ranae1221

When you have a bad day, bad week, just a bad life, what keeps you from giving up? What keeps you going when you can't find a reason and everything screams at you to just end your suffering?

doorknob

My belief that this life is all I've got.

cinderellawkids

Focusing on something I enjoy, and If that does not do it, I find something nerw to enjoy

Live

My son commited suicide. So, even in my worst depression, I might wish something would happen to me, but my responsibility to others and the effects upon them are unthinkable. Besides that I tell myself...well, I guess if I have to I can always go join the circus. So....in the end I have no choice, and that being the case, I might as well do anything I can to get better. And I have. I was so deeply depressed at one point, I do not want to ever go there again. I have recurrent depression. But I just work at getting healthier. One little habit at a time. And resting, repairing when needed. I try to be safe, gentle and kind to myself.
live

upanddownjj

I try SOOO Hard to remember that this too shall pass..I know it is difficult, but thank God it has passed before - so at least I have that history...I know it HAS got better before - so I don't think I'm doomed to the HOLE forever..I just am impatient to get out...I remember the feeling, it is so difficult to have hope..I'm glad I have SR now...so others can give me these reminders when I am down....Hang in there..It WILL PASS !!!

Janni

michski

I've learned never to say that things can't get worse because I've learned they definitely can. Since my recovery from booze and drugs I've developed a habit of forcing myself to be grateful for just one thing... Then I become flooded with gratitude by lots of other things and then my life starts looking up. Gratitude works wonders!

Live

I also see a good Dr.

Arura

What keeps me going is that if i sruvive addiction i Might just get to be a grandma.With long white hair... ...?.

1Marty

Many days I forget what keeps me going, my head is so full of the noise of life that I just dont know. One of the things that keep me going is the sence of accomplishment and peace that can come when I stop doing what I want to do, and do what I know I should.

ranae1221

i'm just having a really really hard time finding a reason to stay in this life that hurts so much. i can't find anything. the things i used to do, the reasons i used to keep going don't matter anymore. it doesn't mean anything.

Live

Sorry, I can't remember but are you on antidepressants? How long?
Usually when I am most depressed, my chemicals are not right.

ranae1221

yeah, been on meds for 5 years. done the whole doctor, therapy, group therapy thing. i am tired of it, it just doesn't seem to work anymore. and yes the medication has been adjusted/changed, new ones started within the last 9 months. nothing works. and i don't even really care anymore.

shutterbug

Ranae...for me, it's many things...but it took me a while to get there. I accepted that this is the lot I've been given and I can't change it so I decided that I was going to learn as much as I could to help me live a happy life. So learning and reading and talking to others kept me going at first. Then as I started gaining wisdom and insight...I began to see my bipolar as a gift. It makes me the creative and unique person I am, but mostly I have the ability to help others learn to cope and heal...while I'm continuing to heal myself.

I'm not perfect, so I figure I'll never run out of things to learn to help raise my quality of life. And I want children so desperately (some day) that I also realized the more I learn and stubble through it all right now...the easier it will be for my children. They will have someone to guide them...where as we are all having to start from scratch and learn from the beginning.

In fact, not a day goes by now when I'm spending time with my 2 1/2 year old nephews where I don't realize how much of my own learning is influenzing their lives for the positive already!

And I continue to push myself to work on the things I'm good at. Mastering something, anything always warms us inside and adds glitter to our lives.

But most important, I always try to remind myself that the darkness always fades eventually. It may fade tomorrow, or the sun may hide for nearly two years....but I know I can make it through both and so I just accept it, ask for patience and then wait until storm breaks.

That's my two cents,
hugs

shutterbug

when was the last time you had a med change? Doc might want to try a different one. Many, like my Effexor, tend to loose their benefits over time and a switch needs to be made or the meds upped. This happened with me and after being off the Effexor for several months, I was able to go back to it and it worked again.

Your meds may need another adjustment. What are your thoughts on ECT?...i'm sure you've said, but I can't remember.

Have you ever tried a gratitude list...and actually kept it up by adding at least one thing every day? I totally didn't warm up to such a thing for a long, long time until I finally realize that MAKING yourself find some positive things in your days (even something as small as putting on a clean nightgown or toilet paper...or having enough cigerrettes so that you didn't have to move from the couch, out the door and to a store to buy more....) ANYTHING you can put on that list will bring you a few millimeters up from the depths of the depression.

It's a fact that it's impossible to be grateful and depressed at the same time. So...give yourself a few minutes of a break out of the darkness for a few minutes each day and I promise it will bring you up and double it's effectiveness on your positive health each day you add to that list.

I know it seems like the most difficult task anyone could ask you to do, but it's also one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself when you are feeling the grips of major depression.

hugs for you,

BSPGirl

Books, music, the beauty of nature and the power that lies within myself, this all keeps me going. I dun care much about afterlife or not, perhaps there is one, perhaps not, we all gotta do it right here and now and leave our mark upon the earth, somehow.

Marte

MagdaM

Fear. Fear keeps me going. haha, sad huh?

Lilya

What keeps me going when everything else fails?

My children.

Working for my civil rights organization. I meet people who have it thousand times worse than I can possibly have.

Nature. If I don´t have access to nature, just listening to music from nature seems to calm the despression.

Accepting the things I cannot change for the moment: Allowing myself to be sad from time to time.

Sometimes it just helps to sleep for a while.

Love and light,

shutterbug

wonderfuly and very true Lilya!

scootinbabe

what keeps me here on planet earth is my children. if i "offed" myself--which i've examined many times--i fear that they would be stigmatized or burdened. i don't ever want them to think that i don't love them or allow them to question their responsibility. suicide is the most selfish of actions--and i don't want to lay that on them for the rest of their lives.

what's physically kept me going is life with three active young kids
what's kept me going mentally....hmmm, that one is out for debate!
emotionally...hugs and kisses and "mommy i love you" goes an amazingly long way of keeping me going, even through the darkest periods.

i'd like to say i have a greater mission or purpose here but just am not at that point yet.