Could use some words of encouragement.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 109
Could use some words of encouragement.
Hey all,
It has been a long long time since I posted here although I still would check in from time to time. I have had a terrible weekend and could use some words of encouragement. I am a 42 year old professional. I think I have had always had issues with anxiety. I just learned today there was a name for the porbelms I had in high school, "school refusal". For the most part I have been successful in life, but have had periodic bouts with anxiety and depression.
Not recognizing the pitfalls I tried to self medicate with alcohol. Before this became a contributing problem I became mostly abstinent. The problem is although I realize I could not self-medicate myself any more I never sought treatment for anxiety or depression.
This year has been one of those years. My Mom died in January, negotiating an Estate settlementbetween family, I moved, am planning a wedding, got a prmotion, etc. Enough stressors that lately I have been feeling very anxious. I had an episode in public where I almost fainted. The paramedics were called and they said it was my blood sugar. They tested at 21 although I have been told it is impossible for it to be that low. Long story short, I have been continuing to have issues with my blood sugar which I think now may be anxiety.
By Thursday of last week I had had enough and decided to have a drink. It was a choice I know, but was not very smart. This set off initially what I thought was my blood sugar and and I ended up having to call in to work to take a PTO day. Here is where the real anxiety started. I have a wedding/honeymoon scheduled in Oct and I need all of my PTO. I called my boss and asked to be allowed to make it up. He said he would talk to our Director and call me back, which he never did.
Ever since then I have had what can only be described as frequent panic attacks. Heart pounding, short breath, dizzy, wanting to flee, etc. The continual "what if" thinking is killing me. Our honeymoon has been paid for and invitations sent, rescheduling is not an option. I am afraid of getting fired if I ask for unpaid leave, and I am afraid of disappointing my Fiance if I can take her on a Honeymoon. I am sure you all know how the thinking spirals out of control.
Anyway, thats a bit about me and what brought me here. If any of you could offer some words of encouragement or support it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks much for letting me get all this out,
Triegger
It has been a long long time since I posted here although I still would check in from time to time. I have had a terrible weekend and could use some words of encouragement. I am a 42 year old professional. I think I have had always had issues with anxiety. I just learned today there was a name for the porbelms I had in high school, "school refusal". For the most part I have been successful in life, but have had periodic bouts with anxiety and depression.
Not recognizing the pitfalls I tried to self medicate with alcohol. Before this became a contributing problem I became mostly abstinent. The problem is although I realize I could not self-medicate myself any more I never sought treatment for anxiety or depression.
This year has been one of those years. My Mom died in January, negotiating an Estate settlementbetween family, I moved, am planning a wedding, got a prmotion, etc. Enough stressors that lately I have been feeling very anxious. I had an episode in public where I almost fainted. The paramedics were called and they said it was my blood sugar. They tested at 21 although I have been told it is impossible for it to be that low. Long story short, I have been continuing to have issues with my blood sugar which I think now may be anxiety.
By Thursday of last week I had had enough and decided to have a drink. It was a choice I know, but was not very smart. This set off initially what I thought was my blood sugar and and I ended up having to call in to work to take a PTO day. Here is where the real anxiety started. I have a wedding/honeymoon scheduled in Oct and I need all of my PTO. I called my boss and asked to be allowed to make it up. He said he would talk to our Director and call me back, which he never did.
Ever since then I have had what can only be described as frequent panic attacks. Heart pounding, short breath, dizzy, wanting to flee, etc. The continual "what if" thinking is killing me. Our honeymoon has been paid for and invitations sent, rescheduling is not an option. I am afraid of getting fired if I ask for unpaid leave, and I am afraid of disappointing my Fiance if I can take her on a Honeymoon. I am sure you all know how the thinking spirals out of control.
Anyway, thats a bit about me and what brought me here. If any of you could offer some words of encouragement or support it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks much for letting me get all this out,
Triegger
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 14
Triegger,
You have been through a lot. Your Mother dying and a wedding all in the same year. Sometimes it's just too much for one to absorb, we take
safe harbor, and our bodies are showing us to take care of ourselves through anxiety, panic and the "what if's" we keep thinking.
So, it's a definite sign from your body to take care of you...
Can you talk to your boss about your anxiety? All that you have been through?
All will work out, for the higher good, triegger.
Take Care of YOU. Ok?
My thoughts are with you.
Peace
You have been through a lot. Your Mother dying and a wedding all in the same year. Sometimes it's just too much for one to absorb, we take
safe harbor, and our bodies are showing us to take care of ourselves through anxiety, panic and the "what if's" we keep thinking.
So, it's a definite sign from your body to take care of you...
Can you talk to your boss about your anxiety? All that you have been through?
