I need a hand dealing with. But, I think the "problem" was made clear to all, even though nothing changed.
DO what you think is right, Marte. And maybe just look into another therapist if you feel you could still use some guidance. It can't hurt, right?
Shalom!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
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And maybe just look into another therapist if you feel you could still use some guidance.
Oops I shouldn't forget to add that internet self help stuff helps me tons and it's free too! (apart from ISP charges maybe).
Marte
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Marte, When I was 20, I tried to commit suicide, but because I threw up the pills, I lived. My parents forced me to see a counselor. I did for 10 weeks. Finally she said to me, "You know yourself better than anyone and when you want to change your life you will". I knew she was right. It took me a couple of more years to start dumping my garbage, but I eventually did. I am not saying that everyone should go it alone. But I believe all some people need is time and the ability to look at themselves and be willing to change. Good luck to you. Marle
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Join Date: May 2005
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Originally Posted by marle
Marte, When I was 20, I tried to commit suicide, but because I threw up the pills, I lived. My parents forced me to see a counselor. I did for 10 weeks. Finally she said to me, "You know yourself better than anyone and when you want to change your life you will". I knew she was right. It took me a couple of more years to start dumping my garbage, but I eventually did. I am not saying that everyone should go it alone. But I believe all some people need is time and the ability to look at themselves and be willing to change. Good luck to you. Marle
Marte
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Join Date: May 2005
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Posts: 889
Well some update: I talked to my family dr and she too agrees that I should file a complaint and refered me to a website of an independent commision to do so. I filled out an online form and said that I wanted to make an apt with 'em to explain the whole complaint and all. I hope for the very best and with no damage for me personally.
Marte
Marte
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Join Date: Aug 2005
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Posts: 1,331
You go girl!
I've lived with a regret for the past 20+ years that I never filed complaints on my childhood therapists.
Before seeing professionals, I confided in some adult camp counselors that I was getting knocked around at home on a daily basis. They were the first people I ever had the courage to tell. No one reported it.
About the time I turned 14, I had a boyfriend whose parents were a psychologist and a social work student. They reached out to me in a way no one ever had. They were the first people I remember ever hugging me or saying anything positive about me. They genuinely cared about me and it was not a professional relationship, but they did sit down with me one on one on a regular basis, trying to help. They were my salvation for a few years until they moved away. My parents somehow found out their professions, and knew I was getting close to them, so my parents threatened to sue them for counseling me without consent. My parents forbid me to ever go over there again. I did occasionally sneak over there for a few minutes, but being on a tight leash, it pretty much ended my relationship with the only people who ever loved me. I am so grateful for those people, yet to this day I don't understand why they didn't report the abuse.
High school was the first time we had school counselors. None in lower grades. I started going to a pay phone and calling the school counselor anonymously after school, desperate for help, but terrified for her to find out who I was because I was afraid my father would kill me (he did threaten to) if he found out I was talking to someone. School counselor #1 knew in great detail that I was being beaten by my father, that my mother emotionally abused me and that I had already made a very recent serious suicide attempt (OD) that my parents did not know about. I was 14. She never reported the abuse to social services or did anything to intervene.
School counselor #2, same as above. In fact, after meeting with her weekly for months and a 2nd suicide attempt (another OD, age 15), she got mad at me one day and dumped me. We were in the office when the secretary asked what grade I was in. Counselor jokingly said "she is in grade 13". I laughed and jokingly (sarcastically)said "ha, ha, very funny". I left and went on to class. Moments later I was pulled out of class by this counselor who accused me of being disrespectful and said she hoped that in the next 2 years I would learn some respect for my elders. I was stunned! I tried to tell her that I was only joking around like she was. She refused to listen. So there went my counselor. A month later I approached her again and she again refused to believe me. I was a very timid, well-behaved child. I was never EVER disrespectful to anyone at that age. I was too afraid of getting in trouble.
Finally after the 2nd suicide attempt, I gathered the courage to tell my parents and to ask for professional counseling. They berated me for it terribly, which I knew they would. The counselor they set me up with was an older man, a psychologist actually, someone I totally did not connect with, but still I did the best I could because I was desperately depressed, suicidal, and wanted nothing more than to feel better. I told him all about the abuse, my self-mutilation and suicide attempts. I made a 3rd, very serious attempt, while seeing him. It's a wonder I lived through that one. I was 16. He did offer to try and find me a temporary foster home if I would promise to not hurt myself again. I agreed and will write about that so-called professional below. After a little while, this psychologist insisted we have a family session. I resisted and told him I was afraid my parents would go off on me after such a session. He said I had to, so I did. I was scared to death. Afterward my parents berated me the whole way home (an hour drive). The psychologist insisted on another session. I said no. He said if I refused, he would no longer see me. I couldn't do it. I was too afraid. And he did refuse to ever see me again. My parents were quite happy about that. I felt completely abandoned and hopeless. I prayed for death every night. My parents may or may not have found out I told about the abuse, but they certainly told me I was not to air our family business to anyone.
