Hey There

[Dustnbone]

Well let me tell you a little about myself i am a 23 year old male, born in london, Ontario. Moved to B.C when was two years old
I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, and panic disorder when was 17, i had problems in school way before that with anxiety but not so much in panic.
When i was 17 i was in terrible car cash, luckly all my friends where wearing seatbelts, but unfortunatly me and my bestfriend were not and i went straight into windshield shattered right throught it,
then got shot back into the car fortunatly my bestfriend took most of the impact from the car hitting us on his side, which i am grateful for everyday and come the same situation i would do that for him in a second.

when it was all said and done i had a kidney ripped in half pelvis broke, couple fingers, and a massive headache and the occasional caughing up glass which i found quite humerous the doctor told me i had substained no head trama.
I was held at the hospital for about 3 weeks on high morphine doses to keep the pain baruble, now this is where it gets interesting first 3 months out of the hospital were great except for the first night because they gave no tylanal
to cope with the pain just after i was able to walk, things started to feel different i was always pissed off, ready to fight, my family relationship went down hill with the step dad wanting me out of his house, mom could barely see me with out
her starting to cry and all this and my friends never knowticed anything, finally my parents took me to a physictriatic doctor he was a pill happy doctor loved giving me prescriptions for anxiety and panic disorders. it wasn't
until a couple visits he informed me that i had some head trauma(1 year after the car accident) and that could be why i was always pissed off and so destructive and then the worse day off my life came at the time i thought it was the best day.

120,000 Check from the insurance place boy was i happy, that night i packed up went to vancouver to see a childhood friend after about 20 beers we deciceded to hitch it across canada. plains,trains,cars what ever we felt the world was ours. i won't go into deal
and on what we did it just invalved alot of strips joints, cocaine, huge amounts of liquor and some good sex and hey! we did make it to the east coast about 2 months later haha, i had the odd anxiety attack wake up covered in sweet feeling of jumping out of the body going crazy
bet that was fixed fast with whiskey. we got back we parted ways i came back to my parents house lucky me they were going to disney land and i was invited so after a few days of relaxing and catching up on times we flew and boy did i forget i hate flying with a passion
somewhat i survived but i think that is the most amount of anxiety attacks iv cramed into 3 hours of flying, disney land was great, finally thought i was coming out of this anxiety stage was getting along with the parents great and i was a joy to be around and i hardly felt anxious
then a stupid move i made was to go visit my family in denver by myself got there was great no drinking in disney land or denver until i met my cousins friend man we ended up drinking everynight, still the anxiety wasn't really bothering me so i partied it up in denver for 1 month
and the day my uncle dropped me off at train station alone my bus didn't leave until 11pm, it was only 11am i walked around the shopping centres and the main street when i almost got hit my a bus after that my anxiety shout throught the roof, sweats, racing, thoughts,
wanting to jump out of your body, feeling your going crazy, i tried to fight it no use, and the last place i wanted to turn was the bar i was only 19 at the time so i went for it and somehow i got in to a bar called coyote uglys haha, i thought that **** was only a movie

well that was a stupid move on my part got completely **** faced did some cocaine with a couple of guys, looked like gang bangers to me they told me off a sweet party in the really ****** end of town and of course me being wasted felt like i had to
boy that was a stupid move stuck out in auruora or something like that 1am in the horning gang bangers everywere i sobered right up pretty quick accesed my situation and thought to myself im pretty much ****** so i ran to nearest street then walked 2 hours to get downtown
was never onced bothered but man what a life lesson that was i got to the bus station at 5am coked out on the break of having a mental breakdown i somehow manage to get my bags and keep my composer in life i get on the bus soon as i am on i passout for 29 hours woke up felt refreshed
saying i will never do coke again the bus ride was pleasant the people were nice for americans haha i did make it home with no problems except the border guard i froze up when he asked he what i was doing in america but after i told him i had panic and anxiety disorder
he let go home,

