stacey

Hi guys,

I‘d really appreciate your thoughts on this… I know it’s different for everyone, but when do you think it becomes a good idea to start taking meds? I’m not suicidal and I guess I’ve always thought ‘everyone has their problems, what makes me so special that I should take meds?’ But I also find life a lot harder than most people I know. Forget happiness, functioning is hard enough. Plus I’m drinking to try and get through it all which is worrying with both my parents being alcoholics.

A bit of a spiel on me… I developed depression a couple of years ago following a relationship with an addict. I really lost myself and was in a dark place for about a year afterwards, I could barely speak to people without crying and struggled to get out of bed. I never went on meds and managed to come out of it to a certain extent but have never been the same.

Long before that I already suffered from anxiety and now that’s become soooo much worse. I’m in a stressful job, trying to finish a university degree, have health issues and require ops, among all my own personal dramas (blah, blah, blah, just like every other person) but I’m failing miserably at everything in my life because I’m so exhausted from the anxiety that I can’t focus on anything. Just trying to do things, summoning the motivation, battling the inner demons to tell myself I can do it (also been told I suffer from ‘perfectionism’)… I’m exhausted just making it to a desk and that’s about as far as I can get before bursting into tears because it’s all too hard. I have tried pushing through it and forcing myself to tackle these tasks and I just broke down and became physically ill. Now I’m back trying to finish the university report that broke me last time (and which I subsequently failed) and nothing has changed. It’s the final subject I need to pass to get my degree and if I don’t pass it this time I’ll get kicked out, and I’m at breaking point again. I know all this is nothing special and there are so many people with much more serious problems, but ugh, I just can’t function with this anxiety anymore.

So… meds… And what is a ‘valid’ situation in which to start taking them… Any thoughts on the topic would be great. I don't even know if there are meds specifically for anxiety.

Thanks,
Stacey.

historyteach

Hi, Stacey;
And welcome to SR!

You've asked a valid question, and an important one. It's not good to reach for a pill to solve all of life's problems. We'd be greatly disapointed if we did. However, when anxiety and or depression interfer with life functioning, it's time we look more closely at the situation.

You've described major life disturbances. Further, you're abusing alcohol to deal with stressors. With your family background, that's not a great idea. There's evidence that suggests alcohol dependency *may* be genetically oriented. And your academic future may depend upon the course of action you take now.

Don't hold back trying to pick yourself up by your bootstraps. Talk to your doctor. Give yourself the hand up you deserve. Remember, we are responsible for ourselves. That responsibility includes taking care of ourself.

I wish you the best. Let us know how it's going.

Shalom!

NEEDTOBESOBER

Hi,

you sound a lot like me when you talk of anxiety and alcohol dependence, I also have both and also think I might have a depression problem. I was diagnosed w/ genralized anxiety disorder and panic attacks about 4 years ago and the Doc gave me a prescription for xanax-low dose and antidepressant, I think the first was Paxil, then I started taking too much xanax and the Paxil stopped working after about a year, then they put me on Lexapro which is I believe meant for anxiety, but that helped some but that stopped working after awhile too. I stopped taking xanax after a couple of years, cause it is very addictive and I would order off the internet, but the withdrawals from xanax or any other Benzo is the worst. Now I am taking clonezapam, which is in the class of Benzo's, but trying to wean myself off or just t ake as little as possible, so it had been suggested to me to talk to my doc and try to get off the Benzo's and try a different anti-depressant. But I did notice when i was sober for 33 days my anxiety seemed to go down and not be so bad. I also understand that alcohol abuse can cause anxiety and depression.

StrongR2Day

When I was doing everything right, going to meetings, working with a sponsor, eating and sleeping properly (to the best of my ability), in therapy...and I still had no quality of life, that's when I went on medication.

I actually had been diagnosed with a depressive disorder long before alcohol and drugs came to play in my life, so I knew I already had a history, as did my family. But when I got clean and sober, I wanted to see exactly what I was dealing with so I went off the meds for a year or so. I would never recommend that to anyone, though I managed to get through it somehow.

They've had to play with the medication, but now I'm doing great. I can laugh again, I can exercise, my world has opened up and I know I'm of more service to my family and fellows now that I can see the world through a new pair of glasses.

eire rose

Hello Stacey,

Alcohol is a depressant.

