Slightly off.

[deerwalk]

I had a job interview for a job I'd love to do- for a place I'd like to work for very much! Yay! However, my way of coping with the fact that I have dared to hope again was as follows: Quite a bit of alcohol mixed with a bit of xanax. Nervousness- 1. Self restraint- 0. I try to be "good", and properly navigate the waves in my life. I am extremely grateful to experience a few moments of freedom from mental anxiety and distress today, though I know I went about it in a way that is not exactly healthy. At this point I wonder, why is it so bad to steal a few moments of peace, however it comes? I can't bear the daily anxiety and pain anymore, and I am loathe to regularly put synthetic brain chemicals in my body again. Withdrawals nearly sent me over the edge the last time I did that... Today I am thankful that my mind is not besieged with the usual sadness and fear. I know it's likely the xanax in my system. I did lose a few hours last night which is disconcerting, apparently I was talking iwth roomate and don't rememebr. Maybe a few other things as well, this morning I noticed my press was filled with coffee I made and did not consume, and I washed the dishes and did laundry. How domestic of me.

[Bamboozle]

Originally Posted by deerwalk

I am extremely grateful to experience a few moments of freedom from mental anxiety and distress today, though I know I went about it in a way that is not exactly healthy. At this point I wonder, why is it so bad to steal a few moments of peace, however it comes? I can't bear the daily anxiety and pain anymore, and I am loathe to regularly put synthetic brain chemicals in my body again. Withdrawals nearly sent me over the edge the last time I did that...

I'm curious...how did you get off the meds? Did you stop abruptly or go on a tappering schedule?


I know I'll worry about withdrawals when I get off my meds...that is, if I ever get off my meds. I still have some bad moments...but the majority of the time my meds keep me balanced. I cannot believe the difference in me today verses 4 months ago. These meds have been a lifesaver...I can't function well without them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to live with the pain and anxiety every day.

I don't know if I'm going to have to be on these pills indefinetly, but if I do...I'll take them. I can't go back to the way I was.

[deerwalk]

Hi Bam I suspect my doctor tapered me off too quickly. He halved my prescription for a start. I felt awful- heart palpitations, anxiety attacks... After that it was half again every two weeks and half again in the final week, every other day. I can't go through that again. I understand clonanzapem is not meant for long term use, however my anxiety is long term. I am losing friends over it, which feeds the depression. Oh well. Thanks for listening

[Bamboozle]

Originally Posted by deerwalk

Hi Bam I suspect my doctor tapered me off too quickly. He halved my prescription for a start. I felt awful- heart palpitations, anxiety attacks... After that it was half again every two weeks and half again in the final week, every other day. I can't go through that again. I understand clonanzapem is not meant for long term use, however my anxiety is long term. I am losing friends over it, which feeds the depression. Oh well. Thanks for listening

Try something else for anxiety.

I'm not on antianxiety meds anymore...but a lot of that resolved because of my depression meds. Actually feeling happier has enabled me to be calmer. I know that's not how it works for everyone.

Have you ever tried a beta blocker? I was on Propranolol for heart palpitations...I used to get premature heartbeats all the time. That made my anxiety worse...but the meds helped.

Now I'm on Metoprolol...and I very seldom have palpitations. I used to feel every single one...now I'm happy to say they're a rare event. Finally.

Keep talking to your doctor and find some kind of combo that works. I know the beta blockers won't relieve the mental part of your anxiety, but it can reduced the physical symptoms of anxiety...and that's a big help.

[otterbearcat]

DW,

Would you consider meditation vs meds for the anxiety unless it is an 'attack'.

I take Ativan sometimes, I think it is less addictive than xanex, it isnt as strong and I never take it more than 2 days in a row so I wont get addicted. (I think).

Have you considered CBT?

When it comes to anxiety, I know that is necessary (for me), otherwise I would be tempted to be on benzo's all day...

[deerwalk]

I have been trying a bit of meditation although I am awful at it. I go to a local buddhist temple. I intend to pursue it further. I certainly can't say that when I attempt to meditate on my own it does my mind any good. Not yet at least. I know it won't happen over night so the challenge is how to deal in the mean time.