Imagination?

[vague_trace]

I am 43 married with kids and am in therapy. Last wk after much mumble jumble talking by me we got to the fact that I have been hiding the other me, the younger me aged about 10. I could see her/me as clearly as anythink, my therapist said that I will not own her/me and that I am split. After the session I had this feeling of a octupus in my head telling me bad things about her/me and I was and still am afraid to look at the image of her/me. Everytime I get near to accepting her as a part of me I get imense fear in my stomach. Today I feel the octupus is gone my head feels quiter. Does anyone relate to any of this?

I felt that fear in my stomach every time I had a memory from childhood surface. As the memory came up the fear became intense and was in my stomach and my chest. It was always something I didn't remember that caused the intense fear. The fear came from the child's point of view and usually the adult could handle the memory without much problem. It's getting to the truth that caused most of the emotion. Once I knew the truth I could process it very quickly. The memories that involved the emotion of shame were the very hardest to look at. When your out and about try to find someone who is 10 years old so you get a better idea of how old you were at that time. We tend to think of ourselves as little adults and that's just not true. We were children.

Hugs,
MG