This horrible feeling venting

[sarryan1]

Hi to all ,

I am so depressed , stressed , emotional , cant consentrate on any one task, I can sleep ohhhhhhhhhh i feel so crap and alone tonight as I have many night recently . I have been dealing with so much lately from my past, been working on me for 2 years attanding counselor as much as i can adn occasional CODA meetings , i fell im getting worse, suicide taughts always in my head at night I need to end this pain, I just can do this alone any more . I have no support unless I just my toxic family , lost all of the friends I had which were few n far between all my life due im sure to my behaviour. MY question is this what they call anxiety. How can I stop these horrible taughts in order to move forwards.

i FEEL SO ILL

[Sweets79]

Originally Posted by sarryan1

Hi to all ,

I am so depressed , stressed , emotional , cant consentrate on any one task, I can sleep ohhhhhhhhhh i feel so crap and alone tonight as I have many night recently . I have been dealing with so much lately from my past, been working on me for 2 years attanding counselor as much as i can adn occasional CODA meetings , i fell im getting worse, suicide taughts always in my head at night I need to end this pain, I just can do this alone any more . I have no support unless I just my toxic family , lost all of the friends I had which were few n far between all my life due im sure to my behaviour. MY question is this what they call anxiety. How can I stop these horrible taughts in order to move forwards.

i FEEL SO ILL

Oh hun,

Sorry you're feeling like this. I have been there and I still struggle.

Do you have anyone you can talk to? Even 1 family member? Friend maybe?

Well, in any case, if you need to vent about exactly what's bothering you, there are plenty of caring, supportive people here who are willing to listen and offer advice.

The best thing you can do right now is to try and work out if you excercise. Punch something, scream (if you're alone.) Lol

I know that's not much advice, but it might help take the edge off the frustration until you calm down and think a little clearer.

[Cleansing]

I feel terrible too. They say misery loves company, but im willing to try to help and be a positive support for you if you need me to be. im sure anybody here will be. just keeping psoting. go into the chatrooms and let it all out.

I wrote a lot for this post, but decided to erase most of it because it sounds like you are doing a lot to get help, but it just isn't working.

I really don't know what to say right now except HANG IN THERE!

u take any meds?

[Astro]

Hi sarryan, I'm sorry you're struggling but it's good to hear that you're working on it and attending meetings. My weekly CoDA group is a blessing in my recovery, I hope you find it helpful.

I posted this on another thread, this is a little bit about my experience with depression and anxiety, it sounds like you're having racing thoughts that are getting you down.........

I never considered depression to be an issue for me, but I could certainly see it in my father and older brother. Sobering up opened my eyes to my own depression issues though.

As soon as I moved away from my kids and ex I felt swallowed up by darkness, loneliness, and sadness. My days went like this......

* Wake up, force myself to shower, shave, brush teeth, and look half-way human. Then sit on the sofa and stare blankly out my apartment window until it was time to take my kids to school.

* Go to work. Yay! Even though I didn't feel great my coworkers would cheer me up with jokes and conversation.

* Maybe go to an AA meeting. That would lift my spirits but I'd leave quickly after the meeting so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone.

* Back to the apartment. Lie in bed, watch the ceiling fan spin, sink into depression and sad thoughts. My life sucked.

What helped me was to see a wellness professional for therapy, he got me on a med (SSRI) and helped me think about what things really made me happy, then I focused on doing those things as much as possible. AA meetings, walks, bike rides, sunshine, I dove into those activities and still keep at it, 4 years later.

Please seek some professional help, it can make a world of difference.

[discontentmiser]

hey!

If you're here posting, then you're not completely alone.

I know, I feel horrible a lot too
a lot

my life sucks, I guess, and when you fell like crap, you don't wanna get off your butt and get food/clean/exercise/etc.

Last week concentration was so bad, and I need glasses, so every train of thought was derails after 20 minutes by sleepiness or a headache

but, since october, I'm getting slightly better

so I know whatever I say will sound cheesy and won't help when your stuck

just keep in mind that when you're suicidal is the worst time to make major life decisions; you're already biased. if nothing else, you can always die some other day

(sorry to sound morbid but that's what helps me when I'm at my worst)