Anxiety speaking in front of a group of people

[Sweets79]

Hi,

Does anyone else experience this?

I have always had an extremely difficult time speaking in front of groups of people. I find it doesn't really happen in social situations where I'm comfortable, but more in a school/work environment.

I just started school again and when I was in class the other day, the Professor said he was going to go around the room, ask everyone's name and questions about them. As soon as he said that I felt my heart start beating fast. It wound up that there wasn't enough time and he said he would do it next week. Right away I felt some relief, but I'm not really looking forward to doing it. He also said at the end of the course, we would have to stand up in front of the class and give a presentation, which PETRIFIES me. I have not been able to speak in front of a group of people since I was in Grade School and High School. I've always ran from it, but now it's time to face it.

Does anyone have any ideas or techniques they can suggest for this? I was thinking a Valium would help before the presentation. I have taken them before and they help when I get super anxious. The only problem with that I noticed most Doctors don't like to write out scripts for them. Also, I want to find a long term way to deal with this.

If anyone has any suggestions on this, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks

[thecat3]

to overcome, to speak for the 1st time in a large group is a great challange, once you passed that and face your fear, it should be easier.

also, its important to be prepared for the presentation that you are making. maybe even make index cards to help you lead the way, in case you forget or get distracted. know your material, make eye contact with a friendly face. practice your speech in front of mirror maybe in front of few friends.

what also is interesting besides doing a presentation, is keeping the crowd interested so know your topic well and be nice and clear.

what's really interesting about us, humans, we are so self centered, as we walk into a room full of people we thinking about ourselfes, meanwhile everyone else is doing just exact same thing (about their own self)

[ian_g]

Originally Posted by Sweets79

Hi,

Does anyone else experience this?

I have always had an extremely difficult time speaking in front of groups of people. I find it doesn't really happen in social situations where I'm comfortable, but more in a school/work environment.

I just started school again and when I was in class the other day, the Professor said he was going to go around the room, ask everyone's name and questions about them. As soon as he said that I felt my heart start beating fast. It wound up that there wasn't enough time and he said he would do it next week. Right away I felt some relief, but I'm not really looking forward to doing it. He also said at the end of the course, we would have to stand up in front of the class and give a presentation, which PETRIFIES me. I have not been able to speak in front of a group of people since I was in Grade School and High School. I've always ran from it, but now it's time to face it.

Does anyone have any ideas or techniques they can suggest for this? I was thinking a Valium would help before the presentation. I have taken them before and they help when I get super anxious. The only problem with that I noticed most Doctors don't like to write out scripts for them. Also, I want to find a long term way to deal with this.

If anyone has any suggestions on this, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks

I would say stay away from benzos or any drug. Put it in perspective...we drink to feel that ease and comfort so as to deal with life. Well by using Valium isn't that essentially what you would be doing? Additionally when we justify "well I'll just use the Valium cause I don't want to feel anxious" we start to justify the use at other times. For me when I first got sober I was anxious all the time and thus this would justify using all the time haha. Additionally it is a downer just like alcohol, addictive and a whole other road to go down that you really don't want to.

In terms of speaking in front of others, I today see that I'm no longer that important to other people. They don't think about me as much as I think they think about me haha. They don't care what you say and quite frankly 10 minutes after I speak in class they aren't harping on what I said, they moved on. People generally don't care about if I sound good or what I'm wearing when I'm giving a presentation. I too was so scared of everything...I wouldn't raise my hand even if I was pretty sure I knew the answer because I didn't want to take the risk that I was possibly wrong. It is all fear of other people's opinions. Fear that I could not walk through and ran my life for years. Fear robs us of opportunities. I am able today to talk in front of a group if need be.

Another helpful thought would be to practice your presentation...maybe make a few friend in the class so as to be comfortable and speak with passion. Usually people who speak with a passion are able to capture the attention of an audience. You will be fine. Shying away will ultimately make a bigger mess than putting yourself out there. Hold your head up...you have nothing at all to be ashamed of. No need to walk on eggshells.

Hope this helped some!

- Ian

[MCake]

At times, I have this phobia too - especially in school. It's annoying, as I'm most definitely not shy, but I don't like being in the limelight either. I agree with Ian, I've realised that most people pay no attention whatsoever to whomever is speaking, lol.