All will work out, for the higher good, triegger.
Take Care of YOU. Ok?
My thoughts are with you.
Peace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 109
Thanks Sun,
It does feel like I have been through a lot and you are right our bodies have a way of making us take care of ourselves.
I am not sure how comfortable I feel about talking to my boss about my anxiety. I would rather keep it low key. I have been with this company 4 years and I want to retire from there. I would hate to hurt myself long run.
Right now I am struggling and I am hoping it all works out. It just kills me that if I went to the Dr. and asked for time off due to my anxiety as long as she gives me 4 days all would be good as it then is covered under extended illness. If I try and make it own my own, go to work, and work in the Dr. around work I could end up in trouble for asking for unpaid leave in October.
Anyway, thanks for the response and if you could keep me in your prayers,
T
It does feel like I have been through a lot and you are right our bodies have a way of making us take care of ourselves.
I am not sure how comfortable I feel about talking to my boss about my anxiety. I would rather keep it low key. I have been with this company 4 years and I want to retire from there. I would hate to hurt myself long run.
Right now I am struggling and I am hoping it all works out. It just kills me that if I went to the Dr. and asked for time off due to my anxiety as long as she gives me 4 days all would be good as it then is covered under extended illness. If I try and make it own my own, go to work, and work in the Dr. around work I could end up in trouble for asking for unpaid leave in October.
Anyway, thanks for the response and if you could keep me in your prayers,
T
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 14
You got it, T. Prayers on the way for you.
I can understand about the uncomfortable-ness in talking to your boss, and about keeping it low-key. It is a place where I have been many times before and will be again, between a rock and a hard spot.
Prayers that you will find an answer and all will turn out, and...it will.
With much faith,
SunGrace
I can understand about the uncomfortable-ness in talking to your boss, and about keeping it low-key. It is a place where I have been many times before and will be again, between a rock and a hard spot.
Prayers that you will find an answer and all will turn out, and...it will.
With much faith,
SunGrace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 109
Hey all, I just wanted to give you an update on my day. I went to bed early and although I woke up several times I deep sleep restfully until 6:30 when it was time to get up.
Although I was extremly anxious, I made myself get ready. The 15 minute drive was horrendous full of thoughts of every conceivable what if. I arrived early and went to my office/cubicle to check email and voicemail. I took a few deep breaths and went to talk to my boss.
He asked how I was and I told him that I still was not feeling well but I wanted to come in and try and work. I asked him if he had talked to our Director about allowing me to make up Friday. He said he had and that they were going to let me make it up on a Saturday at quarter end. He said that he would have let me work the prior Saturday but he wanted me to have a chance to feel better. (ACK, if he just called and let me know I might have been wracked but such boughts of anxiety)
Anyway, talk about a weight lifted from my shoulders. It was such an immediate relief of anxiety I was almost shaking from the all the adrenaline that had been running through my body. The rest of the morning was rough as although I aws terribly relieved I was exhausted from the morning panic. A good lunch helped revive me and tonight with good supper behind me I am tired and looking forward to a good night of sleep.
Looking back, I can see how nothing I thought came to pass, nothing! I am so glad I took the choice of going straight in and dealing with the issue rather than going to the Dr. to ask for time off due to my anxiety. Although this would have also solved the problem, the way I chose allowed me to show my committment to work, and made me face the issue head on.
In closing let me say a thank you for all your words, thoughts and prayers!
T
Although I was extremly anxious, I made myself get ready. The 15 minute drive was horrendous full of thoughts of every conceivable what if. I arrived early and went to my office/cubicle to check email and voicemail. I took a few deep breaths and went to talk to my boss.
He asked how I was and I told him that I still was not feeling well but I wanted to come in and try and work. I asked him if he had talked to our Director about allowing me to make up Friday. He said he had and that they were going to let me make it up on a Saturday at quarter end. He said that he would have let me work the prior Saturday but he wanted me to have a chance to feel better. (ACK, if he just called and let me know I might have been wracked but such boughts of anxiety)
Anyway, talk about a weight lifted from my shoulders. It was such an immediate relief of anxiety I was almost shaking from the all the adrenaline that had been running through my body. The rest of the morning was rough as although I aws terribly relieved I was exhausted from the morning panic. A good lunch helped revive me and tonight with good supper behind me I am tired and looking forward to a good night of sleep.
Looking back, I can see how nothing I thought came to pass, nothing! I am so glad I took the choice of going straight in and dealing with the issue rather than going to the Dr. to ask for time off due to my anxiety. Although this would have also solved the problem, the way I chose allowed me to show my committment to work, and made me face the issue head on.
In closing let me say a thank you for all your words, thoughts and prayers!
T
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