Update

[deerwalk]

I think I have somewhere around 17 days sober, again. I am currently in my head game with OCD. It's so insidious. It's like a voice- it takes anything I think and steers it in a completely different direction, distracting me from the matter at hand. It's disheartening because I used to love to read so much, however now I can't concentrate at all, as I start to obsess and worry over something. My friends are sick of it so I have withdrawn to save them from from it and so I can keep them in my life. I have lost people and been yelled at over it. I know it has impacted my entire life and that saddens me. Meds don't work- they depress me. I took antabuse for a few days and then quit because I was afraid of liver damage, which ait can apparently cause "infrequently"- to quote the information that came with it. I have been taking my roommate's xanax to get through the days without drinking and without doing something to hurt myself. I try to keep busy. I have successfully avoided cutting. Thanks for listening.

[SpeedyJason]

I don't have any advice for you but glad to see you're up and runnin again

Congrats on your 17 days!

[Astro]

I don't have anything helpful to say, but it sounds like you're making progress in small increments, and any kind of progress is good. If you can find it within you, please be gentle on yourself. I've looked around your user page before, and know there's a creative individual hiding away. Keep posting, it's good to hear from you.

PS: Cool avatar. Very mischevious

[ananda]

I get it deer...its a hard place to be (hug)