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I almost lost it today

Old 11-14-2011, 08:06 PM
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I almost lost it today

I almost had a nervous breakdown today. I am just venting, so thanks in advance for bearing with me.

I have a full time job and I write freelance on the side to support my family (3 kids and an under-employed husband). Anyway, writing has been very slim pickings indeed these past few months because the company I worked with that paid well nearly went under and severely scaled back the work.

As a result, I am really struggling financially. My house payment is just out of the on-time territory and heading into late territory, and I finally scheduled a payment.

So what happens today? Direct tv took an unauthorized payment out of my account to the tune of $300. I had cancelled them last month and apparently if you don't pay within 2 weeks they use the last card you used with them and charge your account. Needless to say, I am reversing that charge but my bank says it could take up to two weeks to get my money back. In the meantime, I have no money for food and to make matters worse, Sunday is my birthday and although I knew we wouldn't have money to do anything, I was at least hoping for a pizza LOL.

All day long my heart was pounding. To top it off, I barely slept. I just want this nightmare to end and to not have to worry so much.

But, I didn't drink. This marks 16 days sober.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 11-16-2011, 05:01 PM
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Congratulations on Day 16! Despite feeling stressed you made it through another sober day. As Caroline Knapp in "Drinking a love story" pointed out flexing an emotional muscle. That is wonderful
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Old 11-16-2011, 06:14 PM
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When I have days like you just had, first I vent, then comes the why me? I've learned something that helped me a lot... Why not me? I'm no different from the millions of people out there facing their own challenges. Staying sober through emotional turmoil. So, I try and put things in perspective. I practice being grateful, for what I have. Be it your family, your husband, your health, a place to lay your head, or maybe just enough to eat for the day. Your sobriety most of all. See where I'm going with this?

I hope this makes sense to you WritingFool. Congratulations on 16 days!! Thank you for posting and trusting us enough to share your day.



Best Wishes To You!
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Old 11-16-2011, 07:51 PM
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You are absolutely right, Opivotal. So many are worse off than we are and I really do appreciate what I have!

It is just the kids... today my oldest daughter started having a flare-up and she was upset not because she is ill, but because she was sad that we had to spend more money to take her to the doctor! She is a real sweetheart - I just want things to be stable for her and her sister and brother. It really gets to me sometimes.

But now I have 18 days.
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Old 11-17-2011, 07:56 AM
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18 days is awesome Writing Fool! Sure, I understand about your daughter, kids pick up on family/money problems. I remember, spending my last 100 dollars, to take my son to the Doctors. I didn't know how we would survive for the week, but, we did and life went on.

I wasn't trying to downplay your troubles, just give you a different perspective on how to get through them without losing your sanity. I'm sure the love you have for your daughter will help ease her troubled mind.

Keep going in your recovery...your doing fantastic!!



Best Wishes To You!
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