MG and Jared - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sidney · 10-20-2003, 09:35 PM

MG,
Jared to be home the 4th of Nov. Problems with him yesterday. He told me he was incurabel. Not quite sure where he leanded that word. Cant believe Im unemployed after 14 years.
Blessings,
Sidney

10-20-2003, 10:20 PM

What happened to your job Sidney???

sidney · 10-23-2003, 01:50 AM

MG,
I was offered a job with a Dr. whom I had known for three years. She was going to work around the hours I needed to take care of Jared. She ended up beiing totally evil. Yelling at me in front of patients, calling me at home pissed off. She was only targeting me. The office manager even spoke to her 6 times about the way she was treating me. I couldnt take it anymore so I quit. Ive never just quit a job before. I have an interview next week with the school district which would work well with Jareds schedule. Hopefully that will pan out. I just couldnt see commuting an hour to a job that was so degrating. I was becoming very depressed and still am. She would work us 10 to 13 hours a day straight which is illegal
I cant sleep tonight. Im also mad at Geoff because hes going on a trip and I think its wrong considering the problems Ive been having with my heart at night. I guess we just have different values.
Blessings,
Sidney

10-23-2003, 11:17 AM

I'm glad you quit and didn't allow someone to treat you that way. It's always depressing being inbetween jobs. I really try hard to look at it as a vacation, but that's not easy when you're worried.

I'm here every night so if you get anxiety when Geoff is gone come and visit me.

Hugs,
MG

sidney · 10-30-2003, 03:42 AM

MG,
I had a job interview today. Ill know in a few days. Its with the school district at a high school as a aid for special ed.
I really dissapointed in Geoff. I found a bunch of porn on the computer. Ive been down that road before with my 1st husband.
Its degrading and depressing . He might as well be sleeping with all those women. It makes me want to puke. Now I dont know what to do. Maybe I can try to shift our relationship more towards a friendship. I just dont know. Everything is set up here for Jared to come home and Jared is close to him. Im tire of feeling hurt and here I am again in a situation where my judgement was off and I trusted the wrong person. Porn ruined my 1st marriage. I have no tolerance for it and it makes me feel like a nothing.

Hope you are doing well. Sorry to dump on you once again.
Blessings,
Sidney

10-30-2003, 12:19 PM

Sidney,

I understand everything you're saying. I guess you know by now that trying to make him stop won't help. I really believe that even though the porn hurts us that it's not personal. So try not to internalize his addiction.

There are a lot of women that handle porn well. I'm just not one of them. I can see that you aren't either. Do what it takes to bring peace in your life. You have enough to handle without dealing with that too. If everything else in the relationship is good then maybe some counseling would help you both.

Sending you huge hugs.

MG

sidney · 10-31-2003, 03:54 AM

MG,
I hate it. Im very dissapointed and discusted and hurt. I lived with it for 6 years with my 1st marriage and it totally wiped me out and made me feel worthless and ugly and took away my self esteme. Back then I thought it was me now , years later I realize it wasnt. He is aware of my feelings about it from previous conversations. When we decided to have a relationship we actually talked about specific things that would and would not be apart of our relationship, porn was one of them. Im sure he sees it as a seperate entity and harmless but there is no way it could not affect the way he sees and feels about me. Theres no competing with it. It is evil and ruins women. This is my opinion.
How am I supposed to feel good about my own body?? Especially after I just lost 30 pounds and am in good shape. I look at him totally different now and it doesnt go away. Thanks for your advice though.
Love and Blessings,
Sidney

10-31-2003, 12:25 PM

I'm sorry Sidney. I really know just how you feel. I always felt the same way. I could never get past it. I know we are much more than our outward appearance, but It doesn't feel that way when we go through this.

I hope you know that you are a wonderful person.

Many hugs,
MG

10-20-2003, 09:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
sidney Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: new mexico Posts: 242	MG and Jared MG, Jared to be home the 4th of Nov. Problems with him yesterday. He told me he was incurabel. Not quite sure where he leanded that word. Cant believe Im unemployed after 14 years. Blessings, Sidney

10-23-2003, 01:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
sidney Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: new mexico Posts: 242	Job MG, I was offered a job with a Dr. whom I had known for three years. She was going to work around the hours I needed to take care of Jared. She ended up beiing totally evil. Yelling at me in front of patients, calling me at home pissed off. She was only targeting me. The office manager even spoke to her 6 times about the way she was treating me. I couldnt take it anymore so I quit. Ive never just quit a job before. I have an interview next week with the school district which would work well with Jareds schedule. Hopefully that will pan out. I just couldnt see commuting an hour to a job that was so degrating. I was becoming very depressed and still am. She would work us 10 to 13 hours a day straight which is illegal I cant sleep tonight. Im also mad at Geoff because hes going on a trip and I think its wrong considering the problems Ive been having with my heart at night. I guess we just have different values. Blessings, Sidney

10-31-2003, 03:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
sidney Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: new mexico Posts: 242	fricken porn MG, I hate it. Im very dissapointed and discusted and hurt. I lived with it for 6 years with my 1st marriage and it totally wiped me out and made me feel worthless and ugly and took away my self esteme. Back then I thought it was me now , years later I realize it wasnt. He is aware of my feelings about it from previous conversations. When we decided to have a relationship we actually talked about specific things that would and would not be apart of our relationship, porn was one of them. Im sure he sees it as a seperate entity and harmless but there is no way it could not affect the way he sees and feels about me. Theres no competing with it. It is evil and ruins women. This is my opinion. How am I supposed to feel good about my own body?? Especially after I just lost 30 pounds and am in good shape. I look at him totally different now and it doesnt go away. Thanks for your advice though. Love and Blessings, Sidney

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10-20-2003, 10:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	What happened to your job Sidney???

10-23-2003, 11:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	I'm glad you quit and didn't allow someone to treat you that way. It's always depressing being inbetween jobs. I really try hard to look at it as a vacation, but that's not easy when you're worried. I'm here every night so if you get anxiety when Geoff is gone come and visit me. Hugs, MG

10-30-2003, 03:42 AM	#5 (permalink)
sidney Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: new mexico Posts: 242	MG, I had a job interview today. Ill know in a few days. Its with the school district at a high school as a aid for special ed. I really dissapointed in Geoff. I found a bunch of porn on the computer. Ive been down that road before with my 1st husband. Its degrading and depressing . He might as well be sleeping with all those women. It makes me want to puke. Now I dont know what to do. Maybe I can try to shift our relationship more towards a friendship. I just dont know. Everything is set up here for Jared to come home and Jared is close to him. Im tire of feeling hurt and here I am again in a situation where my judgement was off and I trusted the wrong person. Porn ruined my 1st marriage. I have no tolerance for it and it makes me feel like a nothing. Hope you are doing well. Sorry to dump on you once again. Blessings, Sidney

10-30-2003, 12:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	Sidney, I understand everything you're saying. I guess you know by now that trying to make him stop won't help. I really believe that even though the porn hurts us that it's not personal. So try not to internalize his addiction. There are a lot of women that handle porn well. I'm just not one of them. I can see that you aren't either. Do what it takes to bring peace in your life. You have enough to handle without dealing with that too. If everything else in the relationship is good then maybe some counseling would help you both. Sending you huge hugs. MG

10-31-2003, 12:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	I'm sorry Sidney. I really know just how you feel. I always felt the same way. I could never get past it. I know we are much more than our outward appearance, but It doesn't feel that way when we go through this. I hope you know that you are a wonderful person. Many hugs, MG

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