she can't or won't understand

[Onewithwings]

I live with my mom. I don't have anywhere else suitable to go. I had a panic attack tonight and she proceeded to chew me out, yell at me, tell me I need to quit acting like this, that she's not going to deal with it, and threatening to send me back to the homeless shelter (which is riddled with drugs, by the way). I try to explain to her that I have no control over my panic attacks and I do the best I can, but that they happen, but she literally said tonight as I was having a meltdown "I am not going to deal with this kind of behavior! You went to a meeting tonight, I thought that was supposed to magically fix everything!" WTF, I never claimed that going to a meeting would "magically fix everything", I said they help. And having a panic attack because she's threatening to kick me out if I don't figure out how to get to my therapist appointment when I have a fear of public transit and can't figure out the bus route/schedule is somehow just me being difficult on purpose... so she says she'll drop me off there but 3 hours before my appointment and before the place even opens and it's supposed to rain tomorrow so I have to sit out in the rain for God knows how long, and I don't even have a cell phone, and I'm freaking out because I just can't deal with it... I don't know what to do! I don't see how I can stay here if she's not even going to TRY to understand, but yell at me when I'm having a meltdown and making things worse! I have Asperger's, Bipolar, Anxiety, and PTSD. I am on meds for the bipolar but just ran out and unable to get any more unless I get a ride to the ER tomorrow but I can't so far and I don't know what to do... I can't deal with all of this right now, I have 10 days clean and it's all I can do to manage that! And she keeps pushing me to quit smoking too, and I keep telling her I'm doing all I can do, but she's pushing me over the edge, I don't know if I can stay clean if I keep having to deal with this insanity! I'm truly doing the best I can, but I need her to at least TRY to help, or at the very least not make things worse! I don't know where to turn anymore.

[fourmaggie]

its kindof hard to open up to someone who "dont get it"...something to think about is maybe asking her to go to a OPEN meeting with you...and also to Al anon/Nar Anon...they are there also to help friends and family of alcoholics and addicts....just a thought...

try and stay focus on yourself and not her inventory....one step at a time....

[MrsBrown]

Im sorry that the person you turned to for help is not helping if not making things worse but keep in mind some people are so concerned about their own life that they do not have compassion or the understanding for others.i have panic attacks too, thank God my doctor prescribed me some medicine to control them(it was trial and error until I found what worked for me) but just remember you have to be strong for yourself because sometimes we are the only ones we can count on and you have to be your own best friend by her saying "i thought that was supposed to majically fix everything" that is a snide staement and sounds like maybe she was trying to get a reaction out of you so PLEASE LISTEN when people do stuff like that the best thing you can do is NOT give them the reaction they want. you will be okay. come on here and talk like you just did, all of us are here for support and to help support.you're best IS good enough because you deserve to be at your best and dont you let anyone take that away from you!

[Mo S]

I'm sorry you are living in this situation. I have been treated for bipolar, anxiety and PTSD for years. Its ESSENTIAL to have a supportive enviroment or I cant get better. I hope you make it to your appointment with your therapist. I'm no professional but it almost sounds like you are in crisis mode because of living there. If you share IT ALL with your therapist she/he may help you to find a way out of that living situation. I had to leave home and go to a homelsss shelter....however, they haelped me get into a supportive living situation where i recieved treatment for all my disorders.
Get somemore outside help is what I'm trying to say. Don't keep it a secret. Go to alcoholism treatment if you can - that too can lead to halfway house treatment where you will be in a supportive enviroment. Even the ER ccan help.

Denial about mental illness runs rampid and hurts especially when its "close to home".