Also, when I have to do a presentation, I've discovered that telling people outright that I'm not much of a speaker. So I just go up there, smile (this works wonders!), and say "I'm a bit nervous right now, so bear with me" This breaks the ice, and relieves most of my tension. Many people struggle with this issue too, and understand.

Practice seems to help as well. The easiest way to start practising, in a classroom setting, is to ask questions - start by raising your hand and blurting out the question. Most teachers love to ramble so just smile and nod your head as they answer. As your confidence grows, you'll probably be able to do this more smoothly.

Smiling is great: people usually react with interest and smile back. It sure beats blushing and stuttering, lol.

Hope this helps You're definitely not alone.

[Sweets79]

Thank you so much for the replies!

Really great advice here. The index cards are a great idea, and raising my hand to ask questions is also great idea. That should definitely start me feeling more comfortable.

I am also so used to saying "like' and "ya know". It sounds horrible when you're giving a presentation.

As far as the Valium, I have taken them before when needed and they helped greatly. I never found myself addicted to them or wanting more, because they would just make me really mellow, and I am not crazy about that feeling all the time. I like that feeling only when needed.

I'm going to definitely use this advice.

[Bamboozle]

Originally Posted by Sweets79

Hi,

Does anyone else experience this?

I have always had an extremely difficult time speaking in front of groups of people. I find it doesn't really happen in social situations where I'm comfortable, but more in a school/work environment.

I just started school again and when I was in class the other day, the Professor said he was going to go around the room, ask everyone's name and questions about them. As soon as he said that I felt my heart start beating fast. It wound up that there wasn't enough time and he said he would do it next week. Right away I felt some relief, but I'm not really looking forward to doing it. He also said at the end of the course, we would have to stand up in front of the class and give a presentation, which PETRIFIES me. I have not been able to speak in front of a group of people since I was in Grade School and High School. I've always ran from it, but now it's time to face it.

Oh, my...the last time I did a presentation I got cotton mouth so bad I was dried up for an hour. It was only in front of about 12 people...but I could feel their stares *brr*

Originally Posted by Sweets79

Does anyone have any ideas or techniques they can suggest for this? I was thinking a Valium would help before the presentation. I have taken them before and they help when I get super anxious. The only problem with that I noticed most Doctors don't like to write out scripts for them. Also, I want to find a long term way to deal with this.

If anyone has any suggestions on this, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks

(Not a doctor here...so please ask a real one. )

Yeah, you won't be able to get Valium...but you can ask about Propranolol, a beta-blocker. I was on that for blood pressure, but it does help to relieve the physical symptoms of anxiety. Some performers/lecturers will take it about an hour beforehand to help get through a performance/lecture.

Now, this won't relieve the mental part of your anxiety, but the reduction of physical symptoms will help.

Here, easy Google link. Read through a few of them to get other people's experience and please talk to your doctor:

propranolol for anxiety - Google Search

[Sweets79]

Originally Posted by Bamboozle

Oh, my...the last time I did a presentation I got cotton mouth so bad I was dried up for an hour. It was only in front of about 12 people...but I could feel their stares *brr*



(Not a doctor here...so please ask a real one. )

Yeah, you won't be able to get Valium...but you can ask about Propranolol, a beta-blocker. I was on that for blood pressure, but it does help to relieve the physical symptoms of anxiety. Some performers/lecturers will take it about an hour beforehand to help get through a performance/lecture.

Now, this won't relieve the mental part of your anxiety, but the reduction of physical symptoms will help.

Here, easy Google link. Read through a few of them to get other people's experience and please talk to your doctor:

propranolol for anxiety - Google Search

Haha,

Sometimes people who aren't doctors have more sense, lol

Thanks so much for the info. I will def talk to my Dr. about the med you mentioned.

[ian_g]

Originally Posted by Sweets79

I am also so used to saying "like' and "ya know". It sounds horrible when you're giving a presentation.

Sounds a lot like me...worst habit I ever developed. It is sort of ingrained in me and I do it without any thought.

