I'm living Benzo free
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Hi Marcus,
That's great!
I wish I knew how it felt to taper, but I can't, as I was cut off cold turkey.
Tapering is always the best way, imo!
Maybe someone here will see your post & let you know how it went for them?
All I know is, I love the clear mind I now have!
Take care!
That's great!
I wish I knew how it felt to taper, but I can't, as I was cut off cold turkey.
Tapering is always the best way, imo!
Maybe someone here will see your post & let you know how it went for them?
All I know is, I love the clear mind I now have!
Take care!
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Good morning!
I've come to realize over the past mo., that I really enjoy my mornings now!
In the 10yrs. that I was prescribed klonopin ( & pain killers) I normally slept until noon. If I had an early appointment I had to be to, I drug myself out of bed w/little determination & much dread! I just figured I was a night owl!
Now, I go to bed at 10pm ( not 2,3 or 4am. ) And I rise at 8am every morning now, w/no help of an alarm clock! It's great!
I've come to realize over the past mo., that I really enjoy my mornings now!
In the 10yrs. that I was prescribed klonopin ( & pain killers) I normally slept until noon. If I had an early appointment I had to be to, I drug myself out of bed w/little determination & much dread! I just figured I was a night owl!
Now, I go to bed at 10pm ( not 2,3 or 4am. ) And I rise at 8am every morning now, w/no help of an alarm clock! It's great!
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Oops, forgot to post yesterday! I'm old, so give me a break lol!
It's gorgeous here in Western Mi and I'm in a great mood! It's my 20th yr. anniversary today ( the hubby's too!
)
And....I'm still clean!!! Yea!
It's gorgeous here in Western Mi and I'm in a great mood! It's my 20th yr. anniversary today ( the hubby's too!
)And....I'm still clean!!! Yea!
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I'm having a really bad day today. Suspect my hubby may be doing some sort of drug..what? Idk? All I know is that we were in the emergency room 3x's a wk from yesterday because he didn't sleep for 3 days or nights. But now he's been sleeping like a baby ever since. His psychiatrist did give him a new non narcotic sleep med last Mon., so I'm praying that's why he's sleeping ( but that seems just too easy, as my hubby doesn't normally metabolize medicine like normal human beings do...his psychiatrist did a DNA test on him & found that out of approx 40 different antidepressants, his body only metabolized 1! )
Also worried that my 22yr old son is on something too. He's been treating me like crap, sleeping a lot & he missed work today. He was doing adderals for about 6mos last yr., but quit last Aug., when I quit. I know he's not on addys because he's sleeping too much. Maybe something else? Again, idk?
There's only 1 thing I know for sure! I'm still drug free & will remain that way for the rest of my life!
Also worried that my 22yr old son is on something too. He's been treating me like crap, sleeping a lot & he missed work today. He was doing adderals for about 6mos last yr., but quit last Aug., when I quit. I know he's not on addys because he's sleeping too much. Maybe something else? Again, idk?
There's only 1 thing I know for sure! I'm still drug free & will remain that way for the rest of my life!
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Hi kzaug. I have been clean and sober (Klonopin, Ambien and alcohol) for almost 2 years. It is so freeing not counting pills, or slinking into the pharmacy holding my breath hoping that my refill will go through. My anxiety level has never been so low.
The main issue I had during the first year was feeling flat. I was put on a very low dose of Seroquel in rehab. I weaned off of the Seroquel shortly after leaving rehab. While I hated how dull it made me, it did serve to get me over the anxiety of sleeping without my dangerous combination of DOC's. I worked with an addiction's counselor who advised me that I would need to be patient and see my recovery as a long term endeavor as my 20 year use of Ambien and decade long run with Klonopin had undoubtedly caused changes in my brain's chemistry. It has not been a straight line but the more time I put under my belt the more obvious it becomes that my body is indeed figuring out new circuitry.
Here in suburban NYC it seems commonplace to hear about other women taking Ambien or Restoril or Xanax…even after drinking. I did not realize how dangerous these drugs are and I capitalized on the fact that it seemed like "everyone" was doing the same thing. And there was no shortage of doctors willing to write scripts.
Sadly, it wasn't until I got sober that I realized it is a lot harder to find a doctor who understand the addictive nature of benzos. I can't say I miss them. Except for a very rcent(situationally induced) bout of sleeplessness, my sleep has never been better or more restorative. I don't miss feeling fuzzy and I don't miss the rumination that took up more and more space in my head.
I am sorry you are struggling with concerns over your son and husband. I did go through some extreme periods of sleeping too much or too little early on…I hope that is what is going on for them. I just wanted to offer support and let you know that life only gets better!