When I quit drinking my depression was alleviated, I am rarely depressed now. I was severly depressed after a relationship with an addict too, I turned to drink to try to numb the pain. I thought I would never get over it or function again, a 14 months later and 11 months sober of that time and life is a lot different.

I would suggest stop drinking for a while, even just give yourself 90 days and see how you feel then, if you still feel meds are the way to go then take that route, but it will give you some time to feel it out.

Love, Rose

michski

I'm no doctor but if you've been depressed for a long time then it's time to talk with your doctor about your depression. You don't need to go into the why's and when's about your life.. the fact that you have been depressed for a long time is reason enough. They do take a few weeks to kick in.

Be Well!

cinderellawkids

You said like me too, like all of us.
For me, I tried medication when I found I continua\osly couldnt function. The slightest upset at work or anywhere would set me off. My 2 year old would spill cereal and Id panic and I was so up and down I made myself dizzy. I tried for years to just relax, tried vitamins, herbs ect. When nothing worked consistently, including counseling I went on Lexapro and suddenly I feel great, like I havent in years

RedFox

I would talk to a doctor as soon as you can. You don't have to be suicidal to look for help. They may or may not put you on medication right away. I can tell you right now that your doctor would suggest you stop drinking before you go on any medication at all since they obviously don't mix. It took me over a year to get myself to go to the doctor for depression. My best friend at the time made me call the doctor to make an appointment and I am forever grateful because my life has become so much better since then.

stacey

Thanks so much for all of your comments, really helpful. I will speak with my doc soon and see what he recommends. I did speak with him when I first noticed the warning signs of depression (actually my sis mentioned it to him because she was worried about me) and he put me onto a free psychologist but she was terrible, would bring up issues but then go no way towards offering solutions to overcome them and i'd feel worse for days! She was actually still studying for her psychology degree, not qualified. So I stopped going. I do have another counsellor who I have seen infrequently for years (when I really hit the wall) and she is great but too expensive, hence the infrequency!

As for the drinking, that is only relatively recent in the last year or so (in terms of using alcohol just to numb it out and get some quiet from my noisy brain) so it was kind of a reaction to a pre-existing thing, but i do understand the whole vicious circle situation and how that can get out of hand as my ex used pot to escape his depression which only made it much much worse.

Thanks again guys, this is such a great and supportive community you have here and I look forward to getting more involved!

Take care all,
Stacey

shutterbug

just a few quick notes....

There are a lot of old threads you may find helpful in the Mental Health forum too.

Also, depression is rarely the main issue but rather a symptom of something more vast. Most don't know this, but unipolar (depression only) is not very common. Rather there's usually something else going on. I was in the midst of my second major depression before I even knew what bipolar disorder was or what major depression was.

Go see a doc...not a general doc, but a pdoc (a psychiatrist). This is what they are there for. They can help you figure out what may really be going on.

It's not normal depression if you are having trouble functioning...that's going toward the major depression side of things.

Also....seek out a therapist for the issues that you may not be aware of - which fall under a term of codependency, which you may know well already.

If you're in Alanon.....keep going! as many times a week as you can muster, and ask someone to go with you and even pick you up to help you get there. Or once you go a few times talk with someone about needing some support to help you attend. Many Alanons would love to help by picking people up and bringing them to meetings b/c they know what a major difference it can make in people's lives who have alcoholic loved ones, former relationships with addicts or any other introduction into the life of addiction.

AND STOP DRINKING!!! It IS a depressant and all it does is take your mind away for a while - which isn't helpful in the least. Our brains are programed to cope by dealing with the issues and if we avoid them by drinking or other means...it only post-pones the issues and they usually get worse in the mean time.

You are attracted to unhealthy people and that can be overcome and will help a long way on your emotional and mental state as well.

shutterbug

also....the 'perfectionism' comment from others may be a symptom of something else too...like ADD/ADHD.

And ADD can lead to bad depressions too. As can bipolar disorder, sleep apnea, thyroid issues, diabetis and a lot of other things.

