((((Reality)))

[indigo]

I have lost years of my life through trauma, sometimes I think great this is it reality then whoosh I hit a wall I am blind deaf and speechless! I can't cope with lies how do you cope with people whi lie so well that if you didn't know better you would believe them? With my learning problems I take everything literally and often when friends are joking and I answer because to me it's real they feel bad and I end up comforting them I am 50 in April I can't change my genetic flaws I can't change my past, I don't feel anger now just sadness and emptiness and no amount of reassurance makes me feel like someone of worth....whine whine yet I don't fel so sorry for me as much as for people who love me and try to understand do I make sense?

indigo

That makes sense to me Indigo.

I think positive self talk and reassurance has a good place, but most of our worth has to come from working through issues from deep within us. Our "within" seems to have more power than our "without". Sadness and emptiness are a part of the journey. You won't stay there because you have a desire to recover and a willingness to keep moving forward. I am 51 and still groping through this. I want to die happy, lol.

I feel bad for the people who have to live around me too and try to keep them informed of where I'm at so they don't take me personally. It helps.

Hugs