The main issue I had during the first year was feeling flat. I was put on a very low dose of Seroquel in rehab. I weaned off of the Seroquel shortly after leaving rehab. While I hated how dull it made me, it did serve to get me over the anxiety of sleeping without my dangerous combination of DOC's. I worked with an addiction's counselor who advised me that I would need to be patient and see my recovery as a long term endeavor as my 20 year use of Ambien and decade long run with Klonopin had undoubtedly caused changes in my brain's chemistry. It has not been a straight line but the more time I put under my belt the more obvious it becomes that my body is indeed figuring out new circuitry.
Here in suburban NYC it seems commonplace to hear about other women taking Ambien or Restoril or Xanax…even after drinking. I did not realize how dangerous these drugs are and I capitalized on the fact that it seemed like "everyone" was doing the same thing. And there was no shortage of doctors willing to write scripts.
Sadly, it wasn't until I got sober that I realized it is a lot harder to find a doctor who understand the addictive nature of benzos. I can't say I miss them. Except for a very rcent(situationally induced) bout of sleeplessness, my sleep has never been better or more restorative. I don't miss feeling fuzzy and I don't miss the rumination that took up more and more space in my head.
I am sorry you are struggling with concerns over your son and husband. I did go through some extreme periods of sleeping too much or too little early on…I hope that is what is going on for them. I just wanted to offer support and let you know that life only gets better!
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Ty Jaynie & it's a pleasure to meet you!
I agree w/you about not missing the klonopin one bit ( even on days like today. ) I don't miss the opiates either. I am still going through the residual effects from suboxine withdrawal, which I quit on Feb.25 ( makes my anxiety worse for the moment. ) I haven't really talked about it much on this particular thread, because frankly, unless someone has gone through it, they really wouldn't understand ( much like benzo withdrawal, though not as severe. )
I really appreciate your support and your story! Ty!
I agree w/you about not missing the klonopin one bit ( even on days like today. ) I don't miss the opiates either. I am still going through the residual effects from suboxine withdrawal, which I quit on Feb.25 ( makes my anxiety worse for the moment. ) I haven't really talked about it much on this particular thread, because frankly, unless someone has gone through it, they really wouldn't understand ( much like benzo withdrawal, though not as severe. )
I really appreciate your support and your story! Ty!
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Well, dropped the husband off @ rehab yesterday. He'll be gone for approximately a mo., because he's going to a Georgia rehab after he detoxes in Mi.
Apparently my son knew that Mr. Kz was back on drugs before I did. He's now back to his cheery self again, thank goodness! Poor kid! I feel so bad for him.
Yes, I'm still drug free!
Apparently my son knew that Mr. Kz was back on drugs before I did. He's now back to his cheery self again, thank goodness! Poor kid! I feel so bad for him.
Yes, I'm still drug free!
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Ty Catherine & hi JayG!
I'm happy to report that I'm still drug free!
I haven't posted in quite awhile due to the fact that I've been busy busy busy! This past summer was a total blast. My hubs has been clean from heroin since Apr & I've been clean for 14mos, 1wk.
When I was actively using, I literally thought that I was suffering an early onset of dementia. My grandma died from Alzheimer's ( she forgot how to eat & had set up a dnr. ) And my mother was diagnosed w/dementia a couple of yrs before she passed. This was 1 of the many excuses I used to keep using drugs, "I'm just going to end up a mindless, disabled F__ anyways, so why bother?"
Well, I've now come to realize that it was the drugs affecting my memory. Same w/my hubs.
I also became extremely agoraphobia the last couple of yrs on drugs, only venturing out of my house to go to doctors appts ( to get scripts ) or to score drugs after I lost my doctor last yr. Now I go everywhere! And love it!
It's been a very long haul, but I wouldn't trade the 3/4's yr of hell I went through to get where I am now...for anything!
Peace!
I'm happy to report that I'm still drug free!
I haven't posted in quite awhile due to the fact that I've been busy busy busy! This past summer was a total blast. My hubs has been clean from heroin since Apr & I've been clean for 14mos, 1wk.
When I was actively using, I literally thought that I was suffering an early onset of dementia. My grandma died from Alzheimer's ( she forgot how to eat & had set up a dnr. ) And my mother was diagnosed w/dementia a couple of yrs before she passed. This was 1 of the many excuses I used to keep using drugs, "I'm just going to end up a mindless, disabled F__ anyways, so why bother?"
Well, I've now come to realize that it was the drugs affecting my memory. Same w/my hubs.