The issue with index cards is that it really takes the audience's attention off of you. I know for me, I tend to focus heavily on the index cards if I have them and am relying on them to aide me. If it is a presentation, Power Point is the way to go. Go online and search for "Power Point Templates" and also "effective Power Point slides" (or something to that effect). I learned that the best Power Point slides say the least and include graphs/images. You never want to have entire paragraphs on a Power Point, rather keywords and/or phrases so as to help lead/guide you into the next idea or point.

Another thing with Power Point is that it draws the audience's attention to the screen rather than having nothing to refer back to. It helps additionally if you wanted to put a short video clip in there to eat up time or get the groups focus back on track.

The final issue with index cards is that they simply tend to not show as much mastery over the subject or assignment. Usually they do not go over well with the teacher as the eye contact with the index cards becomes a priority. The focus should be on making as much contact with the audience as possible along with sounding enthusiastic.

In terms of the Valium, you hopefully know yourself well enough to come to a sound decision. If asking for an opinion, I would shy towards the cautious end and say that if you really don't need it, it is best to leave it be. But then again I'm no doctor and that is just my experience and opinion. It just becomes a whole crazy avenue that can open up as it clearly creates that same escape from reality and feelings (whether they be nervousness or sadness...really anything) that is evident with alcohol.

Hope this helped some and good luck. Remember people aren't thinking about us as much as we think they are thinking about us. We just aren't (fortunately enough) that important.

P.S.: Try writing "Power Point" as one word in a post it does this ********** weird.

[itisatruth]

Remember people aren't thinking about us as much as we think they are thinking about us.

So true.....

...they really aren't thinking of us like we think they are and if we could only get out of our own heads....

Lots of good advice already...but thought I'd just agree: being prepared/knowing what you are going to say helps sooooo much - and you can get that with practice and flash cards or power point (a good tool to help keep you on topic and look good too). These also help with the "ums" and "likes" because you will be less likely to fill in gaps when moving from one thing to another. Transition words also help (depending on the topic), such as....also, another thing, for example, etc...If you do say um or like, don't sweat it and keep going.

I'm quiet/shy by nature with groups of people so why I chose my job I'll never know....but in my job I speak daily in front of a "familiar" audience but occasionally I have to speak in front of others....most recently before a room of about 30 managers and strangers to "sell" a product I had tested. I used a prewritten single page with bullets instead of flash cards and just went down the list paying as little attention to my audience as possible....I mean you have to make eye contact and all that, but I just kind of glossed over them and did my best to not focus on any one person.

I can't comment on taking medication before your speeches because that is between your doctor and you, but I will say that most people have anxiety about making speeches. Over time I've become much better at it, but now I'm 41 and good at my job yet still nervous about it. It takes practice.

Hope it goes well for you

[marty888]

I find preparation is the key, practice your presentation in front of the mirror, and know it back to front. I also make a list of key points I want to cover and even if you dont have to refer to them knowing you have them gives you a great level of comfort. power point slides are a great idea as it takes the audience eyes of you.
I try and inject a bit of subtle humour in the introduction as it helps everyone relax.
The key is a interesting introduction a solid content and a convincing ending to wrap it all up.
Deep breaths before you start and dont talk fast, also keep a glass of water with you.
Remember everyone else in the class is just as nervous as you are in doing there presentation.
The nerves are actually a positive, I find if Im not nervous I dont perform as well.

[ian_g]

Originally Posted by itisatruth

but I will say that most people have anxiety about making speeches. Over time I've become much better at it, but now I'm 41 and good at my job yet still nervous about it. It takes practice.

Hope it goes well for you

Dead on...I have this crazy ability to just straight up self doubt no matter how well I know the material. If there is the slightest possibility things could go bad, I harp on that rather than focusing on the fact that things will be fine. You'll do fine keep doing what you are doing and things fall into place.

[least]

I have anxiety just looking at myself in the mirror upon waking up...

If valium would help that, I'd gladly take them every day...

[NeverLookinBack]

Originally Posted by Sweets79

Hi,

Does anyone else experience this?

I have always had an extremely difficult time speaking in front of groups of people. I find it doesn't really happen in social situations where I'm comfortable, but more in a school/work environment.

