Hello everyone I am checking in.

[steve4432]

:band Hello Mg and all, I am just checking in and I wanted to say I am sorry that I havent been around the boards, Through the grace of God. I have not relapsed or as I call it a return to hell by a conscious decision to return to drugs and alcohol.

However I have returned to a very break neck pace of work, presure and stress that has eroded the serenity that I value so dearly.For example :
I have been plugging along preforming good even for the unrealistic expectations I put on myself, that seem to continue advancing as the adoration from others seem to feed the need to drive harder and harder.

Last friday it all came to a head for me let me start monday a very important transaction I was involved in went south bad and big. No problem thats my business. Then tuesday I was sued for a judgement from 1995 hey no problem I owe it and now I can take care of it anouther home I bought on a land contract went into forclosure before I made the first payment and then my partner filed for his end first against me well it is business no problem right
I can handle it then many other work related issues came up and friday afternoon at 4;00pm I was sued again for big money and I didnt even get a kiss.

So needless to say I wanted at that moment to change the way I was feeling right now fast you see that is something that I can control I can grab a bottle and have these feelings of dispair depression guilt resentment intrusive thoughts just ziiinging through my head will stop within seconds if I just take a drink..............

Well let me tell you what I did do, I hung up the phone put my face in my hands and said a real short and earnest prayer, Dear God I cant handle all this Im turning it all over to you and I am going to go home now and meditate on all your goodness and the gifts and blessings that you have given me if I can be of assistance call me and I went home and whatched a show with my little boy when they got home from dinner and fell asleep soundly knowing all my problems were in the hands of the one who made the universe what more capable hands could they be intrusted too.

Today is sunday and most of them are delt with and will be ok and all of that was done with no hang over and no handcuffs and no more guilt and shame to add on I am human and I made a mistake and I have to allow myself to make them and be accountable for them.

Oh by the way I also got around a lot of my friends from the program and told them how I was feeling and they helped me get through and know that they are more often then not available to answer Gods Calling to serve to answer prayer I am glad they Gave unconditionally.

Thank you for allowing me to share ........(((((((Hugs))))))))) Stevie

[zoomer]

Gee wiz Stevie, thank God you got through the mess sober! ((((huggys)))

Steve,

It's really good to see you. I missed you!!

I know that our HP has a way of piling things on when he wants to work on us.
I know that ALL things are designed for my good and his purpose in my life. All circumstances!

all of that was done with no hang over and no handcuffs and no more guilt and shame

Wonderful!!!!!

Many hugs to you!!

MG

[2stop]

((((((((((((((Steve))))))))))))))))

God bless you!!!! So glad you shared this....awesome!!!

[Don W]

Hey Stevie, Talk about dealing with a heavy load. You did the right thing. It still boils down to taking care of what you can and like you did turn it over. You should be proud of yourself for not turning to Alcohol. Don W

[Chy]

Good to see you Steve!