Newlight7

I'm a binge drinker. At this point in my life I rarely drink too much, but recently I did. I blacked out, worse than I ever have. Now I'm overcome with anxiety. I can't stop worrying about what I said or what I did. I make up things to worry about. Has anyone else ever experienced this? I stopped drinking for good the following day, but I'm still a mess. I cry constantly and I feel doomed.

ScottFromWI

Yes, anxiety is very common after a binge/blackout. And if you deal with anxiety separately, alcohol can make it worse. Quitting drinking was a good idea, do you see anyone specifically about your anxiety?

Soberandhealthy

Hi newlight 7,

I'm sorry you are going thru this. I been there and done that and it's a horrible feeling it suck any happiness you may want to experience. Only time can lessen the feeling of dread and shame. I have some memories that I just prefer to suppress because I can't explain to myself my past behavior during blackouts. Sometimes I even thought and crazy or simply a horrible amoral person. Such love towards me ha! I'm just to afraid to drink now because horrible things may happen.

You are not alone in this hang in there. This will also pass but to stop it from happening again well you are going to have to quit for good. Best of luck!
(Me too no more booze)

Astro

I dealt with horrible anxiety and loss of sleep in early recovery, quitting drinking cold turkey amplified the anxiety.

Time and earnest recovery efforts eased it, years later I can barely remember what it feels like to have anxiety.

Newlight7

I can't wait to be anxiety and depression free. I'm experiencing anxiety to the point it's almost obsessive/paranoid. I need to go back to the doctor.

I used to be the most confident, out spoken person you'd meet. Now I'm socially withdrawn and scared of everything. I'm afraid to speak up. I hate what alcohol has done to me.

Fusion

Newlight, I too would be overcome with anxiety and depression after a drinking blackout. What did I do, say etc., why oh why did I drink too much.... round and round the thoughts went.

Now that I've stopped drinking, no more blackouts, no more blackout related anxiety and after a month or so, the depression lifted.

However, although my anxiety and depression seemed to be caused by drinking too much alcohol, I also know people who suffer from both, but don't drink. So, as you say, it would be a good idea to consult your doctor. Hope you're feeling OK now!

Newlight7

The problem I'm having is it's been over 3 weeks and I'm still struggling. Is that normal?

biminiblue

It took many months for my anxiety to settle down. It was a gradual process, and I was improving day by day - but it took me nearly a year to feel like I was healed.

Exercise was (and still is ) a great tool for anxiety. Think of your anxiety as nervous energy - even 50 jumping jacks will help, but I love a long walk in nature.

Hang on, this too shall pass.

Newlight7

I do exercise regularly. I run, it's my release. You're right, it does help a lot.

SeaOfSerenity

I'm near to 8 weeks sober and have suffered serve depression and anxiety for around 10 years while drinking the whole time.
when I got sober I had a nervous breakdown and thought id gone mad the anxiety was unreal. I could barely get out of bed for the first two weeks. I thought that was it I'm ******. ive stopped drinking and now don't have anything to help me cope.

the last couple of days are the first ive not felt crippling anxiety or depression since I started drinking. I wish I new back then how id feel today. abstinence, hard work being healthy, and talking have been huge. you really have to put in a lot of effort with these every day. eventually it becomes less effort as it takes affect.

kittycat3

Yep I've been there, brain going crazy trying to remember the night, to fill in the blank spots. Some memories come back sporadically but then you hyperanalyze, rehash over and over and your brain starts to confuse what is real and what is fake.
Good news is if you stop drinking, this never happens.

Dee74

It's one of the worst feelings isn't it?

I found there was literally nothing I could do to remember some nights let alone do anything to change the past...

so I made mental peace with whatever happened and forgave myself, in time, and I re-committed to making sure that it would never happen again.

I'm sorry you feel this way newlight but you're among people who understand

D

Newlight7

That's how I feel, like I'm having a nervous breakdown. It's hard to function. I too wish I hadn't started drinking. What I thought was "cool and fun" in my 20s became a habit and crippling as the years rolled by.

I'm going to beat this though. I've been keeping a journal of my raw emotions through quitting. That way if I ever want to go back, I have my own words to remind me why I can't.

French123

I can relate to this a lot. Whenever I used to black out I would have what I called "emotional hangovers". I used to obsess over what could have happened the night before. I would catch an extreme case of the "what ifs". What if I hurt someone last night. What if I cheated last night. What if I stole something last night. What if I said something terrible that I can never take back. All those type of things. Sometimes those thoughts and feelings would only last a day or two but sometimes they would go on for weeks after a blackout. I would question people I was with trying to get validation that nothing bad happened. That is one aspect of my drinking that I definitely do not miss.

Sorry that you are feeling this way! All I can say is that it does get better and that for me, in hindsight, I can see now how irrational many of those thoughts and feelings were.

Newlight7

Thank you so much. My husband and brother keep tell me what I'm thinking is ridiculous, but it's very real to me. It's been almost a month, and I'm still panicking. I'm going back to the doctors tomorrow. I have to get a handle on this.

French123

I know how you are feeling all too well. Definitely not a fun place to be. As much as people tell you that nothing happened and that you are being crazy those thoughts and feelings don't seem to subside. I guess for me the reason they eventually went away is because after several weeks I kind of realized that if anything really serious happened I would know by then. I promise it goes away even though you feel stuck in it right now.

SeaOfSerenity

read up on PAWS mate. reading this made me realise that it is still withdrawal. it will get better. fight it and be patient

Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome: Causes, Symptoms, Treatment

Newlight7

I'm rereading this thread as a reminder. 40 days sober and av is whispering in my head. My anxiety has lessened, but I don't want to forget why I'm here.

flame11

Pleased that you are feeling a bit better Newlight. I too suffered from crippling anxiety after blackouts , which used to happen most times I drank. I'm only just over two weeks away from a drink and this thread has been a great reminder to me of why I'm here too, thank you.

Hercules

I totally understand where your coming from... the anxiety the next day was just completely soul destroying I could not even swallow food or breath properly the next day after a binge, ultimately it was the final nail in the coffin for my drinking days thank god...

I would sometimes the next day be convinced the police where coming to arrest me and be constantly looking out the window and god forbid If I saw a police car lol all hell would break loose with my anxiety lol.

But in the End I accepted my blackouts and my behaviour as a consequence of drinking that's the sadest part I stopped caring what I said or did.

Stop now and things will get better, after 32 days sober Iam pretty much anxiety free.