I just started school again and when I was in class the other day, the Professor said he was going to go around the room, ask everyone's name and questions about them. As soon as he said that I felt my heart start beating fast. It wound up that there wasn't enough time and he said he would do it next week. Right away I felt some relief, but I'm not really looking forward to doing it. He also said at the end of the course, we would have to stand up in front of the class and give a presentation, which PETRIFIES me. I have not been able to speak in front of a group of people since I was in Grade School and High School. I've always ran from it, but now it's time to face it.

Does anyone have any ideas or techniques they can suggest for this? I was thinking a Valium would help before the presentation. I have taken them before and they help when I get super anxious. The only problem with that I noticed most Doctors don't like to write out scripts for them. Also, I want to find a long term way to deal with this.

If anyone has any suggestions on this, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks

Hi Sweets,

I am in the same boat as you. I am a senior in College about to head off to Grad school and I have spent my whole undergraduate career dodging speeches and other types of situations where I would have to talk. In a couple classes, I have actually taken a penalty and a poorer grade just so I don't have to do the speech. Pathetic huh? I would tell you to just get it out of the way. But before you do, visualize yourself speaking confidently, and meditate/do breathing exercises before you do your speech. In reality, every other person in your class is as scared/more terrified than you are. They probably are not even thinking about you, they are thinking to themselves "Oh **** how I am going to go up there and do this?!!". If anything, they are ROOTING for you! Good luck, and try not to be as much a wuss as I was. It only maximizes the problem.

[Sweets79]

Originally Posted by NeverLookinBack

Hi Sweets,

I am in the same boat as you. I am a senior in College about to head off to Grad school and I have spent my whole undergraduate career dodging speeches and other types of situations where I would have to talk. In a couple classes, I have actually taken a penalty and a poorer grade just so I don't have to do the speech. Pathetic huh? I would tell you to just get it out of the way. But before you do, visualize yourself speaking confidently, and meditate/do breathing exercises before you do your speech. In reality, every other person in your class is as scared/more terrified than you are. They probably are not even thinking about you, they are thinking to themselves "Oh **** how I am going to go up there and do this?!!". If anything, they are ROOTING for you! Good luck, and try not to be as much a wuss as I was. It only maximizes the problem.

Hi

Thanks for your reply. Yes I have dodged speeches in school also and my grades had suffered. I know exactly what you mean.

I have some time until I have to give the presentation, so I am going to mentally prepare for it, and try to absorb all the advice I get. Anxiety's a b*tch! lol

[ian_g]

Originally Posted by Sweets79

Hi

Thanks for your reply. Yes I have dodged speeches in school also and my grades had suffered. I know exactly what you mean.

I have some time until I have to give the presentation, so I am going to mentally prepare for it, and try to absorb all the advice I get. Anxiety's a b*tch! lol

Depending upon where you go to school, they usually have a Learning Center where there are hired individuals to help out with issues such as the one you are addressing. When I got meningitis (it was so bad) and had a seizure as a result about a year ago, I was put on Tegretal (anti-seizure medication) for a few months in the fall and as a result I had crazy short-term memory loss. Anyways, the doctors told me that I would be able to get extra time for that semester (Fall 2008) and to meet with the Learning Resource Center. Well, they had me meet with this woman who basically helped work around the whole short term memory loss issue. Prior to the whole meningitis and being on the medicine, I was able to remember things and never have to write any assignments down. Well the instructor woman I met with helped to get me organized and additionally, she actually worked with me on my presentation skills. I think my presentation skills were decent but she definitely helped me out a ton in the few sessions we went over things. She had me practice my speech in front of her along with set a timeline for when I would have it memorized by.

Look into your school's Learning Resource Center and take advantage of it. The individuals there would much rather help students instead of sitting around bored. Hope this helps and let me know if you were able to find such center at your school.

- Ian

[NeverLookinBack]

Originally Posted by Sweets79

Hi

Thanks for your reply. Yes I have dodged speeches in school also and my grades had suffered. I know exactly what you mean.

I have some time until I have to give the presentation, so I am going to mentally prepare for it, and try to absorb all the advice I get. Anxiety's a b*tch! lol

It's especially bad from people with an addictive personality. For years, I used to be drunk in class to get through it. I even drank in class for almost a year (leaving my empty 6 pack under the desk for the teacher to find..I was a smart one!).