So, I would suggest:

1. Go get a complete physical at a general docs office to check for any physical illnesses you may be unaware of yet.

2. If you snore then you most likely have sleep apnea which can mimic bipolar disorder (or make an already bipolar persons life even MORE difficult).

3. find a psychiatrist and take a list of issues going on with you being sure to explain difficulties functioning, the perfectionist comments, relationship issues, the anxiety, addiction issues and the job issues; and anything else that has a big impact on your life.

4. Check into going into a psychologist for a full diagnostic evaluation ...just to see what you might not be aware of.

5. stop drinking

6. find healthy ways of coping like Alanon

7. Fall in love with the Alanon program and what it has to offer.

8. Read up on alcoholism and mental health issues = depressions and anxiety.

9. Make up your mind that you want to get healthy and accept that that will take some effort on your part to learn HOW to live among healthy people and with a healthy perspectives...and that even a 1/2 step in the right direction toward all of this is still moving forward == lastly, keep moving forward, no matter what

Hugs,
Jenna

stacey

Wow thanks for all of the advice. I haven't been here for a couple of weeks so hadn't seen the new posts.

So an update: I finished my university degree!!! Yay!!! That ba**ard report that had been hanging over my head and I had attempted FOUR TIMES, I finally conquered it!!! That was such a huge thing for me, I know people finish degrees every other day but it became so tough for me with my anxiety and I finally did it so I'm really happy

Also I went to my Doc who prescribed Xanax but it didn't seem to have much effect on me except making me tired, so rather than start the rollercoaster of trying a million different drugs or sinking slowly in alcoholism, I decided to try and start by sorting out my headspace and figuring out where my anxiety comes from. I finally got this book that my counsellor recommended ages ago and it is really helpful. For anyone else that thinks their anxiety might be related to their perfectionsim, it's called:

"When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies For Coping With Perfectionism" by Martin M Antony and Richard P Swinson

I'm only half way through but it has made me realise that so much of my anxiety and other problems come from perfectionism and by adopting more positive thought patterns to stop the perfectionistic thinking, you can learn to stop the anxiety from developing. Anyways, one day at a time, haha.

Thanks again for all your advice guys.

Stacey

BSPGirl

I'd say talk to a dr. He/she can refer you to a therapist too cuz to me it seems there's a lot of crap in your life and you just don't have the 'tools' to deal with it properly and meds, while they might make ya feel better, I dunno, don't give you the tools either. Also anti depressants become useless when you don't minimize your alcohol intake.

Marte

Ten Chips Down

Hi Stacey!

"I’m in a stressful job, trying to finish a university degree, have health issues and require ops."

Lost me. I don't know what this "OPS" is.

"So... meds... And what is a ‘valid’ situation in which to start taking them…"

Yours, hon.

"Any thoughts on the topic would be great."

1) Stop drinking or find help for that.
2) See a doctor -- a psychiatrist -- and get on the RIGHT meds for you.

Best,
TenChips

best

When a quality Dr says they are "needed" is the right time.
Us saying we "want" them is the wrong time...Unless a quality Dr says we need them.
Stopping the alcohol before any testing will give you a good base line of need with proper testing.
How do you find a quality Dr? Ask questions at treatment centers and hospitals. Ask your primary Dr if they know of a Dr that is thorough and not a quick fix Dr.

Ten Chips Down

Which is exactly why I loathe the advertising of Rx meds during the news.

Ten Chips Down

Got it! Just came to me. LOL If you'd have said OP's like that I would have picked up on it.

You have unmanaged pain, are undermedicated and have to turn to online pharmacies for add'tl pain meds. See that's all you had to say.

Ten Chips Down

Actually, just noticed this is the Anxiety forum so that was a pretty presumptuous thing for me to say... Who knows what your other health issues are? And who am i to say - so apologies.

ccgirl

My doc always says that when the illness interferes with your ability to live a quality life, for a lengthy period, maybe you need meds.

Ten Chips Down

That is eerily similar to the criterion used to determine when you're an alcoholic or not--or at least whether alcohol has become "a problem in your life" and you should quit drinking: When it disrupts normal routines and hampers your ability to live a quality life. <-- "Then maybe it's time to look at stopping drinking," interventionists and others will says.

Now that's weird. It's like the same but in reverse!