i got back home for a couple months everything was great didn't drink much unless with friends on weekdays, then about 1 month later i took off with another buddy first 3 nights we did straight coke it was good stuff harmless fun the 4th and 5th night we went
upto the clubs and bars bucked lines and hit shots all night then we went up to see another friend about 2 days later, i told my self i was done with coke for ever we just started with drinking they were bucking lines in the bathroom
all night i finally snapped and got 12 grams of coke and us three stayed up doing it all night man next morning was the most ****** from not sleeping 5 nights and so much drugs i wasnt in my right mind lashed out at a good friend he left,
my other friend couldn't handle the obsevvice drinking and coke use so he went back home, i started going to east til i hit an albertian town was feeling great got there first thing i did was pick up a flat of beer and got hotel room

started drinking away going to strip clubs everynight just having fun about week later all this boozing and cooking caught up with me i would wake up each morning shaking, mind racing in every direction, feeling of impending doom, until i got 7 shots into me
i couldn't even stand i started to get really paranoid wouldn't leave the hotel order in everynight get booze dropped off, what an amazing service that is if i may so haha, by about a month i was ****** couldnt see straight thought i was losing it, so i finally got another room stayed up the whole night
but felt quite refresed in the morning i hopped on a bus about 18 hours on the bus, i started feeling little off, at the time i thought it was nothing but then my anxiety got so bad i was ready to freak out the feeling of nothing seems right i was hearing things seeing things, the next stopp i hopped off at 4am in the morning
shithole little town lucky for me the 7/11 was open i ran to seven eleven got 500$ out ran to the hotel and ordered a room trying to seem normal so they would give me room i got the room layed in bed and thats when the d.ts kicked in
worst night of my life hallucations, hearing sounds seizures fell asleep for about 5 minutes woke up and thought i was suppose to kill barry bonds (something was running on barry bonds on television:P) i realized what had happened i was going throught withdrawal i called the front desk and WHAT
DO YOU KNOW NO HOSPITAL IN THIS TOWN CLINIC IS OPEN DURING DAY so i say **** it lucky enuff for me i had kept 8 beer in my backpack i drank those slowly throughtout the next day until my parents arrived i called them at 4am in a panic

i was feeling quite good on the drive home it was nice parents didnt say but you could see the pain in my moms eyes, my dad just frustrated, we got home and they immediatly took me to er i was placed in detoux for 2 weeks to get everything outta my body that was harmful which was kinda fun met some nice people ended up going drinking with
the one at the end of detoux
came home was feeling pretty good about myself still had quite abit of money left til i wanted to go away for a weekend so i did and what do you know soon as the first drop of liquor hit my lips all hell broke loose i puked in my bed twice trying to killmyself with the pills doctor gave me for anxiety all while in a hotel room

so after about 3 days in the hotel room ****** right out of my mind room trashed a cop knocks on the door (bless that guardian angel mom of mine) i end up going to the ward for 2 days so they can watch me they let me out mom came and picked me up

( some of you might remember my distrell call that i posted on this forum years ago when i was in that hotel room but never came back on until now)

that was the time i really knew it was a time for a change its been 1-2 years since that day ended i have had major anxiety and panic issues but they are under control

you are probaly guessing why i am telling you this well because from what iv seen and studied iv done every pill relating to anxiety and panic and the different techquies of anxiety reduction

and this is what i learned from alot people over the years doctors, family, friends,

if you want to manage a healthy lifestyle with minimal anxiety and panic

here is what i will suggest:
Note: follow your doctors orders, do not ask me for what pills work, its different to everyone, i will just be giving techqiues and healthy habits for people with anxiety

Note: i will start this tommorow i am tired

Note: i am 23yos and have been sober since 2007

[Morning Glory]

Hi Dustnbone,

Thanks for sharing your story with us and congratulations on your sobriety.

We look forward to hearing about your techqiues and healthy habits.

[Astro]

You've got quite a story, Dust. Welcome, and thanks for sharing. I'll look forward to hearing more from you.