In the end, I was able to get through a lot of difficult situations at school because of alcohol. But in the end, I am sure it made my anxiety worse. Your right...anxiety is a B*tch. It's good to know we are not alone.

One a positive note, my psychologist had a horrible anxiety problem when he was younger, to the point where he was terrified of doing public speaking. But after exposure, deep breathing, and constructive thoughts he made it through. Now, he does speaking tours and talks in front of huge crowds of people for seminars and what not. We can all do it if we practice and have courage! God knows we've been through worse.

[Sweets79]

Originally Posted by NeverLookinBack

It's especially bad from people with an addictive personality. For years, I used to be drunk in class to get through it. I even drank in class for almost a year (leaving my empty 6 pack under the desk for the teacher to find..I was a smart one!).

In the end, I was able to get through a lot of difficult situations at school because of alcohol. But in the end, I am sure it made my anxiety worse. Your right...anxiety is a B*tch. It's good to know we are not alone.

One a positive note, my psychologist had a horrible anxiety problem when he was younger, to the point where he was terrified of doing public speaking. But after exposure, deep breathing, and constructive thoughts he made it through. Now, he does speaking tours and talks in front of huge crowds of people for seminars and what not. We can all do it if we practice and have courage! God knows we've been through worse.

Yes you're right

I know if I was still drinking I would DEFINITELY have a few shots before the presentation. Maybe even sneak some vodka in a water bottle. Not doing that anymore, so have to figure out a better way.

[NeverLookinBack]

Man...that sounds all too familiar. I was a bit more blatant with my alcohol consumption in class. I drank right out in the open, in the back of class. Towards the end of the year, most people who sat around me had moved their seats (probably because of the horrible beer stench in the back).

Isn't it funny how when you are drinking you think being sober will feel better..but when you are sober and feeling bad you think drinking will do the job? I battle with this all the time. In the end, drinking is never the answer. I find that it just the slips and relapses just increase in severity over time.

[Sweets79]

Originally Posted by NeverLookinBack

Man...that sounds all too familiar. I was a bit more blatant with my alcohol consumption in class. I drank right out in the open, in the back of class. Towards the end of the year, most people who sat around me had moved their seats (probably because of the horrible beer stench in the back).

Isn't it funny how when you are drinking you think being sober will feel better..but when you are sober and feeling bad you think drinking will do the job? I battle with this all the time. In the end, drinking is never the answer. I find that it just the slips and relapses just increase in severity over time.

What the??!?

The Professor didn't know you were drinking back there? lol

[NeverLookinBack]

Originally Posted by Sweets79

What the??!?

The Professor didn't know you were drinking back there? lol

I had a system going. Whenever the teacher would turn their back to class I would take a chug off my beer. Oh yeah, when I opened the beer....I would cough really loud as I opened the can!!! Hahahaha! I can't believe I got away with it for so long!

[JasperFan]

Sweets79, I have a lot of sympathy for you. I absolutely hate speaking in front of a group of people. I used to speak all the time in front of the class at primary school, do prose reading competitions (yea i was a bit of a geek!) and all sorts of things up until I was 12. I started getting self concious through high school and then I would avoid answering in class more and more until it became an 'issue' for me.

I had to do 3 or 4 presentations in my first year of university and I stammered and stuttered through them wishing a hole would open up in the floor and swallow me.
After that I avoided classes where presentation work was involved and didn't have to do another presentation for the whole of university. I even did the whole background work and collation of a project for my team in one class in exchange for not having to do the presentation (the others definitely got a good deal out of that one!).

When I started working a couple of years ago I realised the day would come when I had to speak in front of a group of people and I was terrified. What was even more frustrating is that I know I'm good at it if my nerves would give me a break! When my doc diagnosed depression I discussed the anxiety around public speaking. He gave me Proprananol and advised taking them before i had to speak. The first time I did it was only to a group of 6 people but I found that with the physical symptoms calmed i had no problems delivering my presentation. Now I can talk to groups of this size without the beta blockers and would like to try larger groups.

The problem for me had been years of avoidance and 'jumping back on the horse' def worked for me. I discussed this with my counsellor at the time who said that years of building the fear in my head had turned it into a much bigger deal than it actually is. 'Get it over with' for the first time and hopefully you'll never look back! Good luck I'm sure you'll do great!