Now, to that foster home BS. The psychologist placed a call to department of children's services. I packed a bag, which I hid in my closet. Day after day, I went straight to my room, closed the door and turned off the light, hoping my father would forget I was home. I sat there every night until bedtime waiting for a car to pull into the drive way to take me someplace safe. I did that every day for a month. My mother finally told me what really happened. She just had to rub it in my face. The social worker assigned to the case lived at the end of our street and her daughter had been my best friend for years. (Can ya see where this is heading?) Said social worker simply called mommy dearest up on the phone. Mother said that she and my dad were going to find a christian family for me to stay with. End of story. Social worker never even spoke with me. Nothing.
Years of reaching out, begging for help even though I was terrified of my parents' retaliation, and I got nothing. At least 4 trusted adults, then 5 professionals, and no one ever did a damn thing to get me out of there. I'm 38 years old and I still dream of my father, chasing me, catching me, beating me, over and over again.
If any of you who read this ever know a kid is getting abused, please report it. Maybe if someone had gotten me out, I wouldn't be posting in the mental health forum....
I've lived with a regret for the past 20+ years that I never filed complaints on my childhood therapists.
Before seeing professionals, I confided in some adult camp counselors that I was getting knocked around at home on a daily basis. They were the first people I ever had the courage to tell. No one reported it.
About the time I turned 14, I had a boyfriend whose parents were a psychologist and a social work student. They reached out to me in a way no one ever had. They were the first people I remember ever hugging me or saying anything positive about me. They genuinely cared about me and it was not a professional relationship, but they did sit down with me one on one on a regular basis, trying to help. They were my salvation for a few years until they moved away. My parents somehow found out their professions, and knew I was getting close to them, so my parents threatened to sue them for counseling me without consent. My parents forbid me to ever go over there again. I did occasionally sneak over there for a few minutes, but being on a tight leash, it pretty much ended my relationship with the only people who ever loved me. I am so grateful for those people, yet to this day I don't understand why they didn't report the abuse.
High school was the first time we had school counselors. None in lower grades. I started going to a pay phone and calling the school counselor anonymously after school, desperate for help, but terrified for her to find out who I was because I was afraid my father would kill me (he did threaten to) if he found out I was talking to someone. School counselor #1 knew in great detail that I was being beaten by my father, that my mother emotionally abused me and that I had already made a very recent serious suicide attempt (OD) that my parents did not know about. I was 14. She never reported the abuse to social services or did anything to intervene.
School counselor #2, same as above. In fact, after meeting with her weekly for months and a 2nd suicide attempt (another OD, age 15), she got mad at me one day and dumped me. We were in the office when the secretary asked what grade I was in. Counselor jokingly said "she is in grade 13". I laughed and jokingly (sarcastically)said "ha, ha, very funny". I left and went on to class. Moments later I was pulled out of class by this counselor who accused me of being disrespectful and said she hoped that in the next 2 years I would learn some respect for my elders. I was stunned! I tried to tell her that I was only joking around like she was. She refused to listen. So there went my counselor. A month later I approached her again and she again refused to believe me. I was a very timid, well-behaved child. I was never EVER disrespectful to anyone at that age. I was too afraid of getting in trouble.
Finally after the 2nd suicide attempt, I gathered the courage to tell my parents and to ask for professional counseling. They berated me for it terribly, which I knew they would. The counselor they set me up with was an older man, a psychologist actually, someone I totally did not connect with, but still I did the best I could because I was desperately depressed, suicidal, and wanted nothing more than to feel better. I told him all about the abuse, my self-mutilation and suicide attempts. I made a 3rd, very serious attempt, while seeing him. It's a wonder I lived through that one. I was 16. He did offer to try and find me a temporary foster home if I would promise to not hurt myself again. I agreed and will write about that so-called professional below. After a little while, this psychologist insisted we have a family session. I resisted and told him I was afraid my parents would go off on me after such a session. He said I had to, so I did. I was scared to death. Afterward my parents berated me the whole way home (an hour drive). The psychologist insisted on another session. I said no. He said if I refused, he would no longer see me. I couldn't do it. I was too afraid. And he did refuse to ever see me again. My parents were quite happy about that. I felt completely abandoned and hopeless. I prayed for death every night. My parents may or may not have found out I told about the abuse, but they certainly told me I was not to air our family business to anyone.
Now, to that foster home BS. The psychologist placed a call to department of children's services. I packed a bag, which I hid in my closet. Day after day, I went straight to my room, closed the door and turned off the light, hoping my father would forget I was home. I sat there every night until bedtime waiting for a car to pull into the drive way to take me someplace safe. I did that every day for a month. My mother finally told me what really happened. She just had to rub it in my face. The social worker assigned to the case lived at the end of our street and her daughter had been my best friend for years. (Can ya see where this is heading?) Said social worker simply called mommy dearest up on the phone. Mother said that she and my dad were going to find a christian family for me to stay with. End of story. Social worker never even spoke with me. Nothing.
Years of reaching out, begging for help even though I was terrified of my parents' retaliation, and I got nothing. At least 4 trusted adults, then 5 professionals, and no one ever did a damn thing to get me out of there. I'm 38 years old and I still dream of my father, chasing me, catching me, beating me, over and over again.
If any of you who read this ever know a kid is getting abused, please report it. Maybe if someone had gotten me out, I wouldn't be posting in the mental health forum....
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