I also became extremely agoraphobia the last couple of yrs on drugs, only venturing out of my house to go to doctors appts ( to get scripts ) or to score drugs after I lost my doctor last yr. Now I go everywhere! And love it!
It's been a very long haul, but I wouldn't trade the 3/4's yr of hell I went through to get where I am now...for anything!
Peace!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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I've been on 1 mg of klono for about 9 years,I tried tapering in Feb due to a new doctor not "believing" in prescribing benzos,got to .75 for a month then a new doc put me back on 1 mg,yes I've drank on them through the years too,I want off but I still have anxiety issues and am scared of dealing with it,I cut hair for a living and a shakey hand is not a good attribute, hope its ok I posted here😊
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Ty JayG & Kiki! If my story could possibly help anyone out, that would make me very happy!
Hi Winslow! I think it's great that you posted here!
I'm going to explain what happens to a brain when klonopin is introduced to it...the way my current doctor explained it to me.
When we take benzos, the receptors in our brain no longer have to work in response to anxiety. After long periods of time, those receptors bend ( or break ) because klonopin has been doing the job that they were suppose to do. And when we quit taking klonopin, our anxiety sharply raises because the receptors are broken & need time to repair themselves. Thus, withdrawals begin.
I wanted you to have this information because I was completely uninformed in 2009. The doctor I was seeing for a couple of years quit & a new doctor who didn't believe in prescribing the klonopin, methadone or Norco that I had been previously prescribed. She also didn't believe in weaning apparently because I was cute off cold turkey.
My withdrawals began & I know they were from the klonopin alone because I was able to obtain methadone on the street. I was prescribed 2mg/day the entire 10yrs. I won't go through the trauma I went through during those withdrawals, but will say I was still a nervous wreck after 3mos.
I'm finally reaching my point lol.
I went to see a psychiatrist & told her how I felt like a walking nervous breakdown. And she replied "of course you do. You have PTSD & will need to be on klonopin for the rest of your life." Well, of course, that made perfect sense to me lol ( & I hold no ill will towards her. I just don't think she was informed.
So, last yr when I decided I didn't want to rely on such addictive drugs anymore, I educated myself & talked to my then new doctor.
I think it's important to realize the facts about benzo withdrawal so you know what to expect. If I had known the 1st time around that it could take up to a yr for my brain to heal, I may have stuck it out. But I really thought I needed that klonopin for the rest of my life.
A few more points...I was taking twice as much as you are, I didn't have the opportunity to wean ( either time. ) Finally, everyone has a different genetic makeup ( I've heard of people that have gone through very little benzo withdrawals. )
Benzos are not meant for long time use. They were originally discovered to be beneficial to epilepsy or other seizure disorders. When an epileptic has a seizure, his/her brain misfires & benzodiazepines counteract that misfiring, thus help an epileptic to become seizure free.
Hope you don't mind that I went on a bit further than I intended. There's a lot of support here at SR. In fact, it's the only support system I've used!
Hi Winslow! I think it's great that you posted here!
I'm going to explain what happens to a brain when klonopin is introduced to it...the way my current doctor explained it to me.
When we take benzos, the receptors in our brain no longer have to work in response to anxiety. After long periods of time, those receptors bend ( or break ) because klonopin has been doing the job that they were suppose to do. And when we quit taking klonopin, our anxiety sharply raises because the receptors are broken & need time to repair themselves. Thus, withdrawals begin.
I wanted you to have this information because I was completely uninformed in 2009. The doctor I was seeing for a couple of years quit & a new doctor who didn't believe in prescribing the klonopin, methadone or Norco that I had been previously prescribed. She also didn't believe in weaning apparently because I was cute off cold turkey.
My withdrawals began & I know they were from the klonopin alone because I was able to obtain methadone on the street. I was prescribed 2mg/day the entire 10yrs. I won't go through the trauma I went through during those withdrawals, but will say I was still a nervous wreck after 3mos.
I'm finally reaching my point lol.
I went to see a psychiatrist & told her how I felt like a walking nervous breakdown. And she replied "of course you do. You have PTSD & will need to be on klonopin for the rest of your life." Well, of course, that made perfect sense to me lol ( & I hold no ill will towards her. I just don't think she was informed.
So, last yr when I decided I didn't want to rely on such addictive drugs anymore, I educated myself & talked to my then new doctor.
I think it's important to realize the facts about benzo withdrawal so you know what to expect. If I had known the 1st time around that it could take up to a yr for my brain to heal, I may have stuck it out. But I really thought I needed that klonopin for the rest of my life.