[Overman]

Many people struggle with a fear of public speaking. Last time I checked, it was among the top 'fears' that people identified.

I've had problems with it in the past, but now I don't. It is possible to systematically desensitize yourself to the anxiety through simple exposure. My current role as a student and intern requires me to give presentations and lead groups 2-3 times a week.

I've found that taking several deep breaths and visualizing a serene place beforehand, smiling, and talking loudly (this helps to evacuate the anxiety from my body) helps me immensely.

However, there are some that have trouble with a strictly behavioral approach and benefit from a low dose of benzos (typically xanax) prior to the exposure...in order to prevent a panic attack.

[Sweets79]

Originally Posted by Overman

Many people struggle with a fear of public speaking. Last time I checked, it was among the top 'fears' that people identified.

I've had problems with it in the past, but now I don't. It is possible to systematically desensitize yourself to the anxiety through simple exposure. My current role as a student and intern requires me to give presentations and lead groups 2-3 times a week.

I've found that taking several deep breaths and visualizing a serene place beforehand, smiling, and talking loudly (this helps to evacuate the anxiety from my body) helps me immensely.

However, there are some that have trouble with a strictly behavioral approach and benefit from a low dose of benzos (typically xanax) prior to the exposure...in order to prevent a panic attack.

Thanks for your input and advice

I might need to pop a xanax beforehand. I actually have about 2 months before I have to present my paper, but next weekend I am dancing in front of a crowd. I don't feel too nervous , I hope it stays this way.

I'm trying to not say I don't feel nervous YET, which would be training my brain to think I will be nervous next week, so I am even careful the way I speak about it, lol.

[Sweets79]

Originally Posted by JasperFan

Sweets79, I have a lot of sympathy for you. I absolutely hate speaking in front of a group of people. I used to speak all the time in front of the class at primary school, do prose reading competitions (yea i was a bit of a geek!) and all sorts of things up until I was 12. I started getting self concious through high school and then I would avoid answering in class more and more until it became an 'issue' for me.

I had to do 3 or 4 presentations in my first year of university and I stammered and stuttered through them wishing a hole would open up in the floor and swallow me.
After that I avoided classes where presentation work was involved and didn't have to do another presentation for the whole of university. I even did the whole background work and collation of a project for my team in one class in exchange for not having to do the presentation (the others definitely got a good deal out of that one!).

When I started working a couple of years ago I realised the day would come when I had to speak in front of a group of people and I was terrified. What was even more frustrating is that I know I'm good at it if my nerves would give me a break! When my doc diagnosed depression I discussed the anxiety around public speaking. He gave me Proprananol and advised taking them before i had to speak. The first time I did it was only to a group of 6 people but I found that with the physical symptoms calmed i had no problems delivering my presentation. Now I can talk to groups of this size without the beta blockers and would like to try larger groups.

The problem for me had been years of avoidance and 'jumping back on the horse' def worked for me. I discussed this with my counsellor at the time who said that years of building the fear in my head had turned it into a much bigger deal than it actually is. 'Get it over with' for the first time and hopefully you'll never look back! Good luck I'm sure you'll do great!

Hey Jasper,

Thanks, I got alot out of what you said.

I avoided giving presentations all through high school. I remember not having such a big fear in grade school, though. So, this is a big step for me. Now, not only am I giving a presention soon, I am also dancing in front of people next week.

Thank you for the suggestion on the medicine. I will talk to my doctor about it, if I can get an appt that is! She's always booked. =/

[WantToHeal]

Practice, practice, practice. I have a job that requires public speaking on a fairly regular basis. If I was not subject to mandatory public speaking classes in both high school and college, I don't think I'd be able to hack it today.

Now, I still get some brief flutters in my stomach right before "the moment of truth", but they seem to quickly pass once I'm actually in the moment.

This concept is not so unlike exposure therapy for phobias...gradually, you put yourself in a situation where you do not necessarily want to be, see that it is not threatening, and go progressively further until you've beaten the anxiety.

Have you considered maybe joining Toastmasters, or taking a public speaking class to help you get over your fear?