kzaug2014

If you believe in God, ask Him to help you & that You need His help ( or even if you don't believe...it can't hurt, right? )

kzaug2014

You're not going to loose your child by trying to help yourself hun. You need to call for help. Don't worry about your husband right now. Tell him that you NEED to get help & he needs to watch your son. You can do this sweety.

patricia68

All I need to do is to stop drinking. How do I do that? In half an hour I'm going to start feeling panic and anxiety and horrible thoughts. I've done it before, I know. How do I do it again. I am scared.

kzaug2014

Start by dumping the alcohol out hun

kzaug2014

Next, go to the deep breathing links that SW posted

kzaug2014

Did you pour the alcohol out hun?

patricia68

Not yet. 1/4 of a bottle left.
I want to go to the store and get more.
I can't stop.
But I want to stop.
i am scared.

patricia68

It's either going to the store and get more alcohol or take more benzos.
I don't want them!
I want to be free!
But I can't deal with the panic!

kzaug2014

You can do this Patricia. Mixing alcohol w/benzos is dangerous. Please dump out the alcohol. You can be free, but you've got to fight.

patricia68

I know kzaug. I am so scared of another blackout. If my husband finds out it will be the end of our marriage. I am scared. I need to stop this. I am scared that my Dr won't give me any more benzos. I am scared of not being able to deal with this panic without alcohol. kzaug I want to be free of this ridiculous addiction!

kzaug2014

I understand you're scared hun, but the only way to be free of your addiction is to quit. Yea, I know that sounds simplistic, but you need to stop drinking sometime, so why not right now? One step at a time & we can talk about the benzos at a later date. What do you think?

patricia68

You are right. Alcohol makes anxiety much worse. I am so scared kzaug.

Blacky

You will get through this Patricia, You Will Be Ok.

I understand you are overwhelmed by thoughts and such.
I learned that if we look at what is worrying us most of it concerns the past and things we can not change. So you can try and realize that and not dwell on those things .. try .. ok the rest, you can deal with as it is required .. try and realize that ..

Ok the important thing now is to take care of yourself and don't get any more alcohol. You know it won't help. Then try and calm yourself somehow, you will be ok .. I am wishing you strength, you have done this before so you know it will get better.

patricia68

Thank you Blacky. I totally lost my confidence today. And I don't know how to get it back.

kzaug2014

Patricia, I read in the other forum that you are scared of loosing your home. I did loose my home in 2002. It was my dream home & I was devastated back then. But, it turned out to be the best thing for my hubs & I. We had started doing meth & moving helped us to get clean. Point?...there's a reason everything happens ( sometimes it takes yrs to know why though. )

Dee74

Tomorrow will be better Patricia - if not tomorrow the day after.

Right now you've been drinking - it's hard to keep a balanced perspective when alcohol fuels despair and panic, yeah?

D

patricia68

thank you. I trust you Dee and kzaug. You are the only help and hope I have.

Winslow

Try to get some rest Patricia, ugh,I feel so and helpless right now😢 just please stop drinking, i know its hard as I've almost had to go to a dry out place before,I had to put down the booze and rely on the klonopin to detox,this is the exact reason I'm scared to go off of them completely,I'm scared I'll panic and drink,then need them again too,my hearts breaking for you right now honey,please be safe

kzaug2014

Patricia, is it late enough where you live to call it a night & try to sleep?

patricia68

It's 8:20pm. Still 2 hours to go.