A few more points...I was taking twice as much as you are, I didn't have the opportunity to wean ( either time. ) Finally, everyone has a different genetic makeup ( I've heard of people that have gone through very little benzo withdrawals. )
Benzos are not meant for long time use. They were originally discovered to be beneficial to epilepsy or other seizure disorders. When an epileptic has a seizure, his/her brain misfires & benzodiazepines counteract that misfiring, thus help an epileptic to become seizure free.
Hope you don't mind that I went on a bit further than I intended. There's a lot of support here at SR. In fact, it's the only support system I've used!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Thanks for the reply Kzaug,when I made the cut in Feb,I had anxiety, insomnia,nausea,all the usual withdrawal symptoms, after a month I started evening out then stupidly went back up to 1 mg,now when I try and cut by 1/4 I get super anxious after a few days and im not sure how to deal with it,the problem is that the klono still works so good on my anxiety but its time to heal and I don't want to be in a situation where the docs try to cut me off cold turkey again,please share any skills you used to cope with withdrawal, thank you
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I actually didn't do much anything right ( especially the 1st time ) since I grudgingly cold turkeyed it.
But, after I was feeling up to it ( after the initial 30 days or so ) I googled how to deal with anxiety. I found deep breathing to be beneficial. There are different techniques...you can Google it & find out what works best for you. I also quit all forms of caffeine & switched to only drinking water ( & it's very important to stay hydrated during withdrawals. ) I actually tried a cup of coffee after a couple mos, but started shaking like a leaf, so no more coffee for me lol.
I've also read that meditation, exercise & yoga work for people.
You would need to talk w/your doctor, but they gave me trazadone to sleep better in rehab. Also a non narcotic anxiety med called visceral, but I couldn't take that because my blood pressure plummeted to 50/30 when on that med. Again, ask your doc.
You know, I initially quit because I was never going to be cut off by a doctor again. In retrospect, I'm grateful for the hell I went through because the memories alone are enough to keep me away from any benzo for the rest of my life.
Feel free to post anytime for any reason, Winslow.
But, after I was feeling up to it ( after the initial 30 days or so ) I googled how to deal with anxiety. I found deep breathing to be beneficial. There are different techniques...you can Google it & find out what works best for you. I also quit all forms of caffeine & switched to only drinking water ( & it's very important to stay hydrated during withdrawals. ) I actually tried a cup of coffee after a couple mos, but started shaking like a leaf, so no more coffee for me lol.
I've also read that meditation, exercise & yoga work for people.
You would need to talk w/your doctor, but they gave me trazadone to sleep better in rehab. Also a non narcotic anxiety med called visceral, but I couldn't take that because my blood pressure plummeted to 50/30 when on that med. Again, ask your doc.
You know, I initially quit because I was never going to be cut off by a doctor again. In retrospect, I'm grateful for the hell I went through because the memories alone are enough to keep me away from any benzo for the rest of my life.
Feel free to post anytime for any reason, Winslow.
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Well you've given me hope Kzaug😁since I still have a scrip for the klono,I'm gonna start doing a cut today,slow and steady and just dealwwith the outcome,its dumb cuz when I was first prescribed, I was told to take.5 3 times a day,no way!one pill sent me to sleep,so I would only take .25 1/2 of the full,5 tablet for years,I always had extra and most of the time the prescription would expire,I curse the day 2 years ago I started taking 2 full pills a day! I thought it would help keep me off the booze,it didn't, maybe even made it worse somehow? I dunno but here goes,thanks again😊
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That's great, Winslow!
Yeah I don't think people realize just how potent these meds are until they have to withdraw off them ( I know I didn't. )
Slow & steady is most definitely the way to go & I urge you to talk to a doctor about it. I think the anxiety part of withdrawals last the longest because those damaged receptors ( that help relegate anxiety to begin with ) can take so long to repair themselves. I think the 1st time I tried to detox off klonopin I was under the impression that once the drugs were completely out of my body, I'd feel completely better. Knowing the facts really helped me get clean the 2nd go around.
Btw, congrats on 13 days sober!
Yeah I don't think people realize just how potent these meds are until they have to withdraw off them ( I know I didn't. )
Slow & steady is most definitely the way to go & I urge you to talk to a doctor about it. I think the anxiety part of withdrawals last the longest because those damaged receptors ( that help relegate anxiety to begin with ) can take so long to repair themselves. I think the 1st time I tried to detox off klonopin I was under the impression that once the drugs were completely out of my body, I'd feel completely better. Knowing the facts really helped me get clean the 2nd go around.
Btw, congrats on 13 days sober!
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