MaJoR ReAlItY FeArS!!!!!!

[wastedtime4me]

I tell myself every day ..dont turn on the news..dont click that link..Yet my curiosity gets me and i ifnd myself ..Reading/watching bad news about our world today!!!!
My hubby is the type to tell me just dont worry..I'll protect you..Yet i know he cant ..Not REaLLYY!!! I am a basket case lately!!!I dont want to get into too strong of a detail because i dont want to to trigger someone and make my fears theirs.Yet i really felt the need to go somewhere and get some of it out!!! I know i need to "let go" because there is nothing i can do about any of it!!!!!! It is just starting to eat me up again..like when the trade center was first struck!!!I feel major sorrow for the hostages/the families,,Etc..Any suggestions are welcome..I have tried to talk to myself like i would a friend...Yet my anxiety keeps growing every day!!! I went off zoloft 2 months ago and have been doin ok till latelty!!! I dont want to have to depend on that to get me through ....This is starting to consume me!!!! Also my son has tried for the past few months to pull my guiult strings and im at the end of my rope with him!!!! ever since feb when my kids found out i had been smokin pot..This has been going on with him!!! I quit had a relapse he knows nothin about..then got back up on my feet again..till now..Yeah i said till now..i caved tonite ..i couldnt take it anymore!!! I have no excuse except i gave up tonite!!! I have been trying really hard to do better to do everything good..and it has made no diofference to him at ALL!!! Now he thinks his g/f may be preganant and he has no idea that i know{he is almost 17 no job no drivers permit }She is 18}!!! I have been buying him condoms and apparently he just wanted to colloect them!!! Eveerything just seems all messed up everywhere!!! I felt and feel extremel;y overwhelmed!!! I simply cant fight anymore...i am ate up with worry about the world my kids my marriage!!! The only thing good i have truely in my life right now is my wonderful daughter...I work very hard to make sure i dont lay my burdensa t her feet then my son goes and tells her things like this and says dont tell abnyone..Yet he isnt there for her wehn she needs someone he tells her she is young and dumb...I have messed up already tonite and just domnt know where to turn anymore!!! Thanks for letting me vent...

Hi wastedtime4me,

Maybe going back on the zoloft would be a good idea.

I too have the intrusive thoughts about the world and reality and know that safety is an illusion. These intrusive thoughts are symptoms of anxiety. We feel the free floating anxiety with no connection and start connecting it to other things. Believe me. I've thought of every possible disaster that could happen.

There are some posts here that deal with some of this. I'll bring them up to the top. What you're going through is pretty common with anxiety. The problems with your son just compound it. I've been there too.

Please feel free to talk about it. It helps not to hold it all in.

Hugs,
MG

[wastedtime4me]

Thank you so very much for bumping all the posts up...I have been reading for a while now!!! I got some very good ideas on how to get through today with more peace in my heart/mind..I may consider goin back on the zoloft...It worked real well for me..i was just worried about long term affects...I am going outside to drown all the worries outta my head this morning..I love working in my yard ..its what i have been throwing myself in to lately..thanks again

[Don W]

Hi Wastedtime, I wish I could say just don't worry but, I can't. I feel the same. I have tried to avoid the news but, like you my curosity gets the best of me. So, many things remind me of Vietnam. The only help I can give is what you are feeling is normal. There are many people without addiction or PTSD, that feel the same. I try to devide things into what I can do something about what I can't. Try to find ways that you can help. Donate to the USO, help collect items for troups. You can even help by explaining to children what is happening. I have found they have many fears and many adults don't think they know something is wrong. I have talked to my Grandchildren. I think talking to them helped me also. I like working in the garden also. I also like doing house cleaning when I.m upset. My wife likes that part. Just hang in there. Don W

[wastedtime4me]

Hi Don
First off you said you are a veteran..I want to salute you and thank you for serving for our country and thank you for my freedom!!!
I am afraid to even mention whats goin on to my kids...I am one that says live each day as if it were your last but lets not really talk about the truth of the situation!!! This is the only subject i handle this way...I am very open and talk with my kids all about other things just cant about this!!!I honestly am afraid they will see the fear in my eyes and not really even listen to my words.I wont tell them its gonna be ok when they can clearly see in my eyes that i dont feel what i am sayin..I feel that would only make any fears they have even larger ..so i just leave that alone..I think it is wonderful you have talked with your grandchildren..I just cant bring myself to do it!!!! I like your idea about helpin the troops though...I will be checkin that out!!! I usually do ok at puttin all the worries aside that i can do nothing about...This is just different but i am doin better than when i first posted this...I keep very busy and have a much better lookin yard that shows it..LOL..I wish my hubby would work outside with me and love cleaning like i do...LOL..Your wife is very lucky!!!! He does other things though..He is very good to me ..Actually i like working alone inside and out..i am a perfectionist and tend to make everyone mad that does any kind of work with me..LOL..I like things done my way so i am actually better off doin things alone!!!It is the answer to everything though..Keepin busy at what i LOVe doin!!! Have a great day ..thanks for tryin to help me out....

[Don W]

Hi wastedtime, I think many of us are perfectionest. My wife and I last abut 5 minutes working together. I have a certain orderly fashion I like to do things and it drives her and others crazy. I think that is why many companies got involved with helping employees with addiction. In many cases it was their best worker, their best salesman etc. Don W